Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Come and Blog It Annual Prediction of How the NFL Season Will Play Out

This year, a simple pattern has already told us who the Super Bowl Champion will be. But first a quick story.

We went to see a play this weekend with some new friends. It was called "We Live Here" and it followed the stories of eight Chicagoans as they described life in the Windy City. It was pretty fantastic, but one key phrase stuck out, possibly because it was repeated with much frequency at one point in the show.

You don't move into Chicago. Chicago moves into you.

I liked that. It's true for the most part, but I also liked it because it reminded me of something I once heard back in college at Texas A&M.

Today, you're a student at Texas A&M, but at some point it'll hit you that you're an Aggie.

I remember that moment for me. It happened early on in my college career. After several tryout sessions of varying degree, I walked up to the locker room door underneath the Kyle Field stands and saw my name listed among the nine students selected to be a part of the Fightin' Texas Aggie football team. I remember walking a little taller that day as I crossed the campus. I felt like anything was possible, and I felt that the next four years of my life were going to be pretty great. I was an Aggie after all.

But there was something else that was said in the play that stuck out to:

At first, Chicago tries to kick you out...

Ah, right. So, it does. So did Texas A&M. That first year wasn't all sunshine and football collisions as I had anticipated. A lot of it was tough. Quitting crossed my mind more than once. Not just football, either. The whole thing - quitting football, quitting a class, quitting every class and just going home.

But after that passed, after Texas A&M and/or Chicago learns that it can't kick you out. It puts its arm around you and brings you into a community that you hoped existed, but had no idea what it would really mean to you.

If I had to guess, we all have similar experiences of standing firm through tough times and being rewarded for doing so.

So, in that honor I'm going to give you my annual predictions a little differently this year. The league will be broken down into categories and each team placed in their right position. The first category is:

TOUGH TIMES AHEAD

For various reasons, the teams will struggle this year and most likely for the foreseeable future. Anything resembling a winning season should be heralded as a victory against all odds.

Cincinnati Bengals
Miami Dolphins
Oakland Raiders
Jacksonville Jaguars
Carolina Panthers
San Francisco 49ers
Washington Redskins

THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THIS TUNNEL

These teams have hope of some sort. Maybe it's not their year, but anything can happen right? There's a bounce in their steps and it will be there for a good three or four weeks before they realize that they still have some work to do before climbing that mountain. But at least they can imagine climbing it.

Buffalo Bills
Cleveland Browns
Tennessee Titans
Denver Broncos
Minnesota Vikings
Seattle Seahawks
Arizona Cardinals

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

Who knows, right? I mean, who knows? Maybe these teams have a shot at glory. Maybe, just maybe, they're on that right path and if they catch a break or two, maybe they'll even be playing in the post season. That'd be pretty cool, huh?

Houston Texans
Kansas City Chiefs
Dallas Cowboys
NY Giants
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Detroit Lions
Chicago Bears
St. Louis Rams

YOU ARE AN NFL TEAM and YOU KNOW IT

It's official. The moment happened. Maybe it was when Drew Bledsoe got hurt and Tom Brady took over for you and led you to a Super Bowl win. Maybe it was when Miami couldn't get a deal done to bring in some QB from San Diego, but you did and he led you to the promised land. Or perhaps it's always been that way - forever. At least it feels like forever. Losing is not something you do. And how could you with the ghosts of Mean Joe Greene and Terry Bradshaw and Franco Harris watching your every move? Whenever it was, something clicked. The NFL couldn't kick you out, so instead it put it's arm around and offered you glory. And you're poised to take it.

New England Patriots
Pittsburgh Steelers
Green Bay Packers
Baltimore Ravens
San Diego Chargers
New Orleans Saints
Atlanta Falcons
New York Jets
Indianapolis Colts
Philadelphia Eagles

Now for my playoff predictions. From among these 32, only 1 shall remain standing at the end. As a twist, I must pick at least one team from each group to go to the playoffs. You didn't see that coming did you!?!

AFC PLAYOFF ENTRANTS:

Oakland Raiders - many predict a step back; I boldly predict a step forward
New England Patriots - don't pick against the king until someone knocks his crown off
Pittsburgh Steelers - ugh
Baltimore Ravens - ditto the ugh
Tennessee Titans - out of nowhere to win a weakened AFC South on the legs of Chris Johnson
San Diego Chargers - holding off the Raiders just enough to take the division

NFC PLAYOFF ENTRANTS:

Philadelphia Eagles - will all of the free agent signings amount to anything? Probably a playoff berth at least
New Orleans Saints - add Mark Ingram to this mix and these guys are dangerous
Atlanta Falcons - add Julio Jones opposite Roddy White and these guys are also dangerous
Green Bay Packers - the Champs; and have a chance to do it again
St. Louis Rams - winners of the weak NFC West on the strong arm of Sam Bradford
Detroit Lions - if Stafford is healthy, why not?

