Come and Blog It

So I Get On the Elevator This Morning

2012-02-11T11:52:00.003-06:00

I'm followed by a man. A woman gets on before me.

“Floor 7, please.”

She presses the button. She’s so tiny I’m almost surprised she can reach it.

“6 please,” says the man who follows me in. I watch the man as he struggles to look comfortable. He’s carrying a soft briefcase in his right hand. His left hand holds one strap of a back pack on his left shoulder. He shuffles about, nervously, and I think maybe he’s going to a job interview. Then I notice he’s wearing jeans. They’re nice, but they’re still jeans.

Just then he abruptly steps to the back center of the elevator and turns to his left, leaning on the back wall of the elevator. He’s now facing the woman, but he’s looking down. Maybe he’s looking at her – she is pretty short – but it appears that he’s just nervously looking at the ground. He is carrying two bags. Maybe he’s up to something nefarious.

The elevator opens on the 4^th floor. The woman gets out, and the man immediately moves to the front of the elevator as the doors close.

Then he begins to wipe his hand up and down between the elevator buttons as though he’s cleaning them. He does this only for a moment as though he suddenly realizes that he’s being very strange. He wanders back to the back left corner of the elevator, avoiding eye contact with me as I’ve given up on pretending to not notice his strangeness.

We arrive at the 6^th floor. The doors open. He exits. As he goes, I almost tell him to have a nice day, but think better of it as I’m not sure what “nice” might mean to this nervous, two-bag carrying man.

As the doors close, I immediately realize the cause of his strange behavior. It envelopes me like a thick fog rolling off of Lake Michigan. I gasp for air, but air, clean crisp air, wants no part of this elevator car. I feel like the trip from floor 6 to floor 7 takes days. I’m on my knees pawing at the doors, begging them to open. When they finally do, I fall out onto the 7^th floor, tears of relief and pain intertwining as they wind their way down my cheeks to the old hardwood floor.

The doors close behind me, but the cloud has only partially gone with it. I fear that it will cling to me for the remainder of the day, attacking all who come near me. But as I walk down the hall I realize that it is slowly being left in my wake. I say a quick prayer for the next passenger to get on Car 4. They know not what awaits them.

I know that every time I step on an elevator from this day forward, I will not fear falling. I will not fear death. I will fear the entrapment of the Dutch Oven.

Come and Blog It Annual Prediction of How the NFL Season Will Play Out

2011-09-06T14:59:00.004-05:00

This year, a simple pattern has already told us who the Super Bowl Champion will be. But first a quick story.

We went to see a play this weekend with some new friends. It was called "We Live Here" and it followed the stories of eight Chicagoans as they described life in the Windy City. It was pretty fantastic, but one key phrase stuck out, possibly because it was repeated with much frequency at one point in the show.

You don't move into Chicago. Chicago moves into you.

I liked that. It's true for the most part, but I also liked it because it reminded me of something I once heard back in college at Texas A&M.

Today, you're a student at Texas A&M, but at some point it'll hit you that you're an Aggie.

I remember that moment for me. It happened early on in my college career. After several tryout sessions of varying degree, I walked up to the locker room door underneath the Kyle Field stands and saw my name listed among the nine students selected to be a part of the Fightin' Texas Aggie football team. I remember walking a little taller that day as I crossed the campus. I felt like anything was possible, and I felt that the next four years of my life were going to be pretty great. I was an Aggie after all.

But there was something else that was said in the play that stuck out to:

At first, Chicago tries to kick you out...

Ah, right. So, it does. So did Texas A&M. That first year wasn't all sunshine and football collisions as I had anticipated. A lot of it was tough. Quitting crossed my mind more than once. Not just football, either. The whole thing - quitting football, quitting a class, quitting every class and just going home.

But after that passed, after Texas A&M and/or Chicago learns that it can't kick you out. It puts its arm around you and brings you into a community that you hoped existed, but had no idea what it would really mean to you.

If I had to guess, we all have similar experiences of standing firm through tough times and being rewarded for doing so.

So, in that honor I'm going to give you my annual predictions a little differently this year. The league will be broken down into categories and each team placed in their right position. The first category is:

TOUGH TIMES AHEAD

For various reasons, the teams will struggle this year and most likely for the foreseeable future. Anything resembling a winning season should be heralded as a victory against all odds.

Cincinnati Bengals
Miami Dolphins
Oakland Raiders
Jacksonville Jaguars
Carolina Panthers
San Francisco 49ers
Washington Redskins

THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THIS TUNNEL

These teams have hope of some sort. Maybe it's not their year, but anything can happen right? There's a bounce in their steps and it will be there for a good three or four weeks before they realize that they still have some work to do before climbing that mountain. But at least they can imagine climbing it.

Buffalo Bills
Cleveland Browns
Tennessee Titans
Denver Broncos
Minnesota Vikings
Seattle Seahawks
Arizona Cardinals

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

Who knows, right? I mean, who knows? Maybe these teams have a shot at glory. Maybe, just maybe, they're on that right path and if they catch a break or two, maybe they'll even be playing in the post season. That'd be pretty cool, huh?

Houston Texans
Kansas City Chiefs
Dallas Cowboys
NY Giants
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Detroit Lions
Chicago Bears
St. Louis Rams

YOU ARE AN NFL TEAM and YOU KNOW IT

It's official. The moment happened. Maybe it was when Drew Bledsoe got hurt and Tom Brady took over for you and led you to a Super Bowl win. Maybe it was when Miami couldn't get a deal done to bring in some QB from San Diego, but you did and he led you to the promised land. Or perhaps it's always been that way - forever. At least it feels like forever. Losing is not something you do. And how could you with the ghosts of Mean Joe Greene and Terry Bradshaw and Franco Harris watching your every move? Whenever it was, something clicked. The NFL couldn't kick you out, so instead it put it's arm around and offered you glory. And you're poised to take it.

New England Patriots
Pittsburgh Steelers
Green Bay Packers
Baltimore Ravens
San Diego Chargers
New Orleans Saints
Atlanta Falcons
New York Jets
Indianapolis Colts
Philadelphia Eagles

Now for my playoff predictions. From among these 32, only 1 shall remain standing at the end. As a twist, I must pick at least one team from each group to go to the playoffs. You didn't see that coming did you!?!

AFC PLAYOFF ENTRANTS:

Oakland Raiders - many predict a step back; I boldly predict a step forward
New England Patriots - don't pick against the king until someone knocks his crown off
Pittsburgh Steelers - ugh
Baltimore Ravens - ditto the ugh
Tennessee Titans - out of nowhere to win a weakened AFC South on the legs of Chris Johnson
San Diego Chargers - holding off the Raiders just enough to take the division

NFC PLAYOFF ENTRANTS:

Philadelphia Eagles - will all of the free agent signings amount to anything? Probably a playoff berth at least
New Orleans Saints - add Mark Ingram to this mix and these guys are dangerous
Atlanta Falcons - add Julio Jones opposite Roddy White and these guys are also dangerous
Green Bay Packers - the Champs; and have a chance to do it again
St. Louis Rams - winners of the weak NFC West on the strong arm of Sam Bradford
Detroit Lions - if Stafford is healthy, why not?

SUPER BOWL PARTICIPANTS:

New England Patriots - they get back to the big game; it's not as pretty this time, but they get the job done in the AFC
Green Bay Packers - get this, math says the Green Bay Packers repeat as World Champions.

Hear me out. Let's start looking in the modern, modern era of the NFL. Anything before the release of back to the future is tough to analyze, so we'll start with the first of the modern, modern dynasties.

The following lists the year the Super Bowl was played and the winner. Can you catch the pattern?

1989 - SF
1990 - SF

skip 2 years

1993 - Dallas
1994 - Dallas

skip 3 years

1998 - Denver
1999 - Denver

skip 4 years

2004 - New England
2005 - New England

skip 5 years

2011 - Green Bay Packers
2012 - Green Bay Packers....?

So, whether we like it or not, the future has become known already. The Green Bay Packers will repeat as World Champions.

So, About That Place Called Paris...

2011-05-06T13:12:00.015-05:00

If you needed any confirmation on whether or not I am, in fact, the worst blogger in the short but powerful history of blogging, well, this should do it.

Remember that trip Stacie and I took to Europe slightly over a year ago? Yeah. So, apparently I never finished telling that story. I thought I had written about all the days and posted all the pictures until Stacie asked me when I was going to finish blogging about our trip.

I said that I had. She said that I had not.

I had not. Naturally. So, I'm going to try and put a bow on this thing for those of you who have not passed out, or worse, from holding your breath in anticipation.

Where was I? Oh yes, Stacie and I had just had a great evening watching the sun go down behind the Eiffel Tower and rushed back to our hotel room to get out of the chilly night air.

The next morning we once again slept in a bit, but decided that today we were going to see The Louvre. But on our way to the Louvre we got distracted by shopping. It happens.

It's pretty easy to get distracted in this town, so we found ourselves wandering down streets like this:

And then, if you see a crowd gathered and looking at something interesting, well, naturally you have to join in to find out what the fuss is all about.

