Who Knows Where Thoughts Come From, They Just Appear

So, the official brother of Come and Blog It, Trait over at The Contemplative Tulsan (which I would have named "Tulsa Spelled Backwards is A Slut") recently posted a Random Thoughts piece. I like to do those every now and then and was inspired to do something I've been thinking about for a while.

I will use my Blackberry to take down the random thoughts that rattle around in my skull while I'm driving around selling tools. Then when I get home tonight, I'll post it.

You never know what I'll see or hear that will inspire my thought.

This should be interesting.

1) Where'd Kotter go? Was he gone long? What was he doing? I know everyone was really excited to have him back, but where the heck was he?

2) One of my accounts is hosting a charity bbq in September. They want me to give them something to raffle off. I say I'll see what I can do, but also say, why don't I also support you with a special deal on our tools during the event. Dude totally freaks out about not wanting to look like he's using a charity event to make money. Wants the event to just be about raising money for the charity. Thinks it would look bad to use it to make money.

Really dude? Who cares if you make money and raise money at the same time? Plus, like anyone thinks you're doing this 100% out of the kindness of your heart. If that were the case, you'd have this think in a park somewhere not in your store's parking lot.

If you were reading Atlas Shrugged right now like me, you'd be shaking your head at this, too.

3) The Fox River in northern Illinois is really pretty. I'd like to canoe it sometime. Or maybe kayak it. Canoes and kayaks are pretty much the same thing except you have more room for snacks in a canoe. I like snacks while boating, so I'd probably canoe it.

4) I miss The Ticket in Dallas. Great radio. I don't think there's a funnier radio segment than "Gay or Not Gay."

5) I love electricity. I mean, seriously, how cool is that stuff? And how cool is it that man harnessed this energy current that can totally kill him? While everyone was else was cowering during thunderstorms, crazy Ben Franklin was saying, "I wonder if I can catch the flash of light in the sky and do something with it." And he did.

Then crazy dudes like Edison and the extremely underrated Tesla took it to a whole new level. Sometimes I wish I had studied electricity, but then I realize that I probably have my screws secured too tightly to do anything spectacular like those guys.

6) So, I keep a pen clipped onto my shirt all the time. A salesman should have a pen and business cards on him at all times, no excuses. Well, about 3 visits ago, I went to use my pen and couldn't find it. I went back to my truck. I looked everywhere. Nothing.

I just found it. It was hanging out inside my shirt, gettin' all cozy with my belly button. I guess I missed when I went to clip it on.

7) I've met a couple of guys within the last week whose wives just up and left them. I have no idea what to say to that. It sucks. I don't feel like that will ever be something I'll go through, but it still challenges me to be the best husband I can be. Hopefully, I'm that already to her. And it makes me hurt for them. A lot of the time I have to write down things or I forget to pray for them. Not this. I feel like every couple of hours I get burdened to lift these dudes up.

8) I like to sing songs from The Sound of Music and get them stuck in other people's heads. By people I mean, Stacie.

"How do you solve a problem like Maria..."

"Edelweis, edelweis, every morning you greet me..."

"The hills are alive........with the sound of music....."

I hope I didn't just have my man card yanked. The Sound of Music has some very manly stuff in it: Nazis, rugged mountains, intrigue,, double agents, and rampant male chauvinism. It also has all the singing...and nuns...and making clothes out of curtains...and all the singing...

9) Good night, Wesley. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.

Well, there you have it. A day riding around with Ty's brain. Hope you found it to be...better than what you would have been doing otherwise.

The Most Ridiculous Post Ever

I've got to be honest with you. I mean, if I'm not honest here, then what's the point of putting virtual pen to virtual paper for the world to read. Ok. Maybe 0.00000021% of the world to read. (That would be 15 of the roughly 6,700,000,000 who currently reside on our planet for those who need to know how I got there.)

I don't feel much like writing at this moment. So, why am I writing, you might ask? I can't really blame you for asking such intelligent questions. I've always told everyone that I have the smartest readership of all the "________ and Blog It" titled blogs. There's the readers of Go and Blog It. They're morons. Stay and Blog It's readership: Imbeciles. Leave and Blog It may have the dumbest readers of them all, though, but I think we all know why that is...and because of that author we also know that grain augers, fireworks and an old taxi cab are not toys. Right kids?

But somehow I've gotten off topic. Why write when I feel so unlike writing?

Well, I've had several moments over the past couple of weeks where I've really wanted to write. Something would hit me, and at that moment I would really want to grab my keyboard and pound it like I'm kneading a big ball of dough. A ball of dough that will rise on my computer screen, and once I hit publish, will then bake into a delicious loaf of awesomeness that we'll all slice and butter and devour as if we were aliens from the planet NoDough who've never experienced the sensation of warm bread and melted butter igniting our purple taste buds on our green alien tongues causing us to exclaim, "Scnlets chpaqy!"

Sadly, though, I've been bogged down in the marshy goo of work. I've felt like Bart, the railroad worker turned Sheriff in Blazing Saddles, when he was sinking in the quicksand on the push car. And his boss comes by and throws a rope, but sadly only to salvage the push car, leaving Bart to search for the sunken rails of the train track and inch his way to the solid earth of safety once more. I have yet to find my sunken rails in the mire of work, however. But when I get out I'm definitely gonna (SPOILER ALERT) hit my boss over the head with a shovel, get arrested and scheduled to be hung and then get miraculously freed to become the Sheriff of Rock Ridge.

So, why now? Why this post? Let's start with the second question first. I have several starts to posts that I found interesting at some point, but they weren't inspiring me quite enough especially with inadequate time to address them. And I feel that may be the case because I've been gone for a bit and feel like we need to catch up. So, I thought it best that we reacquaint ourselves with one another before I get into some post full of deep thoughts and challenging rhetoric. Mixed with tear-inducing hilarity, of course.

So, hello, my name is Ty. I like road trips, Robert Earl, reading, reveling, rafting, roller coasters, Ricky Ricardo, Rounders and alliteration.

There. I feel much better. Now, perhaps I will be able to post something with substance.

And as to the second question, which, of course, is actually the first question now moved to the second position: I just had to. I needed a break from working. I had to take my eyes off of the computer screen, close them and just type away. Like this: "i canoot bleieve I'm typing with my eyes closed. this is Awesome@". Actually that wasn't as bad as I was expecting.

I wanted to post. I tried to post. I couldn't post. And then, I said, "No way man! You are posting. Whether you like it or not."

So, I decided to post the most ridiculous things that came to my brain. And I don't know your thoughts, but I'd say, "Goal Achieved." I would say "Mission Accomplished" but that's kind of lost it's meaning unless one is parachuting down to an air craft carrier with a banner behind them that reads "Mission Accomplished" you know? I went to Kinko's but they were all out of banners, so let's just go with "Goal Achieved."