SUPER BOWL PARTICIPANTS:

New England Patriots - they get back to the big game; it's not as pretty this time, but they get the job done in the AFC
Green Bay Packers - get this, math says the Green Bay Packers repeat as World Champions.

Hear me out. Let's start looking in the modern, modern era of the NFL. Anything before the release of back to the future is tough to analyze, so we'll start with the first of the modern, modern dynasties.

The following lists the year the Super Bowl was played and the winner. Can you catch the pattern?

1989 - SF
1990 - SF

skip 2 years

1993 - Dallas
1994 - Dallas

skip 3 years

1998 - Denver
1999 - Denver

skip 4 years

2004 - New England
2005 - New England

skip 5 years

2011 - Green Bay Packers
2012 - Green Bay Packers....?

So, whether we like it or not, the future has become known already. The Green Bay Packers will repeat as World Champions.

Friday, May 6, 2011

So, About That Place Called Paris...

If you needed any confirmation on whether or not I am, in fact, the worst blogger in the short but powerful history of blogging, well, this should do it.

Remember that trip Stacie and I took to Europe slightly over a year ago? Yeah. So, apparently I never finished telling that story. I thought I had written about all the days and posted all the pictures until Stacie asked me when I was going to finish blogging about our trip.

I said that I had. She said that I had not.

I had not. Naturally. So, I'm going to try and put a bow on this thing for those of you who have not passed out, or worse, from holding your breath in anticipation.

Where was I? Oh yes, Stacie and I had just had a great evening watching the sun go down behind the Eiffel Tower and rushed back to our hotel room to get out of the chilly night air.

The next morning we once again slept in a bit, but decided that today we were going to see The Louvre. But on our way to the Louvre we got distracted by shopping. It happens.

It's pretty easy to get distracted in this town, so we found ourselves wandering down streets like this:

And then, if you see a crowd gathered and looking at something interesting, well, naturally you have to join in to find out what the fuss is all about.

Then I stumbled on a pretty cool fountain when I went outside to get a Coke while Stacie was in a store trying clothes on, so I checked that out for a while.

PS - I know how to order a Coke in French. I can't do much else in French, but I've got that down.

Next we came across a place where one could eat foods from where we were (Paris), where we're from (Texas) and where we live (Chicago). I mean, c'mon.

Eventually we did, somehow, find ourselves at the Louvre. Where we took a very cultured, mature approach to the beginning of our artistic journey.

We then went inside and proceeded to rush through the place - mainly because I thought the sign said it closed at 5PM. It did say that it closed at 5PM, but not on Wednesdays - which was the day we were there. It actually closes at 9PM on Wednesdays which Stacie thought she read. And she was right. Naturally.

But we still had time to get intimate with the art.

It wasn't all silliness. We did see some great works like Venus de Milo:

The Mona Lisa:


This guy:

Then there was this guy, too:

There were even these crazy Pez dispenser sculptures:


If you've ever been to the Louvre, you know that it's huge. And before too long we were a bit lost, and I had lost a little bit of my mojo.

So, we soon made our way out of there, and proceeded to head back to the hotel where we dropped off our shopping bags and caught up on Le Juste Prix before heading out to another fun dinner in Paris.

We're getting close to the end of our journey at this point. With only two days remaining in Paris we pick up the pace a little bit and really cover some ground. I should have those posts completed by early November easy.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Bin Laden the Dead Terrorist

Not wanting to let such a momentous occasion pass without comment that is more than 140 characters, I've moved away from the limitations of Twitter to the old-timey form of blogging. So, as you've no doubt discovered by now, Osama Bin Laden was taken out by US forces in Pakistan. His body was captured, inspected I'm assuming and then buried at sea when Saudi Arabia refused the body.

Here's a few points I want to make and then I'm done with this guy forever:

  • This is excellent news for justice, and I know this helps to give further closure to the people directly impacted by his actions. So, congratulations and celebrations for that are certainly in order.
  • As a Christian, it is unsettling to me to celebrate the death of someone, even someone who represents the worst of us all, when most likely he is now separated for eternity from a God that desired a relationship with him. That's what's crazy to think about. We all deserve complete and utter separation from God - whether we are Bin Laden or Mother Theresa, and all it takes to avoid that fate is the acceptance that God loves us and offered His Son to take the punishment for every single unholy act or thought we've ever done or had. A somber celebration is in order for Christians I believe.
  • As for the credit, I believe there is plenty to go around. President Bush took the proper strategic steps from the moment our world changed in 2001. I'm not saying that everything he did was perfect, but he set the agenda for getting Bin Laden. We can debate Iraq all day long and whether that distracted us from getting Bin Laden sooner. I don't think it did - I would debate other merits of Iraq. President Obama ultimately took the right steps to finish the job in respect to Bin Laden, so he also deserves credit in this. I'm sure we'll know more about what those steps were in the coming weeks and months. Ultimately, though, the boots on the ground got the job done, and I believe they deserve 99% of the credit. They did their jobs and did them very well. We can split up the other 1% of accolades later.
  • My final note, is once again my utmost pride in the USA. Again, America is the shining City on the Hill. What other country, upon killing their most wanted enemy after a 10 year hunt, then turns around to make sure that he is buried within the window dictated by his religious beliefs. Say what you want about America, but there is no doubt in my mind that she is the greatest nation in the history of the world. Have we had our mistakes and our issues and our problems and even our complete failures in some respects? Of course. No person and no country is perfect, but moments like this just go to remind me that America's heart is always in the right place.
God Bless America!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Taxes Are Awesome! Not.

