Dear Cincinnati Bengals

Dear Bengals,

Please win today. It's been 20 years since the last time you won a playoff game, and fans like me sure could use a little love. I can't even remember that last playoff win. You see, I was 9 and had been a fan for about a year and a half. There's so many things that have happened since that playoff win against the Houston Oilers...I had to look that up. Because I can't remember it.

But I do remember:

• Not having the Internet. I got my first email address sometime in 1997. Seven years after your last playoff win.

• The last episode of the Cosby Show. In 1992.

• The day President Bill Clinton was elected. In 1992.

• Making the varsity tennis team as a freshman. In 1995.

• Mistakenly being put on the JV team as a sophomore. In 1996.

• The first Gulf War. Just after that playoff victory.

• The dissolving of the Soviet Union. In 1991. (I thought that happened after Rocky IV came out, but apparently not.)

• The first time I watched Dumb and Dumber...laughed till I cried. In 1996.

• Rodney King. 1992.

• Michael Jordan's first retirement. In 1993.

• And his second retirement. In 1998.

• The first girl I kissed. In 1991. (Don't worry mom, it was on a dare at a birthday party. Pretty much the scariest moment of my young life. And awesome.)

• O.J. Simpson and the white Bronco. In 1994.

• Watching Point Break in the 6th grade and thinking it was the most awesome movie I had ever seen. In 1992.

• The Oklahoma City bombing in 1995.

• Getting ejected from a basketball game and having my chemistry teacher yell down the hall, "Get off me!", repeating pre-ejection words shouted by me just prior to a massive shove of an opponent. In 1996.

• The movie Titanic. In 1997.

• Scoring my first touchdown in high school. In 1997. (Stripped the football from a dude. Took it 92 yards to the house. Breathed heavily for a half hour.)

• Columbine. In 1999.

• Learning all the words to U Can't Touch This. 1991-1993...I'm not much of a rapper.

• 9-11. In '01, obviously.

• My first Aggie Bonfire. In 1998.

• Bonfire falls. In 1999.

• Walking on to the Fightin' Texas Aggie Football team and winning the Big XII Championship. In 1998.

• Bush '43 getting elected. In '00.

• Meeting my wife. In '00.

• Our first date. In '01.

• She says yes. In '03.

• We get married. In '04.

• Our 5th wedding anniversary. In '09.

Bengals, please don't make me have a sixth wedding anniversary without your next playoff victory occurring. Please, go out there today and get the job done. Beat the Jets. And believe me, I'll remember this one in 20 years.

But if you don't. If you should go out onto that field today, give your all and fail, I will still be that crazy Texan who is a Bengals fan. I'll still be that guy who must explain the story of how I became a Bengal loyalist to every stranger who asks me if I'm a Dallas fan or a Houston fan. I'll do that for you.

Can you do this for me?

XOXOXO,

Crazy Texan Bengals Fan
Since 1988