Then I stumbled on a pretty cool fountain when I went outside to get a Coke while Stacie was in a store trying clothes on, so I checked that out for a while.

PS - I know how to order a Coke in French. I can't do much else in French, but I've got that down.

Next we came across a place where one could eat foods from where we were (Paris), where we're from (Texas) and where we live (Chicago). I mean, c'mon.

Eventually we did, somehow, find ourselves at the Louvre. Where we took a very cultured, mature approach to the beginning of our artistic journey.

We then went inside and proceeded to rush through the place - mainly because I thought the sign said it closed at 5PM. It did say that it closed at 5PM, but not on Wednesdays - which was the day we were there. It actually closes at 9PM on Wednesdays which Stacie thought she read. And she was right. Naturally.

But we still had time to get intimate with the art.

It wasn't all silliness. We did see some great works like Venus de Milo:

The Mona Lisa:

This guy:

Then there was this guy, too:

There were even these crazy Pez dispenser sculptures:

If you've ever been to the Louvre, you know that it's huge. And before too long we were a bit lost, and I had lost a little bit of my mojo.

So, we soon made our way out of there, and proceeded to head back to the hotel where we dropped off our shopping bags and caught up on Le Juste Prix before heading out to another fun dinner in Paris.

We're getting close to the end of our journey at this point. With only two days remaining in Paris we pick up the pace a little bit and really cover some ground. I should have those posts completed by early November easy.

Bin Laden the Dead Terrorist

2011-05-02T10:27:00.002-05:00

Not wanting to let such a momentous occasion pass without comment that is more than 140 characters, I've moved away from the limitations of Twitter to the old-timey form of blogging. So, as you've no doubt discovered by now, Osama Bin Laden was taken out by US forces in Pakistan. His body was captured, inspected I'm assuming and then buried at sea when Saudi Arabia refused the body.

Here's a few points I want to make and then I'm done with this guy forever:

This is excellent news for justice, and I know this helps to give further closure to the people directly impacted by his actions. So, congratulations and celebrations for that are certainly in order.
As a Christian, it is unsettling to me to celebrate the death of someone, even someone who represents the worst of us all, when most likely he is now separated for eternity from a God that desired a relationship with him. That's what's crazy to think about. We all deserve complete and utter separation from God - whether we are Bin Laden or Mother Theresa, and all it takes to avoid that fate is the acceptance that God loves us and offered His Son to take the punishment for every single unholy act or thought we've ever done or had. A somber celebration is in order for Christians I believe.
As for the credit, I believe there is plenty to go around. President Bush took the proper strategic steps from the moment our world changed in 2001. I'm not saying that everything he did was perfect, but he set the agenda for getting Bin Laden. We can debate Iraq all day long and whether that distracted us from getting Bin Laden sooner. I don't think it did - I would debate other merits of Iraq. President Obama ultimately took the right steps to finish the job in respect to Bin Laden, so he also deserves credit in this. I'm sure we'll know more about what those steps were in the coming weeks and months. Ultimately, though, the boots on the ground got the job done, and I believe they deserve 99% of the credit. They did their jobs and did them very well. We can split up the other 1% of accolades later.
My final note, is once again my utmost pride in the USA. Again, America is the shining City on the Hill. What other country, upon killing their most wanted enemy after a 10 year hunt, then turns around to make sure that he is buried within the window dictated by his religious beliefs. Say what you want about America, but there is no doubt in my mind that she is the greatest nation in the history of the world. Have we had our mistakes and our issues and our problems and even our complete failures in some respects? Of course. No person and no country is perfect, but moments like this just go to remind me that America's heart is always in the right place.

God Bless America!

Taxes Are Awesome! Not.

2011-04-19T12:45:00.003-05:00

After the S&P downgraded the US debt outlook, I am now on board with taxing 100% of taxable income on the Top 1% of income earners. Wait, what's that? That would only cover $938 Billion of our $4 Trillion budget.

Okay then, the top 10% - anyone making over $114K - Uncle Sam will now take all of your taxable income. What? We're still $600 Billion short of the budget. Awesomesauce.

Maybe we should spend less money.

Here's where it has to come from to mean anything:

$732 Billion on Medicare, Medicaid and CHIP
$707 Billion on Social Security
$702 Billion on Defense and Security
$496 Billion on "Safety Net" Programs aka "giving money to people"
$196 Billion on interest payments

Somebody get me a hatchet and I'll get to work.

Reviewing The Come And Blog It APOHTNFLSWPO

2011-02-25T15:38:00.004-06:00

That's the "Annual Prediction of How The NFL Season Will Play Out" for those who don't know my achronyms.

Every year, before the first whistle blows and the first ball is sent hurtling down the field by the foot of a man who otherwise would be playing soccer, I try to tell you exactly what will happen in the NFL season so that you may place your bets appropriately* and so that you can have more time on Sundays for doing chores since you already know the outcome of the games.**

*do not under any circumstances place bets based on what I tell you on this blog
**do not under any circumstances replace watching football on Sundays with chores

Now that the season has come to a close and the Green Bay Packers are World Champs, it's time for me to review my predictions to illustrate how right I was.

For a review of this past seasons prediction column, click here.

We'll start at the top this year, as I did the post. My Super Bowl matchup consisted of the mighty San Diego Chargers vs. the equally mighty Dallas Cowboys.

They combined to win 15 games and both missed the playoffs completely. In reference to the former Charger Ladanian Tomlinson, I wrote:

"In a little ironic twist LT, now with the Jets, will have a mini-resurrection only to see the Jets fail to qualify for post season play. WHAT!?!?!?!?"

The only thing correct in that statement was the mini-resurrection.

About the Cowboys I wrote:

"I don't trust the Dallas Cowboys at all, but as I looked at the other teams in the NFC everyone seemed to have a glaring weakness."

What about the rest of the playoff field from the AFC. Well, first I picked the Patriots to win the East, writing:

"Their defense will be a little shaky, but they'll just outscore everybody with their man-model-myth quarterback, Mr. Brady."

Boy did I nail that one. I am awesome!

But then I followed that immediately with this gem:

"And you know what else...the Dolphins will even finish ahead of the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets this year."

How could I have known that a coaches desire for snacks and feet would motivate a team so?

Next I picked the Colts to make the playoffs again. I said:

"Peyton Manning only does two things: plays QB and films commercials. That's it. And he's very good at both of them."

It was struggle along the way for the Colts due to some injuries, but they got into the tournament nonetheless.

What about my homer division, The AFC North? Well - that didn't work out so well. I predicted the AFC Champion Steelers to be watching the playoffs from their super fancy sofas. And I said this about my Bungles:

"My Cincinnati Bengals make the playoffs in back to back seasons for the first time since E.T. phoned home."

Yeah, that didn't happen. I did pick the Ravens to win the division. They had a 12-4 record, but just couldn't quite get around Pittsburgh for the division title who also finished 12-4.

Maybe after the E.T. Sequel, Cincy can make the playoffs again.

As for the AFC West, I predicted that the Oakland Raiders would return to glory. I think my inaccuracy can be summed up with this line that I wrote: "Oh and the Chiefs stink..."

Well, the Chiefs didn't stink. They were awesome. The Raiders stunk. But they did go 8-8, so maybe I should've just predicted a slight increase in their ability to play football decently.

So, what about the NFC.

Well, in reference to our Super Bowl champs (who I did pick to win the NFC North - which they did not) I wrote:

"If I could trust the Green Bay Packer defense even just a little bit, I'd probably have them in the Super Bowl instead of the Cowboys."

So close to being right.

As for the rest of the North, I picked the Vikings to advance, while the others stayed at home. I actually typed these words:

"No matter what receivers are out there if you've got that line, AP and Favre on your team you should make the playoffs."

If any of you placed a bet on anything that I've written here, I truly, from the bottom of my heart, offer my apologies.

For the NFC South, I picked the Saints to win and the Falcons to be a wild card. That's almost exactly what happened but in reverse order. It's boring when I'm right, so we'll just move on.

That brings us to the NFC West where I wrote this in reference to the AZ Cardinals:

"So, they may have lost Kurt Warner, but they still have Ken Wisenhunt. They still have Larry Fitzgerald. They have Beanie Wells and Tim Hightower. They have a pretty okay kind of defense. And really all they have to do is find a way to win nine games and that should do it in the NFC West."

They went on to win 5 games - only one of which came from their division.

Awesome.

Great work there, Cardinals.

And there you have it. My annual wrap up.

And now, buried at the bottom of this piece in a sincere desire to express my opinion without losing my man-card, I want to let you all know my one hope for the 2011 NFL Season.

I hope it doesn't happen. I really do. I am rooting for a strike/lockout/work stoppage - whatever you call it.

It's not that I don't care. I do. I just need a break. The Cincinnati Bengals have the 9th worst winning percentage from teams in all 4 major American sports over the past 30 years. They've had two winning seasons since 1991 - when I was ELEVEN.

Carson Palmer is not as good as we, the fans, had hoped, but he's still better than a lot of QBs out there, and now he'd rather not play football anymore than play for this franchise.

The ownership refuses to take the steps necessary to put a winning team on the field.

