Reviewing The Come And Blog It APOHTNFLSWPO

That's the "Annual Prediction of How The NFL Season Will Play Out" for those who don't know my achronyms.

Every year, before the first whistle blows and the first ball is sent hurtling down the field by the foot of a man who otherwise would be playing soccer, I try to tell you exactly what will happen in the NFL season so that you may place your bets appropriately* and so that you can have more time on Sundays for doing chores since you already know the outcome of the games.**

*do not under any circumstances place bets based on what I tell you on this blog
**do not under any circumstances replace watching football on Sundays with chores

Now that the season has come to a close and the Green Bay Packers are World Champs, it's time for me to review my predictions to illustrate how right I was.

For a review of this past seasons prediction column, click here.

We'll start at the top this year, as I did the post. My Super Bowl matchup consisted of the mighty San Diego Chargers vs. the equally mighty Dallas Cowboys.

They combined to win 15 games and both missed the playoffs completely. In reference to the former Charger Ladanian Tomlinson, I wrote:

"In a little ironic twist LT, now with the Jets, will have a mini-resurrection only to see the Jets fail to qualify for post season play. WHAT!?!?!?!?"

The only thing correct in that statement was the mini-resurrection.

About the Cowboys I wrote:

"I don't trust the Dallas Cowboys at all, but as I looked at the other teams in the NFC everyone seemed to have a glaring weakness."

What about the rest of the playoff field from the AFC. Well, first I picked the Patriots to win the East, writing:

"Their defense will be a little shaky, but they'll just outscore everybody with their man-model-myth quarterback, Mr. Brady."

Boy did I nail that one. I am awesome!

But then I followed that immediately with this gem:

"And you know what else...the Dolphins will even finish ahead of the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets this year."

How could I have known that a coaches desire for snacks and feet would motivate a team so?


Next I picked the Colts to make the playoffs again. I said:

"Peyton Manning only does two things: plays QB and films commercials. That's it. And he's very good at both of them."

It was struggle along the way for the Colts due to some injuries, but they got into the tournament nonetheless.

What about my homer division, The AFC North? Well - that didn't work out so well. I predicted the AFC Champion Steelers to be watching the playoffs from their super fancy sofas. And I said this about my Bungles:

"My Cincinnati Bengals make the playoffs in back to back seasons for the first time since E.T. phoned home."

Yeah, that didn't happen. I did pick the Ravens to win the division. They had a 12-4 record, but just couldn't quite get around Pittsburgh for the division title who also finished 12-4.

Maybe after the E.T. Sequel, Cincy can make the playoffs again.



As for the AFC West, I predicted that the Oakland Raiders would return to glory. I think my inaccuracy can be summed up with this line that I wrote: "Oh and the Chiefs stink..."

Well, the Chiefs didn't stink. They were awesome. The Raiders stunk. But they did go 8-8, so maybe I should've just predicted a slight increase in their ability to play football decently.

So, what about the NFC.

Well, in reference to our Super Bowl champs (who I did pick to win the NFC North - which they did not) I wrote:

"If I could trust the Green Bay Packer defense even just a little bit, I'd probably have them in the Super Bowl instead of the Cowboys."

So close to being right.

As for the rest of the North, I picked the Vikings to advance, while the others stayed at home. I actually typed these words:

"No matter what receivers are out there if you've got that line, AP and Favre on your team you should make the playoffs."

If any of you placed a bet on anything that I've written here, I truly, from the bottom of my heart, offer my apologies.

For the NFC South, I picked the Saints to win and the Falcons to be a wild card. That's almost exactly what happened but in reverse order. It's boring when I'm right, so we'll just move on.

That brings us to the NFC West where I wrote this in reference to the AZ Cardinals:

"So, they may have lost Kurt Warner, but they still have Ken Wisenhunt. They still have Larry Fitzgerald. They have Beanie Wells and Tim Hightower. They have a pretty okay kind of defense. And really all they have to do is find a way to win nine games and that should do it in the NFC West."

They went on to win 5 games - only one of which came from their division.

Awesome.

Great work there, Cardinals.

And there you have it. My annual wrap up.

And now, buried at the bottom of this piece in a sincere desire to express my opinion without losing my man-card, I want to let you all know my one hope for the 2011 NFL Season.

I hope it doesn't happen. I really do. I am rooting for a strike/lockout/work stoppage - whatever you call it.

It's not that I don't care. I do. I just need a break. The Cincinnati Bengals have the 9th worst winning percentage from teams in all 4 major American sports over the past 30 years. They've had two winning seasons since 1991 - when I was ELEVEN.

Carson Palmer is not as good as we, the fans, had hoped, but he's still better than a lot of QBs out there, and now he'd rather not play football anymore than play for this franchise.

The ownership refuses to take the steps necessary to put a winning team on the field.

I'm just tired of it all. And I need a breather. So, NFL Owners (Billionaires) and Players (Millionaires), if you could please keep disagreeing about how you're going to split up the concession sales in the fourth quarter of an inter-conference game played on a Sunday afternoon, I'd appreciate it.