After the S&P downgraded the US debt outlook, I am now on board with taxing 100% of taxable income on the Top 1% of income earners. Wait, what's that? That would only cover $938 Billion of our $4 Trillion budget.

Okay then, the top 10% - anyone making over $114K - Uncle Sam will now take all of your taxable income. What? We're still $600 Billion short of the budget. Awesomesauce.

Maybe we should spend less money.

Here's where it has to come from to mean anything:
  • $732 Billion on Medicare, Medicaid and CHIP
  • $707 Billion on Social Security
  • $702 Billion on Defense and Security
  • $496 Billion on "Safety Net" Programs aka "giving money to people"
  • $196 Billion on interest payments
Somebody get me a hatchet and I'll get to work.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Reviewing The Come And Blog It APOHTNFLSWPO

That's the "Annual Prediction of How The NFL Season Will Play Out" for those who don't know my achronyms.

Every year, before the first whistle blows and the first ball is sent hurtling down the field by the foot of a man who otherwise would be playing soccer, I try to tell you exactly what will happen in the NFL season so that you may place your bets appropriately* and so that you can have more time on Sundays for doing chores since you already know the outcome of the games.**

*do not under any circumstances place bets based on what I tell you on this blog
**do not under any circumstances replace watching football on Sundays with chores


Now that the season has come to a close and the Green Bay Packers are World Champs, it's time for me to review my predictions to illustrate how right I was.

For a review of this past seasons prediction column, click here.

We'll start at the top this year, as I did the post. My Super Bowl matchup consisted of the mighty San Diego Chargers vs. the equally mighty Dallas Cowboys.

They combined to win 15 games and both missed the playoffs completely. In reference to the former Charger Ladanian Tomlinson, I wrote:

"In a little ironic twist LT, now with the Jets, will have a mini-resurrection only to see the Jets fail to qualify for post season play. WHAT!?!?!?!?"

The only thing correct in that statement was the mini-resurrection.

About the Cowboys I wrote:

"I don't trust the Dallas Cowboys at all, but as I looked at the other teams in the NFC everyone seemed to have a glaring weakness."

What about the rest of the playoff field from the AFC. Well, first I picked the Patriots to win the East, writing:

"Their defense will be a little shaky, but they'll just outscore everybody with their man-model-myth quarterback, Mr. Brady."

Boy did I nail that one. I am awesome!

But then I followed that immediately with this gem:

"And you know what else...the Dolphins will even finish ahead of the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets this year."

How could I have known that a coaches desire for snacks and feet would motivate a team so?


Next I picked the Colts to make the playoffs again. I said:

"Peyton Manning only does two things: plays QB and films commercials. That's it. And he's very good at both of them."

It was struggle along the way for the Colts due to some injuries, but they got into the tournament nonetheless.

What about my homer division, The AFC North? Well - that didn't work out so well. I predicted the AFC Champion Steelers to be watching the playoffs from their super fancy sofas. And I said this about my Bungles:

"My Cincinnati Bengals make the playoffs in back to back seasons for the first time since E.T. phoned home."

Yeah, that didn't happen. I did pick the Ravens to win the division. They had a 12-4 record, but just couldn't quite get around Pittsburgh for the division title who also finished 12-4.

Maybe after the E.T. Sequel, Cincy can make the playoffs again.



As for the AFC West, I predicted that the Oakland Raiders would return to glory. I think my inaccuracy can be summed up with this line that I wrote: "Oh and the Chiefs stink..."

Well, the Chiefs didn't stink. They were awesome. The Raiders stunk. But they did go 8-8, so maybe I should've just predicted a slight increase in their ability to play football decently.

So, what about the NFC.

Well, in reference to our Super Bowl champs (who I did pick to win the NFC North - which they did not) I wrote:

"If I could trust the Green Bay Packer defense even just a little bit, I'd probably have them in the Super Bowl instead of the Cowboys."

So close to being right.

