Joe the Plumber

I haven’t written much of anything about politics during this emotionally charged political season, and I feel like that has a lot to do with the fact that I’m not impressed by either candidate. Now, I have certain fundamental beliefs which are more represented by one candidate than the other, but at the end of the day I ask myself, "Really, America. This is the best we could come up with?"

So, why am I writing today? Well, they brought one of my own in to the mix. That’s why I felt the need to inject my thoughts into this campaign.

You see, there are many times when I go out in my super stylish 7 jeans or my awesome Buffalo jeans with a cool Jedidiah t-shirt. But inevitably while I’m out something happens.

I flash a little crack.

It used to bother me, but that was until I realized something.

I am ¼ plumber.

Being one quarter plumber is not to be confused with PCS (premature crack syndrome). I have a friend with PCS and it is a serious, often untreatable condition that causes the crack to start a little higher than it should and leads to crack exposure at an above average rate.

That’s not my issue at all. My grandpa on my Dad's side was a plumber. Plus my dad taught me the only two things you have to know to be a plumber: Sh%t flows downhill and payday's Friday. Therefore I’m ¼ plumber. I can’t help but show off the goods every now and then. I’m also ½ roughneck, but that’s for another post.

So, being one quarter plumber, it is my duty as a Plumber-American to comment about my brother Joe’s unusual rise to stardom and subsequent attacking over this past week.

First, for those of you hidden under a giant rock, Joe the Plumber met Barack Obama on the campaign trail and essentially said, "I’m a plumber. I want to buy the plumbing business that I work for, but if I do that it puts me into your category that you’re going to tax at a higher rate making it harder for me to be successful. Why are you going to do this?" Obviously this is not word for word, so here’s the link to the clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baIFocVnJpc

Notice that Obama says at the end of the clip:

"When you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody."

Joe the Plumber has not said who he is voting for, but the attempts to tarnish this man’s character are everywhere. In fact, just this morning the Chicago Tribune website’s main page had a link that read:

"Joe the Plumber’s Story Has Some Cracks."

Perhaps some headline writer just couldn’t resist the chance to print that lead and had to dig up some dirt on this man (I can’t fully blame them for that), but it seems this man is being taken to task to discredit him. That’s fine. If Joe the Plumber isn’t all he’s "cracked" up to be, I think it’s okay if we get to the bottom of that.

There's also stories out about how he isn't a licensed plumber, owes back taxes, couldn't make $250,000 in a year selling toliets made of solid gold and now SNL is going to do a skit this weekend about how Joe the Plumber is actually John McCain's made-up invisible friend (that's kinda funny).

But the real story here should not be Joe. I don’t care if Joe was a Republican plant who really makes $10 Gazillion a year and had to look plumber up in the dictionary to find out what a plumber actually does, and I also wouldn't care if he was on the cover of Plumbing and Mechanical Magazine (the dream of every plumber, my grandad was on it twice, the first time in the latter part of '36).

The real story should be that Barack Obama’s policies align more closely with Marxism and Communism than they do capitalism. This is not the first time Obama has let on that he prefers a more "fair" socialist system, but this is the most publicized.

Like, Joe the Plumber, my vote is between me and the ballot box, but if you know anything about me and you read this piece you probably have an idea which way I’m leaning. I don’t point these things out about Obama to get everyone to vote for John McCain. As I stated in the beginning I’m not so crazy in love with Johnny Mac either. And I think both men will have a tough row to hoe (or pipe to snake, to keep my references in sync) come inauguration time, and I’d be surprised to see either one of them make it to a second term.

I point this out because I want as many people as possible to understand that Obama believes in some economic policies that are scary to me. I believe that if you work hard for something you deserve to keep it. America is the land of opportunity even in her worst economic moments. If you work hard, save more and spend less, you'll find yourself in a great economic situation in no time.

If you believe that our country would be better off with a more Marxist form of economic policy, then Obama is your man. But if captialism is your bag baby, well, John McCain will have to do for now. Until 2012 when my man Joe the Plumber "cracks" his way into the race.

I’m sorry. I can’t help myself.