Reviewing The Come And Blog It APOHTNFLSWPO

That's the "Annual Prediction of How The NFL Season Will Play Out" for those who don't know my achronyms.

Every year, before the first whistle blows and the first ball is sent hurtling down the field by the foot of a man who otherwise would be playing soccer, I try to tell you exactly what will happen in the NFL season so that you may place your bets appropriately* and so that you can have more time on Sundays for doing chores since you already know the outcome of the games.**

*do not under any circumstances place bets based on what I tell you on this blog
**do not under any circumstances replace watching football on Sundays with chores

Now that the season has come to a close and the Green Bay Packers are World Champs, it's time for me to review my predictions to illustrate how right I was.

For a review of this past seasons prediction column, click here.

We'll start at the top this year, as I did the post. My Super Bowl matchup consisted of the mighty San Diego Chargers vs. the equally mighty Dallas Cowboys.

They combined to win 15 games and both missed the playoffs completely. In reference to the former Charger Ladanian Tomlinson, I wrote:

"In a little ironic twist LT, now with the Jets, will have a mini-resurrection only to see the Jets fail to qualify for post season play. WHAT!?!?!?!?"

The only thing correct in that statement was the mini-resurrection.

About the Cowboys I wrote:

"I don't trust the Dallas Cowboys at all, but as I looked at the other teams in the NFC everyone seemed to have a glaring weakness."

What about the rest of the playoff field from the AFC. Well, first I picked the Patriots to win the East, writing:

"Their defense will be a little shaky, but they'll just outscore everybody with their man-model-myth quarterback, Mr. Brady."

Boy did I nail that one. I am awesome!

But then I followed that immediately with this gem:

"And you know what else...the Dolphins will even finish ahead of the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets this year."

How could I have known that a coaches desire for snacks and feet would motivate a team so?


Next I picked the Colts to make the playoffs again. I said:

"Peyton Manning only does two things: plays QB and films commercials. That's it. And he's very good at both of them."

It was struggle along the way for the Colts due to some injuries, but they got into the tournament nonetheless.

What about my homer division, The AFC North? Well - that didn't work out so well. I predicted the AFC Champion Steelers to be watching the playoffs from their super fancy sofas. And I said this about my Bungles:

"My Cincinnati Bengals make the playoffs in back to back seasons for the first time since E.T. phoned home."

Yeah, that didn't happen. I did pick the Ravens to win the division. They had a 12-4 record, but just couldn't quite get around Pittsburgh for the division title who also finished 12-4.

Maybe after the E.T. Sequel, Cincy can make the playoffs again.



As for the AFC West, I predicted that the Oakland Raiders would return to glory. I think my inaccuracy can be summed up with this line that I wrote: "Oh and the Chiefs stink..."

Well, the Chiefs didn't stink. They were awesome. The Raiders stunk. But they did go 8-8, so maybe I should've just predicted a slight increase in their ability to play football decently.

So, what about the NFC.

Well, in reference to our Super Bowl champs (who I did pick to win the NFC North - which they did not) I wrote:

"If I could trust the Green Bay Packer defense even just a little bit, I'd probably have them in the Super Bowl instead of the Cowboys."

So close to being right.

As for the rest of the North, I picked the Vikings to advance, while the others stayed at home. I actually typed these words:

"No matter what receivers are out there if you've got that line, AP and Favre on your team you should make the playoffs."

If any of you placed a bet on anything that I've written here, I truly, from the bottom of my heart, offer my apologies.

For the NFC South, I picked the Saints to win and the Falcons to be a wild card. That's almost exactly what happened but in reverse order. It's boring when I'm right, so we'll just move on.

That brings us to the NFC West where I wrote this in reference to the AZ Cardinals:

"So, they may have lost Kurt Warner, but they still have Ken Wisenhunt. They still have Larry Fitzgerald. They have Beanie Wells and Tim Hightower. They have a pretty okay kind of defense. And really all they have to do is find a way to win nine games and that should do it in the NFC West."

They went on to win 5 games - only one of which came from their division.