I'm just tired of it all. And I need a breather. So, NFL Owners (Billionaires) and Players (Millionaires), if you could please keep disagreeing about how you're going to split up the concession sales in the fourth quarter of an inter-conference game played on a Sunday afternoon, I'd appreciate it.

two Zero one One

2011-01-19T11:24:00.004-06:00

So it begins. Another year, another journey around the sun on this beautiful, round piece of rock. I don't generally make much of starting a new lap, but something about this year has me feeling eagerly expectant which has caught me off-guard to tell you the truth. I mean, come on. It's 2011. It's not 2020 or 2010 or 2050 or some nice round number. No one from sci-fi movies in the 50's traveled to the year 2011 to explore the future. No one making movies in the year 3010 will set their movies in 2011. Just trust me on that one.

So, when I felt myself anticipating the onset of 2011 and the desire to see 2010 fade into the rearview, I took myself by surprise. And after 18 days of 2011, I have to say, the year is beginning to deliver.

I started this year having no idea what my job would look like. Well, that's not entirely true. Over the course wrapping up 2010 I determined that it could take on one of three forms:

No job
Job with way more accounts to call on, a lot more traveling and less dollars to manage
Job with way less accounts to call on, but more dollars to manage, still plenty of traveling, but all of the traveling is within a couple of states

Once 2010 came and went and some people that weren't me had been let go, I eliminated the first option. I never really felt in danger of that, but you never know these days.

Then a couple of days into 2010, I received an organizational announcement that listed all of the new people that would be doing the job in that second bullet point. I was not on the list. So, I eliminated that as a possibility, and came to the conclusion that option 3 was where I was going to be.

And this is great news! It's where I wanted to be, and I felt it was the right step for my career. It was all made official at a sales meeting we had to discuss the transitions about a week ago. My job is essentially the same, but the responsibilities are a little different and there's a lot more at stake - which I love. So, good job on that 2011.

2011 also saw Stacie get a pretty sweet modeling gig down in Kansas City. She just auditioned for it a couple of weeks ago and did the shoot yesterday. She had a blast, and got a nice role in the production. Not to mention, another company called her agent out of the blue asking if they could use her, but their shoot was the same day as her shoot in KC so she couldn't do it. But, still, it's nice to be in demand.

We also had our movie released. Well, by our movie, I mean the one where we did some extra work for it. It's called The Dilemma, and Stacie did some green screen work for an auto show scene that didn't end up making it into the film. I did some photo-double work for Vince Vaughn that did make it into the film - you can see my hand acting as Vince Vaughn's hand a few times. Our friend Heidi (who acts and models for a living) got a role in the movie where she plays a girl that gets to shoot the puck during one of the intermissions at a Chicago Blackhawks game. She's in the movie a couple of times as they cut back to her while the main characters talk.

On the set of The Dilemma

So, an improved job situation, a budding modeling career and our big screen debut - all in the first few days of 2011.

Add that to some trips that we have planned with family and friends, some other ideas we have to occupy our time (vague, I know, but I don't want to bore anyone with things yet to come), and all of the good people that we are blessed to surround ourselves with and you have the makings of a pretty sweet year on your hands.

Get ready, reader(s), it's going to be a fun ride.

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week, World Series Edition: Jumping on the Bandwagon

2010-11-04T17:22:00.004-05:00

Well, my Texas Rangers didn't quite get it done this year, but it was sure one heck of a ride. I had a lot of fun watching them play baseball this year, and they did not disappoint this fan. I didn't know if I'd ever see them in the World Series, but there they were, representing as the American League Champions, playing the San Francisco Giants.

All you can do is tip your hat to the Giants. They had some outstanding pitching performances. I do think with a couple of different decisions the Rangers could have stretched the series out another game or two and possibly even won it. But there's no doubt that the Giants were the better club in the World Series once the dust settled. So, congrats to them.

Through all of this I've experienced a phenomenon that was completely new to me. Bandwagon fans. I've never been a fan of team that was good enough to warrant any of these fans. I'm a die-hard fan and so are several of my good friends from Texas, but I know that there were a lot of people that jumped on the Rangers bandwagon. The normal reaction to bandwagon fans from die-hard fans is that of arrogant disdain.

I wouldn't be completely honest if I told you I felt none of that. I felt some, but, as I generally do, I stopped to analyze what was going on. First, why the heck are they called bandwagon fans? I assumed that the origination of the term had to do with literally getting on a wagon of some sort, and I was right. You see, the bandwagon was a wagon that would carry the band and go about the town and the countryside announcing to the people of a region that the circus was in town. Basic advertising, of course. But I don't believe anybody actually climbed onto one at this point.

In 1848, though, Dan Rice, a popular circus clown at that time (how, I don't know; clowns are creepy) used his bandwagon and popularity to announce where he would make political campaign appearances. That's right - he may have been the first clown to run for office! Probably not the last, though. Dan Rice ran for several offices including President of the United States in 1868. As his campaigns gained steam, other politicians vied for a seat on his bandwagon in an attempt to get noticed through his success. By the time, William Jennings Bryan ran for President in 1900, bandwagons were commonplace in campaigns. Unfortunately, "jumping on the bandwagon" had also become a derogatory term and referred to those who just associated themselves with success regardless of what the association meant.

When it comes to fans of a sports team the derogatory nature implies that the fan wasn't around for the tough times, but now they're showing up to latch on to the good times. Essentially, they are being called "fair-weather fans" which I think is a more fitting term. Why do die-hard fans dislike these fans so much? I asked one of our pastors that and he gave a great answer. He said it's the same reason his 3-year old son says, "Mine!" all the time. At our basic core we want to possess the success. I cheered for this team when they were awful. I took the ridicule for being a fan of a bad team. I got frustrated at the losses at the hands of the Yankees. Not you - now you want some of this success? No way, son. Step aside. It's mine.

How ridiculous is that? But it's true. Our selfish nature wants to possess that which is essentially not even possess-able.

Can you spot the bandwagon fans? Of course not, they look just like us - now if they start to talk about the team, you might get a clue.

To make it even more ridiculous, these bandwagon fans are in reality great for the team. As ratings rise, TV contracts go up so the team makes more money. As sales of team merchandise goes up, the team makes more money. As the stadium has more sellouts, the team makes more money - and the atmosphere is more electric.

All of these things will contribute to the future success of the team. The team that you will care about long after the fair-weather bandwagon-ers fade away. So, no matter what team you root for, extend an olive branch to the late-comers. Welcome them with open arms and an open mind for they will be paying for your team's success long after they get bored with sports and go back to what occupied their time before.

Come and Take It - Texas Rangers Style

2010-10-26T11:56:00.007-05:00

The name of this blog has always been a tribute to the Texas spirit. Well, as of late, there has been a lot of Texas spirit - even up here in Chicago. I can't go anywhere without the good people of this town telling me how happy they are that the Rangers beat the Yankees, and how they're pulling for them to win the World Series.

That makes this Texas boy feel pretty good.

So, now, in honor of the Texas Rangers and in honor of the Texas spirit that says, "It's Time. If you want this thing, you're going to have to come and take it, and it ain't gonna be easy," I present a new version of the "Come and Take It" symbol.

Let's go Rangers! Claws, Antlers, World Series Trophies.

A special thanks to Stacie for the execution of my idea.

If you'd like to purchase a t-shirt with this on it like I did, well, you're in luck. Just click here.

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week: huddle. Huddle! HUDDLE!! Can't anybody hear me...?

2010-10-16T16:37:00.004-05:00

When I first began playing full-pad tackle football, I was placed at the position of center. Why on earth they placed a 5'2" 100lb kid at center, I'll never know. Maybe they anticipated that I'd be bigger. Maybe I seemed athletic enough to play center but maybe not athletic enough to be any other offensive position.

Whatever the reason, I was there. Being the center, one of my jobs was to call the huddle. There are many different ways to huddle in football. All of the players can get in a circle. All of the players can circle around the quarterback who is kneeling down in the midst of them all. Then there was our method. We lined up in two rows of five facing the line of scrimmage. As the center I was in the middle of the front line and the huddle set on me. I would hold my hands in the air and yell, "HUDDLE!!!!" at the top of my 12-year old lungs.

Often times, since I was 12, this came out sounding like one long, embarrasing screech. "HU-uh-Uh-uh-UH-d-ul-UHL!!" It would vary between the deep voice of a young man and the squeaky voice of a pre-teen.

My teammates would laugh. I would turn red. It was a pretty regular occurence. If you know me, you're aware that I still haven't completely ridded this squeak from my voice box.

I tell you this story because the most interesting thing I learned this week is the origin of the huddle.

The earliest known use of a huddle in football was initiated by a young quarterback named Paul Hubbard around 1892. Paul Hubbard was the leader of Galludet University's first ever football team. Why did he need a huddle, though? Well, Galludet University is a school for the deaf, and Hubbard was nervous that their opponents may be able to understand sign language and would be able to steal their plays. So, his solution was to get everyone to circle around him while he signed the play.

