Dear Craig,

I don’t really know how to start this letter. You know how I feel about you, and that’s what makes this so hard. You recently caught me in an act to which I have no defense. My actions cannot be excused. Nevertheless, I feel the need to explain myself to you in the hopes that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

As men, we often have to hide the way we truly feel about each other. But there’s a place that we can go to where we can freely express ourselves. We don’t have to worry about the judging eyes of society. You and I have been to this place together often. But you caught me sharing that experience with another man recently. And the way I was caught…such an impersonal way for you to find out. I knew that there were cameras there, but I had no idea that he and I would be filmed and then have it broadcast right into your home…I am almost as distressed about how you found out as I am at the fact that you found out. You should have heard this from me.

What hurts the most is to think back to the many times we had done this and how much each time meant to me. I remember the time we drove all the way to Arizona together. If I remember correctly, it happened three times in less than 24 hours out there. One of those times we were outside on the grass.

Then there was the time we were really high. We just decided to do it on a whim, overcome with the emotions of saying goodbye to one of our favorite people who had to move to Milwaukee.
And of course, there was that last time. Right before I moved to Chicago. It meant so much to me. And I know it did to you, too.

Sadly, this is not the first time I did this with another. I feel I must be completely honest with you. Jaime and I have been doing this together for years. This is probably not so surprising to you since several times the three of us did it together. I thought once we’d be caught for sure when Jaime ended up on the Internet. Somehow I was cropped out of the picture, thankfully. I know for a fact that you and Jaime have done it without me, too. But that does not excuse what happened the other night.

I guess my only shallow defense is that it’s hard to be in a new place and not have anyone to do it with. So, when my old roommate came to Chicago we just got caught up in the excitement. The opportunity presented itself, and I knew he would be into it, so we went for it. This is probably what you saw:

I hope someday that we can put this behind us and watch another Rangers game together, expressing ourselves freely as men to each other in the Ballpark. We should invite Jaime, too. And let’s not sit so high next time. It’s too hard to see. But if we go back to Spring Training we can totally sit in the outfield grass again.

If it helps, I was thinking of you the whole time.

Hopefully yours,

T-Y