Awesome.

Great work there, Cardinals.

And there you have it. My annual wrap up.

And now, buried at the bottom of this piece in a sincere desire to express my opinion without losing my man-card, I want to let you all know my one hope for the 2011 NFL Season.

I hope it doesn't happen. I really do. I am rooting for a strike/lockout/work stoppage - whatever you call it.

It's not that I don't care. I do. I just need a break. The Cincinnati Bengals have the 9th worst winning percentage from teams in all 4 major American sports over the past 30 years. They've had two winning seasons since 1991 - when I was ELEVEN.

Carson Palmer is not as good as we, the fans, had hoped, but he's still better than a lot of QBs out there, and now he'd rather not play football anymore than play for this franchise.

The ownership refuses to take the steps necessary to put a winning team on the field.

I'm just tired of it all. And I need a breather. So, NFL Owners (Billionaires) and Players (Millionaires), if you could please keep disagreeing about how you're going to split up the concession sales in the fourth quarter of an inter-conference game played on a Sunday afternoon, I'd appreciate it.

two Zero one One

So it begins. Another year, another journey around the sun on this beautiful, round piece of rock. I don't generally make much of starting a new lap, but something about this year has me feeling eagerly expectant which has caught me off-guard to tell you the truth. I mean, come on. It's 2011. It's not 2020 or 2010 or 2050 or some nice round number. No one from sci-fi movies in the 50's traveled to the year 2011 to explore the future. No one making movies in the year 3010 will set their movies in 2011. Just trust me on that one.

So, when I felt myself anticipating the onset of 2011 and the desire to see 2010 fade into the rearview, I took myself by surprise. And after 18 days of 2011, I have to say, the year is beginning to deliver.

I started this year having no idea what my job would look like. Well, that's not entirely true. Over the course wrapping up 2010 I determined that it could take on one of three forms:

• No job
• Job with way more accounts to call on, a lot more traveling and less dollars to manage
• Job with way less accounts to call on, but more dollars to manage, still plenty of traveling, but all of the traveling is within a couple of states

Once 2010 came and went and some people that weren't me had been let go, I eliminated the first option. I never really felt in danger of that, but you never know these days.

Then a couple of days into 2010, I received an organizational announcement that listed all of the new people that would be doing the job in that second bullet point. I was not on the list. So, I eliminated that as a possibility, and came to the conclusion that option 3 was where I was going to be.

And this is great news! It's where I wanted to be, and I felt it was the right step for my career. It was all made official at a sales meeting we had to discuss the transitions about a week ago. My job is essentially the same, but the responsibilities are a little different and there's a lot more at stake - which I love. So, good job on that 2011.

2011 also saw Stacie get a pretty sweet modeling gig down in Kansas City. She just auditioned for it a couple of weeks ago and did the shoot yesterday. She had a blast, and got a nice role in the production. Not to mention, another company called her agent out of the blue asking if they could use her, but their shoot was the same day as her shoot in KC so she couldn't do it. But, still, it's nice to be in demand.

We also had our movie released. Well, by our movie, I mean the one where we did some extra work for it. It's called The Dilemma, and Stacie did some green screen work for an auto show scene that didn't end up making it into the film. I did some photo-double work for Vince Vaughn that did make it into the film - you can see my hand acting as Vince Vaughn's hand a few times. Our friend Heidi (who acts and models for a living) got a role in the movie where she plays a girl that gets to shoot the puck during one of the intermissions at a Chicago Blackhawks game. She's in the movie a couple of times as they cut back to her while the main characters talk.

On the set of The Dilemma

On the set of The Dilemma

So, an improved job situation, a budding modeling career and our big screen debut - all in the first few days of 2011.

Add that to some trips that we have planned with family and friends, some other ideas we have to occupy our time (vague, I know, but I don't want to bore anyone with things yet to come), and all of the good people that we are blessed to surround ourselves with and you have the makings of a pretty sweet year on your hands.

Get ready, reader(s), it's going to be a fun ride.