As I was researching this for verification I learned something else about this unique school. In the 1970s they were having a lot of trouble scoring on offense. Part of the issue was that the defense knew to just watch the football and wait for it to be snapped because that is what the Galludet players were doing. Without the advantage of getting off the ball quicker than the defense, it was difficult to put up points. Coaches thought of several methods to develop a new way to send a snap count to their players including a buzzer in the hip of the football pants that would be activated by the quarterback just before the snap. Instead, one of the coaches remembered the vibration he felt at a University of Texas football game when a huge bass drum was played.

So, they started using a big drum. And to this day, the Galludet coaches wheel a drum up the sideline and bang it for the snap. When players feel the vibration, they know to go. Most of the time they go on one bang, but sometimes to fool the defense they'll go on two.

Galludet sounds like a nice place to play. At least their no one could have heard my awful squeaking.

The Saga of the Shirtless Dishwasher

2010-09-20T10:53:00.004-05:00

When I was a young man, say about twelve years old, I was pretty scrawny. I always wanted to be taller and bigger, but I just wasn't. I started playing football around that time, and I also began to lift some weights.

It took a while for the workouts to begin to show results, but my friends and I would nonetheless do a "flex check" everyday in the mirror of the locker room to note our progress. This involved several shirtless, scrawny twelve years old straining, while begging and pleading for any ounce of muscle whatsoever to make an appearance.

As it turns out, it didn't take very long before a few muscles started to peek through. By the time I was a sophomore in high school, I wasn't so scrawny any more. I was about 6'-6'1" weighing in at a respectable 175-180 lbs. I managed to bench press about 225-230 lbs and squat 375-400 lbs. And the muscles were beginning to show.

And I liked that.

As we were growing up, my mom had also made sure we knew how to pitch in around the house. Often I would be responsible for cleaning up the kitchen after a meal. At some point in this scrawny to not-so-scrawny transition, I decided to start taking my shirt off to wash the dishes.

If ever pressed about this, it was simply to keep from getting the bottom area of my t-shirt soaked with water - which was true. But I also had another top-secret agenda in mind.

You see, I was beginning to realize that the ladies liked the muscles that were appearing, so my 15-year old brain thought, wouldn't it be awesome one day to be cooking dinner for a lady that I really liked, and then when it's time to clean up, I just rip my shirt off and exclaim, "I got this!"

Then I would proceed to wash the dishes and she would think, "Oh, man - look at those muscles washing my dishes!" There's no way that she wouldn't continue to date me - she would be helpless, you see, because not only was I washing dishes, but I was doing it as hotly as possible.

But then I could play all coy, and say, "Oh, I wasn't putting on a show or anything. That's how I've always washed dishes. Just ask anyone in my family. I first rip off the shirt and, then secondly, I wash the dishes real good."

I figured this could be my secret weapon to keep a lady I really liked around.

As it turns out, I never did get to have this moment.

However, I did meet my wife while taking out the trash with no shirt on. It just goes to show you young fellas out there - get ripped and practice your household chores. For the record, I keep my shirt on as much as possible now - perhaps I should lift some weights again and bring back the shirtless dishwasher. He was a fun guy to have around.

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week - Roulette

2010-09-13T21:05:00.006-05:00

At the beginning of this week, I certainly did not intend to have back-to-back posts in which I referred to France. My friend Zach would be ashamed, but thankfully, he's immersed in football season, so most likely this will go unnoticed by him.

This weekend Stacie and I loaded the dogs into the car and made a trip down to Tulsa to see my bro Trait, our sis-in-law Sara and our nephew. Though most of the weekend was filled with the sound of our nephew's glee about having puppies, him wanting Uncle Ty to go outside or other silly moments that need not be discussed here, we took a little time out on Saturday night to visit a casino. We were in Indian Territory after all.

Stacie and I had never been to a casino together and only separately for work. Neither one of us have done much gambling and wanted to wait to gamble at a casino together - you know, good family time - so we were pretty giddy heading out the door.

After Stacie had some trouble with the Wheel of Fortune slots and a black jack dealer made mincemeat of me, Stacie found a game that we both could enjoy: roulette.

I didn't win anything at roulette, but I definitely was able to sit there longer than I was during my short stay at the black jack table. Stacie on the other hand, was doing pretty well. In fact, after a few rounds she pointed to the 0/00 space on the board and asked what that was. Our pit boss, Shane, explained that along with all the red and black numbers there is also a green 0 and a green 00 that can hit.

Immediately Stacie put $5 on the line between the two, betting both and declared that they should hit now.

Sure enough, double zero hit. $85 was shoveled to my baby. She ended up walking away with a brand new $100 bill. She's still grinning about it.

I decided to do some research about this newfound game we played, and it led to interesting things.

Roulette Facts:

Roulette is French and means "little wheel"

Roulette has been played in its present form since 1796 in Paris

In our hemisphere there is a zero and a double zero on the wheel, but most of the rest of the world has just a single zero space.

To "break the bank" actually refers to winning all of the money available at a roulette table. All the money at the table is taken and a black cloth covers the table until the bank is replenished. Many people, including myself until recently, think that this saying refers to taking all of the money in a bank or casino (figuratively or literally), but that's not so.

The most well known bank breaker was Charles Wells, who broke the bank 12 times in 11 hours in Monte Carlo in 1891. At one point he hit the correct number 23 out of 30 spins. He was not cheating, he admitted later he was just a lucky scoundrel - literally. He was playing with 4,000 Pounds that he swindled from people who had invested in his bogus invention - the musical jump rope.

Others have cheated though. While Stacie and I were at the table a man was texting on his phone and the pit boss told him that phones were not allowed at the table. I wondered how a phone could give him an advantage. As it turns out, in 2004 three men put a laser scanner and a computer program in a phone. The laser would scan the wheel as it was spinning and predict what quadrant the ball would settle into. The men would then place bets in that quadrant and did quite nicely for themselves. Now, betting is closed at most tables before the wheel begins to slow down.

There are a lot of interesting little tidbits out there about this game - betting strategies, mathematical formulas, famous cheaters, etc. It's amazing what you can learn with a little digging, and it's always nice to have a winning experience. Especially consdering that for every $1 you bet your expected winnings are negative 5.3 cents. That is, unless, of course, you are my wife.

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week: Bikinis are the Bomb - Literally

2010-09-07T15:29:00.007-05:00

Let me start by saying two things:

1) I did not post on Monday per my usual weekly TMITILTW programming because it was a holiday and it kind of didn't feel like Monday and I had a fantasy football draft and Stacie & I completely demolished our closet and put it back together again. But, fear not! I have not forgotten to come bring you completely random, mostly useless information. How else will you wow your friends this week?

AND

2) I learned several things interesting this week - wholesome things such as the lyric in America the Beautiful that says "thine alabaster cities gleam" was written because Katherine Lee Bates had just visited the great White City that was the 1893 World's Exposition here in Chicago. But in researching for confirmation of this I stumbled upon something that I felt was took the cake for this coveted weekly installment.

The Bikini. Capitalized. That's correct - when it was first called the bikini it was capitalized because it was named for the Bikini Atoll. The Bikini Atoll consists of 23 islands as part of the Micronesian Islands of the Pacific Ocean.

Believe it or not, the islands were not named as such because the natives pranced around in the latest two-piece swimwear. No, rather the controversial two-piece swimwear was introduced and named for these islands. I'm sure you've heard that before, but why were these islands deemed worthy of having a fancy new swimsuit named for them?

The reason? These Bikini Islands were the site of several nuclear device tests by the United States, the first of which was on July 1st, 1946. Bob Hope said of the Bikini Island nuclear tests:

"As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell."

Operation Crossroads Explosion at Bikini

Just shortly after the first nuclear test, Louis Reard's self-proclaimed "world's smallest swimsuit" debuted in Paris. He called it the Bikini because he anticipated that the reaction upon seeing one would be the same as if one saw a nuclear explosion. His design was not worn quite as frequently as other competing models due to the lack of modesty in design (he insisted that to truly be a Bikini, it must be able to be pulled through a wedding ring.) Nevertheless, the name stuck - even for slightly more modest attire.

PS - I have no idea how I got from America the Beautiful to the bikini, but my weird journey is your crazy gain.

Come and Blog It Annual Prediction of How the NFL Season Will Play Out

2010-09-03T12:25:00.020-05:00

I stepped outside today and was immediately struck by two things - one was little Reesie Bear scampering out the door and hitting me in the leg on her way to the bathroom and the second was that I was saying "holy smoke it's chilly out here!" Of course, just as Reese dawdled about with no intentions of peeing until the last minute, as she always does, the cold air is merely a reminder to me that summer will slowly take it's time before giving way to the next season: football season.

It will be in the 90s again next week, but nevertheless, with most of the preseason games completed and a cool blast of air to my face, I feel that it is time to once again present you with:

The Come and Blog It Annual Prediction of How the NFL Season Will Play Out*

*brought to you by Carl's Jr.**

**not actually brought to you by Carl's Jr. - I just saw Idiocracy on TV, so it felt right to say that

Before we begin, I'd like to remind you that I did pretty well last year. That only led to a rather dull critique of my work. So, in an effort to keep my posts lively, I'll try not to be so accurate this year. In fact, we may go about this a little differently this year, so hold on tight. And now for the predictions:

AFC:

BAM! See what I did there. I just hit you with a bolt of lightning to your face that says the San Diego Chargers will win the AFC Championship this year. I started you right at the top. But why the Chargers. Well, I went to San Diego last year and had a really good time, but couldn't help but feel a little melancholy because ol' Ladanian Tomlinson was really struggling and getting old. I'm sure the whole town felt that way and those bad vibes held the Chargers back from their full potential. Now, the Chargers are free to embrace their destiny and once again compete for El Trophy de Lombardi.

