Please win today. It's been 20 years since the last time you won a playoff game, and fans like me sure could use a little love. I can't even remember that last playoff win. You see, I was 9 and had been a fan for about a year and a half. There's so many things that have happened since that playoff win against the Houston Oilers...I had to look that up. Because I can't remember it.
But I do remember:
- Not having the Internet. I got my first email address sometime in 1997. Seven years after your last playoff win.
- The last episode of the Cosby Show. In 1992.
- The day President Bill Clinton was elected. In 1992.
- Making the varsity tennis team as a freshman. In 1995.
- Mistakenly being put on the JV team as a sophomore. In 1996.
- The first Gulf War. Just after that playoff victory.
- The dissolving of the Soviet Union. In 1991. (I thought that happened after Rocky IV came out, but apparently not.)
- The first time I watched Dumb and Dumber...laughed till I cried. In 1996.
- Rodney King. 1992.
- Michael Jordan's first retirement. In 1993.
- And his second retirement. In 1998.
- The first girl I kissed. In 1991. (Don't worry mom, it was on a dare at a birthday party. Pretty much the scariest moment of my young life. And awesome.)
- O.J. Simpson and the white Bronco. In 1994.
- Watching Point Break in the 6th grade and thinking it was the most awesome movie I had ever seen. In 1992.
- The Oklahoma City bombing in 1995.
- Getting ejected from a basketball game and having my chemistry teacher yell down the hall, "Get off me!", repeating pre-ejection words shouted by me just prior to a massive shove of an opponent. In 1996.
- The movie Titanic. In 1997.
- Scoring my first touchdown in high school. In 1997. (Stripped the football from a dude. Took it 92 yards to the house. Breathed heavily for a half hour.)
- Columbine. In 1999.
- Learning all the words to U Can't Touch This. 1991-1993...I'm not much of a rapper.
- 9-11. In '01, obviously.
- My first Aggie Bonfire. In 1998.
- Bonfire falls. In 1999.
- Walking on to the Fightin' Texas Aggie Football team and winning the Big XII Championship. In 1998.
- Bush '43 getting elected. In '00.
- Meeting my wife. In '00.
- Our first date. In '01.
- She says yes. In '03.
- We get married. In '04.
- Our 5th wedding anniversary. In '09.
But if you don't. If you should go out onto that field today, give your all and fail, I will still be that crazy Texan who is a Bengals fan. I'll still be that guy who must explain the story of how I became a Bengal loyalist to every stranger who asks me if I'm a Dallas fan or a Houston fan. I'll do that for you.
Can you do this for me?
XOXOXO,
Crazy Texan Bengals Fan
Since 1988