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week, World Series Edition: Jumping on the Bandwagon

Well, my Texas Rangers didn't quite get it done this year, but it was sure one heck of a ride. I had a lot of fun watching them play baseball this year, and they did not disappoint this fan. I didn't know if I'd ever see them in the World Series, but there they were, representing as the American League Champions, playing the San Francisco Giants.

All you can do is tip your hat to the Giants. They had some outstanding pitching performances. I do think with a couple of different decisions the Rangers could have stretched the series out another game or two and possibly even won it. But there's no doubt that the Giants were the better club in the World Series once the dust settled. So, congrats to them.

Through all of this I've experienced a phenomenon that was completely new to me. Bandwagon fans. I've never been a fan of team that was good enough to warrant any of these fans. I'm a die-hard fan and so are several of my good friends from Texas, but I know that there were a lot of people that jumped on the Rangers bandwagon. The normal reaction to bandwagon fans from die-hard fans is that of arrogant disdain.

I wouldn't be completely honest if I told you I felt none of that. I felt some, but, as I generally do, I stopped to analyze what was going on. First, why the heck are they called bandwagon fans? I assumed that the origination of the term had to do with literally getting on a wagon of some sort, and I was right. You see, the bandwagon was a wagon that would carry the band and go about the town and the countryside announcing to the people of a region that the circus was in town. Basic advertising, of course. But I don't believe anybody actually climbed onto one at this point.

In 1848, though, Dan Rice, a popular circus clown at that time (how, I don't know; clowns are creepy) used his bandwagon and popularity to announce where he would make political campaign appearances. That's right - he may have been the first clown to run for office! Probably not the last, though. Dan Rice ran for several offices including President of the United States in 1868. As his campaigns gained steam, other politicians vied for a seat on his bandwagon in an attempt to get noticed through his success. By the time, William Jennings Bryan ran for President in 1900, bandwagons were commonplace in campaigns. Unfortunately, "jumping on the bandwagon" had also become a derogatory term and referred to those who just associated themselves with success regardless of what the association meant.

When it comes to fans of a sports team the derogatory nature implies that the fan wasn't around for the tough times, but now they're showing up to latch on to the good times. Essentially, they are being called "fair-weather fans" which I think is a more fitting term. Why do die-hard fans dislike these fans so much? I asked one of our pastors that and he gave a great answer. He said it's the same reason his 3-year old son says, "Mine!" all the time. At our basic core we want to possess the success. I cheered for this team when they were awful. I took the ridicule for being a fan of a bad team. I got frustrated at the losses at the hands of the Yankees. Not you - now you want some of this success? No way, son. Step aside. It's mine.

How ridiculous is that? But it's true. Our selfish nature wants to possess that which is essentially not even possess-able.

Can you spot the bandwagon fans? Of course not, they look just like us - now if they start to talk about the team, you might get a clue.

To make it even more ridiculous, these bandwagon fans are in reality great for the team. As ratings rise, TV contracts go up so the team makes more money. As sales of team merchandise goes up, the team makes more money. As the stadium has more sellouts, the team makes more money - and the atmosphere is more electric.

All of these things will contribute to the future success of the team. The team that you will care about long after the fair-weather bandwagon-ers fade away. So, no matter what team you root for, extend an olive branch to the late-comers. Welcome them with open arms and an open mind for they will be paying for your team's success long after they get bored with sports and go back to what occupied their time before.

Come and Take It - Texas Rangers Style

The name of this blog has always been a tribute to the Texas spirit. Well, as of late, there has been a lot of Texas spirit - even up here in Chicago. I can't go anywhere without the good people of this town telling me how happy they are that the Rangers beat the Yankees, and how they're pulling for them to win the World Series.

That makes this Texas boy feel pretty good.

So, now, in honor of the Texas Rangers and in honor of the Texas spirit that says, "It's Time. If you want this thing, you're going to have to come and take it, and it ain't gonna be easy," I present a new version of the "Come and Take It" symbol.


Let's go Rangers! Claws, Antlers, World Series Trophies.