In a little ironic twist LT, now with the Jets, will have a mini-resurrection only to see the Jets fail to qualify for post season play. WHAT!?!?!?!?

Did I just say that? The hot pick for all the "experts" this year and the man-crush of the moment Rex Ryan will miss the playoffs? Yep. So, just who do the Chargers vanquish to reach the ultimate reality show, then, if not the Jets?

From the AFC EAST:

Those pesky New England Patriots! The team that, much like the Black Knight, just won't go away, refuses to go away once more. Their defense will be a little shaky, but they'll just outscore everybody with their man-model-myth quarterback, Mr. Brady. And you know what else...the Dolphins will even finish ahead of the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets this year. You know why? Me neither, but I just don't trust the Jets - they have a sophomore QB, an angry star CB, and a whole lot of folks telling them how good they are. To me, that's a bad combination. As far as the other team in this division goes, I think the Bills will be better but they still have a ways to go before they are a playoff team. They're on the right track with that CJ Spiller kid though.

From the AFC SOUTH:

Another pesky team that won't go away, the Indianapolis Colts. Notice what this team and the Pats have in common. Very, very good quarterback play. Peyton Manning only does two things: plays QB and films commercials. That's it. And he's very good at both of them. Sometimes I think about specializing like that, but then I get distracted by a funny blog. Some people out there think the Texans are finally going to turn the corner this year and make the playoffs, but I just don't know. I really want them to for all of my Houston friends and for my home state, but I still don't trust them to finish the job. They do have a fantastic QB though, so maybe they'll get it done. But not in this prediction list.

From the AFC NORTH:

I don't want to put this team here - I really, really don't. But even I, the biggest of Bengals homers, cannot deny how good the Baltimore Ravens may be this year. Good QB, good WRs, decent defense though it doesn't quite live up to "experts" descriptions in my opinion, and then there's that Ray Rice fella. Man, is he good or what?

But wait, there's more from here! That's right! My Cincinnati Bengals make the playoffs in back to back seasons for the first time since E.T. phoned home. I'm not just going to blow smoke up your skirt here, let's talk facts: 4th ranked defense last year that is returning pretty much everybody, offensive additions of Jermaine Gresham, Jordan Shipley and the T.O. fella. Here's what needs to happen - protect the QB, reduce penalties and keep two diva receivers very happy. If the Bungles can manage those three simple things I see another playoff berth in their future.

From the AFC WEST:

We already have the Chargers in from the West, but we obviously need one more team to round out our predictions. That team must come from the West since we've been through all the other divisions...who might it be?

BOOM! You did not see that coming did you!?!?!? The Raiders of Oakland in the playoffs by the slimmest of margins. Why the Raiders you ask? Defense, defense, defense. Also finally some stability at coach and a QB that isn't literally the worst QB since Babe Laufenberg. But let's get serious. The real reason I pick the Raiders is because I recently learned that for a few days before they began their first season ever they were the Oakland Senors. Oh, man, that's amazing - and apparently their logo had a sweet mustache, but I can't find any verification of that despite my desperation for it to be so. Oh and the Chiefs stink and the Broncos will look good for about 7 weeks and tank down the stretch.

NFC:
bam.

Okay, so I'm not super excited about this pick. I don't trust the Dallas Cowboys at all, but as I looked at the other teams in the NFC everyone seemed to have a glaring weakness. The 'Boys have a weakness, it's just not glaring. Oh well, let's just say this years big game will be what Super Bowl XXIX should have been had the Cowboys not had five turnovers in the NFC Championship Game loss to the 49ers. And this just got juicier since I have breaking news that Patrick Crayton has been traded to....the CHARGERS! A Super Bowl revenge game for him. Interesting.

I also realize I just picked the Cowboys to play the first "home field" Super Bowl. That's pretty hard to do, but it's just the type of thing that will infuriate the Cowboys-haters to the max pissivity. It's a word. Ask Ochocinco.

So, who might the Cowboys have to go through in the post-season tournament?

From the NFC NORTH:

These guys. That's who. If I could trust the Green Bay Packer defense even just a little bit, I'd probably have them in the Super Bowl instead of the Cowboys. But if ifs and buts were candy and nuts we'd all have a merry Christmas, too. So instead I say the Pack short losing to the Cowboys in a shoot out, final score 73-42.

Then there's these Minnesota Vikings. Now that Brett "will he, won't he" Favre has decided he will, this team is legit again. No matter what receivers are out there if you've got that line, AP and Favre on your team you should make the playoffs. Plus their defense is pretty good, too. I see an early exit this time as Favre's magic genie dies of old age and is no longer able to create his secret youth potion - the secret is you still look old, but you play like a teenager and never get hurt. In a twist of irony Favre throws one last deal-sealing interception in the playoffs and blows out his shoulder punching the ground. He's then forced to retire on the PUP list after 285 consecutive starts.

From the NFC EAST:

Nobody else. That's right - none. No Eagles. No Giants. No Redskins. Not because they aren't good teams, though. No. I just think this division will beat itself senseless. Only one can emerge from this type of throw-down. The Eagles will be alright. The Giants will be right with them. The Redskins will be bad, but tough. The end.

From the NFC WEST:

The mean little birds rise again! I know everyone is picking the 49ers. They're the hot girl that everyone wants to go to the dance with, but you know what? She ain't going to the dance - certainly not with you. Nope, she's going to some college party with some college guy. She's not showing up at your little high school party - lame-o!. And everyone's going to be sad that she's not there, even her. Because she's not going to have any fun with the college guy once her friends go to the Attic with fake i.d.s and find out the college guy is cheating on her with some blond. Then she'll realize she never should've ditched Zack Morris and should've just stayed with the high school crowd.

I'm sorry. I've lost my train of thought.

football.

right.

Okay, so the Arizona Cardinals. So, they may have lost Kurt Warner, but they still have Ken Wisenhunt. They still have Larry Fitzgerald. They have Beanie Wells and Tim Hightower. They have a pretty okay kind of defense. And really all they have to do is find a way to win nine games and that should do it in the NFC West. Just like the Cardinals burned me for years before finally winning this division, I will not pick the Niners prematurely. They are not ready. Yet.

The Rams have a good kid at QB, but they still have some big steps to take and I think the Seahawks under Pete Carroll will be a disaster.

From the NFC SOUTH:

Mr. Brees and his New Orleans Saints. This is a solid football team with a solid coach and a solid QB. I can't pick them to go to the Super Bowl again because I just don't think they have repeat talent defensively. But I was this close to picking them to go again. I just held my fingers really close together when I typed that.

I also think the Atlanta Falcons will bounce back from last year's tough season. Michael Turner will be healthy and that will help the passing game. Plus I think the Panthers won't win too many games and neither will the Bucs, so while the NFC East beats up on itself, I think the South will be just the opposite. And I need Michael Turner to have a good year if my fantasy team is going anywhere. C'mon, Falcons!

So there you have it. The 2010 NFL Season the way I see it. You should take these picks to Vegas based on how it worked out for me last year.*

*please don't take these picks to Vegas. It will most likely be one of the worst decisions you make.

Bonjour et Bonsoir

2010-08-28T11:20:00.034-05:00

On day two in Paris, Stacie and I slept in a bit. We did stay up until after midnight despite getting up around 3AM the day before. So we hit the streets at about 11AM. The first thing we did was grab some coffee. The second thing we did was grab another crepe from our new favorite place.

Hello, new friend.

After that our goal for the day was to go see the famous Pere Lachaise cemetery where the likes of Oscar Wilde, Jim Morrison and Frederic Chopin are buried, among others. It was a nice little train ride to get there, and it turned out to be a huge, amazingly beautiful place.

Random Graves

Stacie checking out Oscar Wilde's grave

Up-close of Wilde's grave - a lotta post life kisses for that man

Jim Morrison's grave

Ferederic Chopin's grave

After visting Pere Lachaise, we decided to make our way by train to la Basilique du Sacre Coeur, another famous cathedral in Paris. We were told from Pere Lachaise to take the blue line to the Blanche stop because that would put you out right by the Moulin Rouge. And it literally did. This is the first thing you see when you pop out from the subway:

Right around the corner from here is a place called Cafe le deux Moulins where it was recommended that we grab a bite to eat. So, we went inside and quickly realized that we were in an over priced touristy joint. Our desire to get up and leave gave way to our hunger and it's desire to sit for a bit, though so we stayed. But I'd recommend going somewhere else.

Next we had to walk up a massive hill to get to the Sacre Coeur. I did not realize this was the case until about half way up the hill at which point I had removed my jacket and was half way to just getting completely naked to cool off. It was a hike.