As for the rest of the North, I picked the Vikings to advance, while the others stayed at home. I actually typed these words:

"No matter what receivers are out there if you've got that line, AP and Favre on your team you should make the playoffs."

If any of you placed a bet on anything that I've written here, I truly, from the bottom of my heart, offer my apologies.

For the NFC South, I picked the Saints to win and the Falcons to be a wild card. That's almost exactly what happened but in reverse order. It's boring when I'm right, so we'll just move on.

That brings us to the NFC West where I wrote this in reference to the AZ Cardinals:

"So, they may have lost Kurt Warner, but they still have Ken Wisenhunt. They still have Larry Fitzgerald. They have Beanie Wells and Tim Hightower. They have a pretty okay kind of defense. And really all they have to do is find a way to win nine games and that should do it in the NFC West."

They went on to win 5 games - only one of which came from their division.

Awesome.

Great work there, Cardinals.

And there you have it. My annual wrap up.

And now, buried at the bottom of this piece in a sincere desire to express my opinion without losing my man-card, I want to let you all know my one hope for the 2011 NFL Season.

I hope it doesn't happen. I really do. I am rooting for a strike/lockout/work stoppage - whatever you call it.

It's not that I don't care. I do. I just need a break. The Cincinnati Bengals have the 9th worst winning percentage from teams in all 4 major American sports over the past 30 years. They've had two winning seasons since 1991 - when I was ELEVEN.

Carson Palmer is not as good as we, the fans, had hoped, but he's still better than a lot of QBs out there, and now he'd rather not play football anymore than play for this franchise.

The ownership refuses to take the steps necessary to put a winning team on the field.

I'm just tired of it all. And I need a breather. So, NFL Owners (Billionaires) and Players (Millionaires), if you could please keep disagreeing about how you're going to split up the concession sales in the fourth quarter of an inter-conference game played on a Sunday afternoon, I'd appreciate it.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

two Zero one One

So it begins. Another year, another journey around the sun on this beautiful, round piece of rock. I don't generally make much of starting a new lap, but something about this year has me feeling eagerly expectant which has caught me off-guard to tell you the truth. I mean, come on. It's 2011. It's not 2020 or 2010 or 2050 or some nice round number. No one from sci-fi movies in the 50's traveled to the year 2011 to explore the future. No one making movies in the year 3010 will set their movies in 2011. Just trust me on that one.

So, when I felt myself anticipating the onset of 2011 and the desire to see 2010 fade into the rearview, I took myself by surprise. And after 18 days of 2011, I have to say, the year is beginning to deliver.

I started this year having no idea what my job would look like. Well, that's not entirely true. Over the course wrapping up 2010 I determined that it could take on one of three forms:
  • No job
  • Job with way more accounts to call on, a lot more traveling and less dollars to manage
  • Job with way less accounts to call on, but more dollars to manage, still plenty of traveling, but all of the traveling is within a couple of states
Once 2010 came and went and some people that weren't me had been let go, I eliminated the first option. I never really felt in danger of that, but you never know these days.

Then a couple of days into 2010, I received an organizational announcement that listed all of the new people that would be doing the job in that second bullet point. I was not on the list. So, I eliminated that as a possibility, and came to the conclusion that option 3 was where I was going to be.

And this is great news! It's where I wanted to be, and I felt it was the right step for my career. It was all made official at a sales meeting we had to discuss the transitions about a week ago. My job is essentially the same, but the responsibilities are a little different and there's a lot more at stake - which I love. So, good job on that 2011.

2011 also saw Stacie get a pretty sweet modeling gig down in Kansas City. She just auditioned for it a couple of weeks ago and did the shoot yesterday. She had a blast, and got a nice role in the production. Not to mention, another company called her agent out of the blue asking if they could use her, but their shoot was the same day as her shoot in KC so she couldn't do it. But, still, it's nice to be in demand.

We also had our movie released. Well, by our movie, I mean the one where we did some extra work for it. It's called The Dilemma, and Stacie did some green screen work for an auto show scene that didn't end up making it into the film. I did some photo-double work for Vince Vaughn that did make it into the film - you can see my hand acting as Vince Vaughn's hand a few times. Our friend Heidi (who acts and models for a living) got a role in the movie where she plays a girl that gets to shoot the puck during one of the intermissions at a Chicago Blackhawks game. She's in the movie a couple of times as they cut back to her while the main characters talk.

On the set of The Dilemma

On the set of The Dilemma

So, an improved job situation, a budding modeling career and our big screen debut - all in the first few days of 2011.

Add that to some trips that we have planned with family and friends, some other ideas we have to occupy our time (vague, I know, but I don't want to bore anyone with things yet to come), and all of the good people that we are blessed to surround ourselves with and you have the makings of a pretty sweet year on your hands.

Get ready, reader(s), it's going to be a fun ride.