A special thanks to Stacie for the execution of my idea.

If you'd like to purchase a t-shirt with this on it like I did, well, you're in luck. Just click here.

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week: huddle. Huddle! HUDDLE!! Can't anybody hear me...?

When I first began playing full-pad tackle football, I was placed at the position of center. Why on earth they placed a 5'2" 100lb kid at center, I'll never know. Maybe they anticipated that I'd be bigger. Maybe I seemed athletic enough to play center but maybe not athletic enough to be any other offensive position.

Whatever the reason, I was there. Being the center, one of my jobs was to call the huddle. There are many different ways to huddle in football. All of the players can get in a circle. All of the players can circle around the quarterback who is kneeling down in the midst of them all. Then there was our method. We lined up in two rows of five facing the line of scrimmage. As the center I was in the middle of the front line and the huddle set on me. I would hold my hands in the air and yell, "HUDDLE!!!!" at the top of my 12-year old lungs.

Often times, since I was 12, this came out sounding like one long, embarrasing screech. "HU-uh-Uh-uh-UH-d-ul-UHL!!" It would vary between the deep voice of a young man and the squeaky voice of a pre-teen.

My teammates would laugh. I would turn red. It was a pretty regular occurence. If you know me, you're aware that I still haven't completely ridded this squeak from my voice box.

I tell you this story because the most interesting thing I learned this week is the origin of the huddle.

The earliest known use of a huddle in football was initiated by a young quarterback named Paul Hubbard around 1892. Paul Hubbard was the leader of Galludet University's first ever football team. Why did he need a huddle, though? Well, Galludet University is a school for the deaf, and Hubbard was nervous that their opponents may be able to understand sign language and would be able to steal their plays. So, his solution was to get everyone to circle around him while he signed the play.

As I was researching this for verification I learned something else about this unique school. In the 1970s they were having a lot of trouble scoring on offense. Part of the issue was that the defense knew to just watch the football and wait for it to be snapped because that is what the Galludet players were doing. Without the advantage of getting off the ball quicker than the defense, it was difficult to put up points. Coaches thought of several methods to develop a new way to send a snap count to their players including a buzzer in the hip of the football pants that would be activated by the quarterback just before the snap. Instead, one of the coaches remembered the vibration he felt at a University of Texas football game when a huge bass drum was played.

So, they started using a big drum. And to this day, the Galludet coaches wheel a drum up the sideline and bang it for the snap. When players feel the vibration, they know to go. Most of the time they go on one bang, but sometimes to fool the defense they'll go on two.

Galludet sounds like a nice place to play. At least their no one could have heard my awful squeaking.

The Saga of the Shirtless Dishwasher

When I was a young man, say about twelve years old, I was pretty scrawny. I always wanted to be taller and bigger, but I just wasn't. I started playing football around that time, and I also began to lift some weights.

It took a while for the workouts to begin to show results, but my friends and I would nonetheless do a "flex check" everyday in the mirror of the locker room to note our progress. This involved several shirtless, scrawny twelve years old straining, while begging and pleading for any ounce of muscle whatsoever to make an appearance.

As it turns out, it didn't take very long before a few muscles started to peek through. By the time I was a sophomore in high school, I wasn't so scrawny any more. I was about 6'-6'1" weighing in at a respectable 175-180 lbs. I managed to bench press about 225-230 lbs and squat 375-400 lbs. And the muscles were beginning to show.

And I liked that.

As we were growing up, my mom had also made sure we knew how to pitch in around the house. Often I would be responsible for cleaning up the kitchen after a meal. At some point in this scrawny to not-so-scrawny transition, I decided to start taking my shirt off to wash the dishes.

If ever pressed about this, it was simply to keep from getting the bottom area of my t-shirt soaked with water - which was true. But I also had another top-secret agenda in mind.

You see, I was beginning to realize that the ladies liked the muscles that were appearing, so my 15-year old brain thought, wouldn't it be awesome one day to be cooking dinner for a lady that I really liked, and then when it's time to clean up, I just rip my shirt off and exclaim, "I got this!"