This really doesn't do the walk justice but it was really steep. I promise. I am not a wuss. You shut up.

There are actually two windmills at the top of this hill. Thus all the deux moulins stuff. Here is one of them.

Le Can Can at the top of Le Hill Hill

Our first glimpse of the great cathedral.

La Basilique du Sacre Coeur

The view back towards downtown Paris. Once again, this doesn't do the view justice.

Tons of people around, but we were still nervous about attempting too much French, so we took a pic of ourselves. :)

After visiting the Sacre Coeur, we decided our next stop would be the Eiffel Tower. We wanted to sit at her feet and watch the sun set while her lights came on. So, we trained back as close as we could get and began to walk.

This is really the only picture from the walk, but it's very French as you can see.

Along the way to the tower, we stopped into a wine shop and purchased a bottle of wine. Having no glasses, we asked if we might buy a couple of those off of the gentleman as well, and he obliged. Starting to feel hungry once again from all of the walking, we also stopped into a bread shop and got a delicious little loaf of bread and then in a little grocery store for some fruit. Then it was just a bit farther, and we found the perfect little spot to watch the sun go down and enjoy our feast.

Bonsoir

The Setting Sun of Paris

Stacie wanting to wear the Eiffel Tower like a hat.

We found some American's who were kind enough to take several pictures of us until we got the lighting right.

Not one to make the evening simply about relaxing, Stacie hustled this man for two of his mini Eiffel Towers for less than the price of one and then took his picture against his will. It was fun to watch.

We began to get pretty cold after the sun went down, so we packed up and started walking for the nearest train - which as it turns out wasn't that near. Along the way, Stacie got some great pictures of the Eiffel Tower.

I love the detail on this one. It's like you can see every piece of metal.

This was a bridge over the Seine as we walked to the train.

Finally! The warmth of a train station!

See how happy and content I am now. Stacie was, too.

Another great day in Paris. I was really starting to like this little town.

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week: Expounding on Nikola Tesla

2010-08-28T10:53:00.004-05:00

The two or three of you that have been visiting Come and Blog It for some time now may know that I have always had a fascination with Nikola Tesla and his amazing inventions. Not only was he creating things that we still use today, but he was way ahead of his time doing most of his work in the late 1800s and early 1900s.

Nikola Tesla at about age 40

Most of the time the most interesting thing I learn in a week I just come across by chance, but part of writing about something interesting on a weekly basis may mean you have to go digging for just the right piece of info. I don't want to pull from things I've learned in the past - to me that would be cheating. I want to learn at least one new interesting thing every week. This week was a pretty busy work week that seemed to gobble up all of my attention and not produce anything to interesting, so I decided to think about what I found interesting. That led me to do a little digging on Tesla. There is way too much information on this man to list it all so if you want a quick overview of his life, check the video at the bottom of this post.

So, what fancy new info did I learn about Tesla this week? Glad you asked.

First, Tesla theorized in the late 1800s that he could send sound AND images from one place to another without wires. Think about that - he was theorizing that he could essentially send a Youtube video from one place to another without wires. Before 1900. It was in 1900 in Paris when the first public exhibition of a movie with sound took place. Now I'm sort of kidding when I say he was thinking about movies - but essentially he was saying he could transmit more than just sound, such as with radio, over the airwaves. This blew people's minds (since transmitting sound was still extremely new) and is about when people started calling him insane. Yet here I am sending images and sound to you without wires.

And secondly, I knew that he was building a tower on Long Island that would test his theories of transmitting over long distances, but I always thought he just ran out of money. What actually happened is that he had a silent partner financing the project - J.P. Morgan. He also had a secret plan. He believed that his tower at some point would be able to send wireless electricity to the world for free. Upon discovery of the secret plan, Morgan pulled the plug and kept Tesla from getting any other investors. Morgan was not about to give out electricity unless he could charge for it. The tower was never built and was dismantled for scrap in World War I.Tesla did some truly amazing things - and his mind was strange and worked in ways we don't understand. Yet, for all he did, most of us think of Ben Franklin or Thomas Edison when we think of electricity. The truth is that Tesla is the reason we have a world that is lit up as it is today.

For more info on an interesting man check out this video:

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week: My Grandmother Wore Combat Boots

2010-08-23T22:31:00.006-05:00

This week started out pretty slowly as far as interesting things go, but towards the end of the week things really picked up. I learned some interesting facts about Chicago while watching a video at Navy Pier - yes I was at Navy Pier this week. Why was I at Navy Pier you ask? Good question. My mom and her sister, my Aunt Molly, came to visit Stacie and I towards the end of the week. Navy Pier was one of the destinations they wanted to check out, so we made it happen.

I also learned - from my aunt - that kids are using ring tones in classrooms that teachers can't hear. They're called mosquito ring tones. Click on the link and try it out. I could hear it to a certain point, but not all of them. I know they were producing a sound, though, because my cute black lab, Bradie, was trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. As it says in the article, the sound was originally developed to repel teens. Shopkeepers would pump the tones in front of their stores to prevent loitering while leaving adult patrons none the worse for wear.

But the most interesting thing that I learned this week has to be that my grandmother, Loais Williams (Loais Ball at the time), worked at a Consolidated Aircraft Company plant outside of Fort Worth, TX, wiring B-24 Liberators for our involvement in World War II. I always knew she studied to become a nurse with the Navy, but as it turns out prior to that she was wiring B-24's to make money to go to nursing school. She was able to get into a nursing program that was paid for due to a nurses shortage as it turns out, but the fact that she was doing that to make money is pretty awesome.

I can't even wire a toaster, and there she was wiring up a bomber.

I found the picture below on a Navy archive site. This is the facility in Ft. Worth that my grandmother worked at, so it's very possible she worked in this very building getting these babies ready to go.

The WWII generation was just in a class all by themselves. They got their hands dirty, and they got stuff done to keep their country safe and hopefully make a better life for their children and grandchildren. And for that I say thank you - particularly to my grandmother. Who probably didn't wear combat boots, but it would have been super cool if she had.

A Future Where I Could See Paris in the Spring

2010-08-18T19:47:00.023-05:00

We grabbed the train from London to Paris bright and early on Monday morning. Well, it was early. Not so bright. We took the 5.30AM train. I tried my best to stay awake for the entire trip, and I was doing well until we went into the Chunnel. It was dark. I had my iPod on. And I woke up in Paris.

Our first stop in Paris

Me struggling to get bags off the train - I was still sleepy I think.

The first stop was our hotel, but that wasn't very far from our second stop - Notre Dame.

We really just stumbled upon Notre Dame - I mean we knew it was there, but we didn't really plan on going here right off the bat. We were headed somewhere, just not here. But we figured since we practically tripped over it, we should at least go inside and take a look around.

Inside Notre Dame - a forbidden picture - except everyone was taking pictures.

Cool picture from outside Notre Dame

After a visit to the cathedral, we continued on our way to what was our true destination for this, our first day in Paris.

Crossing the Seine.

Now, we've found ourselves at the Louvre. We knew the Louvre was close to where we were headed, but once again it was not our final destination. In fact, we didn't even go inside of the museum on this, our first day in Paris, but we had to take some pictures.

Courtyard of The Louvre

Hanging out by The Louvre

Stacie at The Louvre

Now we've finally reached our original destination! On our first day in Paris.

That's right! There's an Apple Store beneath the Louvre! Why are we at the Apple Store you ask...? Well, we may or may not have had a little mishap with the foreign electricity and may or may not have fried Stacie's power cord for her computer. So, for the next 3 hours, we waited for someone to confirm what we already new and get us a new power cord - a more Euro-friendly version this time.

After our time in the Apple Store, we headed back to the river. We had heard that a great thing to do right when you get to Paris (after you purchase a new power cord, of course) is to take a river boat tour through the city.

Our boating company of choice.

We didn't really have any info on particular boat tours so we just headed to Pont Neuf and got in line for one. We were not disappointed. It was a beautiful day and the ride through the city really helped us to get our bearings.

Cool bridge

My first brush with Tour Eiffel

I liked to take pictures of the French flag waving when we came across them. This was the first one we saw.

Lots of barely dressed men sunbathing. This seemed pretty European to me.

After our boat trip, we headed back towards our hotel as we were pretty exhausted for the day. On our way we stopped in what we thought was a little garden in the 6th Arr. As we would later discover Jardin du Luxembourg is pretty large actually. We strolled in here, sat down and began to people watch. I pulled out our book on how to speak French in hopes to try and gain some bit of confidence in my ability to tell someone that I had no idea how to speak French. As I read, Stacie napped and soaked up some sun. It was a really nice afternoon.

Jardin du Luxembourg

After relaxing in the garden for a bit, we headed back to the hotel for a little nap before dinner. Dinner time happens pretty late in Paris which actually worked well for us because we eat pretty late at home a lot of the time. After watching Le Juste Prix, and immediately becoming hooked on the show, we eventually pried ourselves off the bed and headed out for dinner. We really just wandered until we found something interesting. We came across this great little outdoor cafe where we had a waiter named Jean-Pierre. How perfect is that for the first French person we actually met?

We had a nice time dining there and talking to Jean-Pierre. He praised Stacie for her wonderful French and insisted that I should keep practicing. However by the end of the evening I did manage to squeeze out, "Vous etes tres gentil." That means "you are very nice."

After a long, relaxing dinner we decided to just wander the streets of Paris. After a bit we came upon this fantastic creperie which would pretty much become our home base for breakfast.

Around the corner from the creperie, we stumbled upon a movie theater. It was 11PM, and a show was just beginning. So, we bought a ticket and sat down to watch Alice and hoped our French would be good enough to get us through.

As it turned out, the entire thing was in English with French subtitles. I still give us an A+ for going out on a limb and trying to watch a movie in a foreign country.

After the movie, these two weary travelers made our way back to our hotel and fell fast asleep until about 10 the next morning. What a great first day in The City of Lights!

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week: Meet Chip Taylor

2010-08-16T21:24:00.009-05:00

I'm willing to bet only a few of you have ever heard of Chip Taylor. But I'm also willing to bet that every one of you has heard at least one song written by Chip Taylor. Chip Taylor has written and performed many songs, and I've had the pleasure of watching him play live at The Granada Theater in Dallas, Texas. But the one song of his that I'm certain you know is "Wild Thing."

That's right. Wild Thing. Da da. Da da da. You make my heart sing. You make everything...groovy.

He also wrote "Angel of the Morning" made famous by several artists, most recently a version of it by Shaggy.

Chip Taylor - The Wild Thing himself

Something I came across this week that I wasn't aware of before is that Chip Taylor is just a stage name. His real name is James Wesley Voight, and he is the brother of Jon Voight - the actor not the previous owner of George Costanza's car.

By being Jon Voight's brother that also makes him Angelina Jolie's uncle.

Jon Voight with his daughter and Chip Taylor's neice

I'm sure my brother has been aware of all of this for years. He always seems to know these crazy little connections, but I just learned of it this week and thought I'd share it with you fine people.

Food, science, technology - now celebrities and music. You folks are going to be deep, well-rounded wells of completely random information before I'm done with you.

One Last Night in London

2010-08-13T09:49:00.014-05:00

To this point we've had a blast in London, but there were a few things that we didn't get to do, so our plan for our last day here was to try to hit what we had missed. First thing on our list was to take pictures by a giant fake tree and a giant fake bear.

Giant Fake Tree

Giant Fake Bear

Okay so, maybe that wasn't our goal when we set out for the day. Really, we were going to take a tour of the Globe Theatre - well the new Globe Theatre. The original theatre burned (a few times I think) and this is a full size replica of what it was. It turns out they have a giant fake tree and a giant fake bear where you wait for the tour to start. It was pretty cool to be in there and think about what it would've been like to see one of Shakespeare's plays performed. We were a bit early for the season to start or otherwise we may have gotten the chance to experience that for ourselves. Maybe next time.

Inside the Globe - they're getting it set up for a show.

Next on our list of things that we had yet to experience was high tea. So, we made our way back to the Orangery. This time we didn't take the long route walking through the whole park. Instead we just trained as close as we could and walked from there. On our way though, we passed the Chicago Rib Shack. I thought that was funny. It seems to me if you're going to name your rib shack after some place in the U.S., Chicago would not be on the top of that list. No offense to the good rib joints in my fair city.

This time the Orangery was definitely open for business. It was so open that we had to wait in a massive line to have tea. Who knew tea was so popular?

Outside of the Orangery, again, but for real this time.

Stacie showing off her tea skills - and showing me how to be proper.

I think I got the hang of it.

Inside of the Orangery - so fancy and proper.

A picture of the station we went to on our way back to our hotel.

We did a little shopping and wandering around after our high tea, but for the most part we decided to call it an early night. We did try to go to Portobello Marke t because we were told Sundays were the best day to go. As it turns out, Portobello Market is closed on Sundays, so I think we got some bad intel.

We were tired and had to catch the train to Paris at 5.30AM which meant a very early morning, so we called it a day after missing out on the market.

Oh, and I don't think I've posted a pic of our hotel room yet, so just to give you an idea of where we've been laying our heads for the past four nights:

Yep. I pretty much fill up the room. Oh well - we weren't there that much anyway. The hardest part was finding a place to put our luggage.

The next post will begin the Paris portion of our vacation. By about Christmas, we should have this whole trip down on virtual pen and paper. Get excited, people!

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week: You Have the Right to Remain Silent

2010-08-09T18:27:00.004-05:00

Miranda Rights.

Have you ever been in a situation where some uniformed officer had his knee in the middle of your back while he was cuffing you and he began to say, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will..." As he's speaking you drift off, getting lost in your own thoughts, wondering, "Why do the call them Miranda rights?"

No? Never happened?

Well, me neither - allegedly.

It does so happen that I read a story recently about the Supreme Court ruling stating that you have to say, "I'm invoking my right to remain silent," in order to have your Miranda Rights to be in effect. Better file that one away just in case.

So, why Miranda? Why not Carrie, Charlotte or Samantha rights? That's for my lady reader - showing her a little special attention this week. Though I did have to Google "Sex and the City" to get the final two names. The effort should count for something ladies! I mean - lady.

Ernesto Miranda was convicted of a kidnapping and rape in 1963. His own confession was used as evidence against him in the trial. In the appeal his lawyer argued that Ernesto was not aware that he did not have to speak to the police and could wait for his lawyer before doing anything, and the ruling was reversed. Later, Ernesto was convicted without using his own confession as evidence against him.

Ernesto!

Shortly thereafter, officers began issuing Miranda warnings to those they arrested. It is not mandatory by law that the warning be read, but not reading the warning may make anything said inadmissible as evidence in a trial.

But here's the real reason I'm writing this today. Whatever happened to ol' Ernesto Miranda? Well, it turns out he was in and out of jail until 1976 when he was involved in a violent fight in which he was murdered with a knife. The suspect was caught, but he refused to speak after being read, that's right, his Miranda rights. Oh that's just dripping with irony - I hope it doesn't get on the rest of my blog.

The suspect was released without being charged and is believed to have fled to Mexico.

I think it would be cooler if they would have called them Ernesto Rights, but nobody asked me.

The Day We Stormed a Castle, Took a Bath and Henged some Stone

2010-08-07T10:08:00.021-05:00

So, remember how we went to Europe back in April. Welcome to Day 3 of that trip! On this day, we ventured outside the city gates and into the English countryside. Our first stop was Windsor Castle. Windsor Castle is one of the official residences of The Queen, and the largest occupied castle in the world. To get to Windsor, we had scheduled a bus tour that was to take us first to Windsor, then to Bath and then on to Stonehenge before returning to London.

It was a little interesting finding our way to the bus station as it was across the street and down a bit from the rest of Victoria Station that we were familiar with at this point. But we made it with plenty of time to spare anyway and boarded for our trip right around 8AM. We would be gone for about 11 hours. Our tour guide was an older gentleman named Travis who was just fantastic.

Windsor Castle

The Tower at Windsor - most of the castles were began as towers built on mounds and then surrounded by a moat of some sort. Then the castle would grow outwards and eventually a town would spring up as the castle became a prominent place to be.

Stacie and I in front of the Tower.

A band of British soldiers playing some funky tunes.

British soldiers marching.

He was really good at not paying attention to us. His eyes darted around like crazy though. It was kind of creepy.

My turn to stand awkwardly close to a man who wanted nothing to do with us.

After touring Windsor Castle, it was time to make our way to Bath. Windsor was about a 30 minute ride from London, but Bath was going to be about 1-2 hours from Windsor. Bath was the most fantastic little town. It was tucked into the hills and had a beautiful river running through it. On the day we were there, there was big rugby match being played between Bath and one of their rivals so the town was all abuzz about that. Stacie and I toured the ancient Roman Baths, but we hustled through them in about 30 minutes in order to spend our remaining time checking out the little city. We were only given an hour and fifteen minutes here, but we've decided that we will definitely return to Bath at some point in the future.

The Roman Baths - built and used over 2,000 years ago.

A look down into the ancient spa.

Stacie and I about to take a dip. Not really - they frowned upon that. But the stone we are standing on is the same stone the English-Romans stood on as they prepared to take their dip 2,000 years ago which I find pretty amazing.

A very cool bridge in Bath. There are shops all along the inside of this bridge - you can see the back windows to the shops in this shot.

This park was beautiful and filled with people relaxing and listening to the rugby game that was being played just across the river.

Our next stop was the famous Stonehenge. You know - a bunch of rocks stacked up in a sheep pasture and no one knows why. Some think it was an ancient clock or calendar. Others believe it to be a religious monument. Some folks think aliens built it. It was pretty cool to see, but once I realized that nobody knows how it got here and nobody is ever going to know for sure, my attention began to fade. Plus I was pretty tired at this point.

Stonehenge

Us in front of Stonehenge.

More Stonehenge - there really wasn't much else out here.

After all of that we made our way back to the city on our bus. It was about a two hour ride, so we napped a bit. When we got back to London we were both hungry, and I was ready for some authentic fish and chips. So we stopped into this little place called the Bag O' Nails. It was there that I decided to order what I thought to be a cold beer. As you can see from the look on my face, I was a little disappointed.