Then I would proceed to wash the dishes and she would think, "Oh, man - look at those muscles washing my dishes!" There's no way that she wouldn't continue to date me - she would be helpless, you see, because not only was I washing dishes, but I was doing it as hotly as possible.

But then I could play all coy, and say, "Oh, I wasn't putting on a show or anything. That's how I've always washed dishes. Just ask anyone in my family. I first rip off the shirt and, then secondly, I wash the dishes real good."

I figured this could be my secret weapon to keep a lady I really liked around.

As it turns out, I never did get to have this moment.

However, I did meet my wife while taking out the trash with no shirt on. It just goes to show you young fellas out there - get ripped and practice your household chores. For the record, I keep my shirt on as much as possible now - perhaps I should lift some weights again and bring back the shirtless dishwasher. He was a fun guy to have around.

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week - Roulette

At the beginning of this week, I certainly did not intend to have back-to-back posts in which I referred to France. My friend Zach would be ashamed, but thankfully, he's immersed in football season, so most likely this will go unnoticed by him.

This weekend Stacie and I loaded the dogs into the car and made a trip down to Tulsa to see my bro Trait, our sis-in-law Sara and our nephew. Though most of the weekend was filled with the sound of our nephew's glee about having puppies, him wanting Uncle Ty to go outside or other silly moments that need not be discussed here, we took a little time out on Saturday night to visit a casino. We were in Indian Territory after all.

Stacie and I had never been to a casino together and only separately for work. Neither one of us have done much gambling and wanted to wait to gamble at a casino together - you know, good family time - so we were pretty giddy heading out the door.

After Stacie had some trouble with the Wheel of Fortune slots and a black jack dealer made mincemeat of me, Stacie found a game that we both could enjoy: roulette.

I didn't win anything at roulette, but I definitely was able to sit there longer than I was during my short stay at the black jack table. Stacie on the other hand, was doing pretty well. In fact, after a few rounds she pointed to the 0/00 space on the board and asked what that was. Our pit boss, Shane, explained that along with all the red and black numbers there is also a green 0 and a green 00 that can hit.

Immediately Stacie put $5 on the line between the two, betting both and declared that they should hit now.

Sure enough, double zero hit. $85 was shoveled to my baby. She ended up walking away with a brand new $100 bill. She's still grinning about it.

I decided to do some research about this newfound game we played, and it led to interesting things.

Roulette Facts:

• Roulette is French and means "little wheel"


• Roulette has been played in its present form since 1796 in Paris


• In our hemisphere there is a zero and a double zero on the wheel, but most of the rest of the world has just a single zero space.


• To "break the bank" actually refers to winning all of the money available at a roulette table. All the money at the table is taken and a black cloth covers the table until the bank is replenished. Many people, including myself until recently, think that this saying refers to taking all of the money in a bank or casino (figuratively or literally), but that's not so.


• The most well known bank breaker was Charles Wells, who broke the bank 12 times in 11 hours in Monte Carlo in 1891. At one point he hit the correct number 23 out of 30 spins. He was not cheating, he admitted later he was just a lucky scoundrel - literally. He was playing with 4,000 Pounds that he swindled from people who had invested in his bogus invention - the musical jump rope.


• Others have cheated though. While Stacie and I were at the table a man was texting on his phone and the pit boss told him that phones were not allowed at the table. I wondered how a phone could give him an advantage. As it turns out, in 2004 three men put a laser scanner and a computer program in a phone. The laser would scan the wheel as it was spinning and predict what quadrant the ball would settle into. The men would then place bets in that quadrant and did quite nicely for themselves. Now, betting is closed at most tables before the wheel begins to slow down.

There are a lot of interesting little tidbits out there about this game - betting strategies, mathematical formulas, famous cheaters, etc. It's amazing what you can learn with a little digging, and it's always nice to have a winning experience. Especially consdering that for every $1 you bet your expected winnings are negative 5.3 cents. That is, unless, of course, you are my wife.