As it turns out, I had ordered a cider while my wife was drinking a delicious John Smith. I tried to trade her to no avail. After being laughed at a bit by the waiter, he brought me my very own John Smith. All's well that end's well. Oh, and the fish and chips were excellent.

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week: Five Phases of Matter and BW3

2010-08-02T10:34:00.005-05:00

For most of the week, I didn't learn anything that was that interesting at all. I thought after two weeks, my series was already in jeopardy of being canceled. That was until I had some man-time doing some welding with my buddy, Cory. As we were repairing some metal chairs in my back courtyard and drinking a couple of High Life tall boys, I began to wonder as to the history of welding.

As I began researching welding, I came across something I had never been informed of before in my life. There are not three states, or phases, of matter as we all have grown up believing. There are in fact five! We all know about solid, liquid and gas, but actually the most prevalent state of matter in the entire universe is plasma. That's right, plasma. It's pretty close to a gas, but has too many unique qualities to be considered a gas, so it is, in fact, it's own state of matter. It's what stars consist of, mostly.

The fifth phase is called Bose-Einstein Condensate. Feel free to click the link and try to understand that particular state of matter. I read it twice and still am baffled.

All you need to take away from this is that when I have a kid, and the teacher begins to teach my kid about the three states of matter, my child will raise his or her tiny little hand and say, "But my daddy told me there were five states of matter: sowid, wiquid, gas, pwasma and Bose-Einstein Condensate." And that will be the proudest moment of my life.

Bonus Most Interesting Thing:

While we're on numbers, I asked the right man a question last night that has bugged me for years. Why do people call Buffalo Wild Wings "BW3"? I only see two W's there. My friend Patrick happened to work there at one time and knew the answer that I'm willing to bet only one of the four of you at most knows. The third W comes from Buffalo Wild Wings and Weck - the original name of the restaurant chain. The nickname stuck despite the name change.

So, what the heck is weck then? (See what I did there.) Weck is German for "roll" and the short way to say Kummelweck, which is a type of roll that BW3 served sandwiches on at the time.

Food and science this week. How am I ever going to top that?

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week

2010-07-26T18:10:00.003-05:00

The Origin of EBAY

This may be one of those weeks where the most interesting thing I came across is more interesting to some of you than to others, but what we should really focus on here is the fact that I said I was going to have a weekly post, and lo and behold, one week later a post appears. Keep that in mind.

I went to a CEO breakfast this week put on by the Chicago Young Professionals. I thought it would be fun since the person speaking was Rob Solomon, COO of Groupon. If you're not familiar with Groupon, you should check out the link.

During his speech he began talking about how Groupon was formed kind of on accident. Then he related that to other major online sites we're all familiar with that began a bit by chance. One of those was eBay.

As it turns out, Pierre Omidyar, a French-born Iranian created eBay in 1995 in San Jose, CA, as a site for his fiancee to sell her extensive collection of Pez dispenser. Apparently, she thought they might have some value, but wasn't sure how to best capitalize on that value.

That's what the the COO of Groupon told us anyway.

Pretty interesting, huh? I thought so. I thought it was interesting enough that I decided to write about it this week. But as I did some verification on the story, it turns out that's not the truth at all. In fact, that story was completely made up by an eBay PR manager in 1997. Apparently Pez dispensers got all the press buzzing. However, the story is so well known, that most people, even COOs who've spent years living in Silicon Valley, believe it to be true.

The real story is that eBay started out as an auction company by a different name selling airline tickets and other travel related items. Then when it became eBay, the first item ever to be sold was a broken laser pointer that was originally purchased as a cat toy. The item sold for $14.83. Omidyar was stunned that it sold, so he contacted the buyer who responded by saying that he was a collector of broken laser pointers. I'm pretty sure that was the moment Omidyar realized he had struck gold.

To me, this is a great example of truth being stranger than fiction. And it's also a great lesson. When you hear something interesting, don't just assume it's true - especially if you read it on the Internet. There's weirdos out there buying broken laser pointer cat toys who have access to this thing for Pete's sake.

Stuff Conservatives Like

2010-07-21T12:08:00.005-05:00

SAYING NO

You know the old saying, "Why say no when it feels sooooo good to say yes?" Well, that saying was first uttered by a sappy, bleeding heart liberal. How do I know that? Because I am a conservative. And as a conservative I can tell you that nothing makes my lump of coal heart pump the oil that has replaced my blood faster than telling someone to take a hike.

I mean, sure, we'll tell you that we're concerned about the ever-increasing federal debt or personal responsibility, but what we really feel inside is unfettered glee at those two little letters squeezed together and passing over our lips: N-O.

Just try it. Say the word out loud. No.

Should we give money to companies that are failing?

No.

Should we expand the governments role in health care, ultimately leading to a government operated system?

NO.

Should we further throw the current budget out of whack by extending unemployment benefits despite the fact that we just passed pay-as-you-go legislation after which the president uttered these words: "Congress can only spend a dollar if it saves a dollar elsewhere."

No. NO. NO!

Didn't it feel good to say that out loud? I mean, in three little breaths we have just broken the hearts of big companies, people that are sick and people that have been out of work for a long time. Delicious, wouldn't you agree?

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell - I'm assuming he's saying no here. He practically can't keep the smile from erupting onto his otherwise very droopy face.

Buying the votes of citizens ain't got nothing on how it feels to kill their hopes and dreams.

Why say yes, when it feels so, so good to say no?

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week: Going Balls Out

2010-07-19T10:40:00.006-05:00

Occasionally, I come across random pieces of information that may or may not (but most likely may not) be useful in everyday life. Generally, this makes me feel like I have a lot of completely random, often useless information stored in my brain. Every so often, I get to bring this info out and drop some random knowledge on unsuspecting folks engaged in conversation with me. Then this conversation ensues:

"Why do you even know that...?"

"I have no idea."

"Where'd you learn it?"

"No clue."

While passing along something I learned this week to Stacie, she suggested that I should start a weekly segment called "The Most Interesting Thing I Learned This Week." Now, those of you who follow me know that in the title alone lay several potential problems. First off, the title requires me to post weekly. That may be a stretch. And secondly, the title requires that what I learn and communicate be interesting - obviously that can be very subjective, leading to much debate about the meaning of the word "interesting." Nonetheless, I am not one to back down from a good idea, so I'm going to give this a shot. And all of you that know me shouldn't be surprised that we are starting with something classy.

GOING BALLS OUT

Being a former high school and college athlete (and surrounded by former high school and college athletes in the sales industry), I hear the phrase "going balls out" on a fairly regular basis. Generally speaking it is in reference to going as hard as you can to accomplish your goal. You know, doing everything possible at the highest possible level.

Every time I heard the phrase, I assumed two things:

A) This had to have something to do with the male anatomy.

and

B) I was not cool enough to know how having those out would cause me to do anything but worry about their safety. But apparently when they're out, you perform tasks much better.

As it turns out, I was wrong on both of my assumptions. And I have a feeling my high school coaches and former sales managers all made the same incorrect assumptions. Some people just live in the meaning of the cliche without ever caring about the source.

Thank God for the History Channel.

As it turns out, old steam engines had governors on them that looked like this:

They had large brass or iron balls that would spin around as the engine was operating. Centrifugal force would cause the balls to move out from point they were spinning around. Once they reached their farthest point, the engine was performing at its top speed. Often when a steam engine operator wanted to run at full capacity he would simply shout for his crew to go "balls out."

Here's another look at a the real thing:

The same type of history lies behind the phrase "balls to the wall" as well. From my research, this indicates when a fighter pilot wanted to achieve maximum speed. The throttles had ball shaped grips on the handles, so if the order was given to go "balls to the wall" it meant to push the throttle all the way forward to the wall of the cockpit.

So, the history of these phrases, as it turns out, is very mild and benign. That being said, I'd still advise caution in the circumstances in which they are used. Most people assume otherwise.

Stay classy, fine readers.

Kagan Confirmation Hearing

2010-06-28T17:05:00.004-05:00

Too long for a tweet, too short for a blog. What to do? I guess I'll just blog it real quick. Heck, most of y'all would probably love a quick read from me...

So, there's this Elena Kagan lady who is up for SCOTUS, and I'm having a little problem with something that came about in the hearing today. I thought I'd throw it out here for a couple, two-tree* of my readers to see if I'm crazy. So here (and several other spots) she says she will give proper deference to Congress and the laws it makes (I'm assuming in regard to her future decisions.)

To me, this may be the biggest problem (of many) facing my ability to feel comfortable with her on the bench. Deference has two definitions according to Webster: respect or esteem due a superior is the first. Affected regard for another's wishes is the second.

I believe the only deference should be given to the Constitution. The Congress is not superior to the Court. And the only wishes that should be regarded are those of the Constitution. If a law passed by Congress does not mesh with the supreme law of our land, then there is a problem. Oftentimes the wishes of the Congress (and perhaps even the people) do not line up with what is permitted in the Constitution. I'm not saying it's always black and white. In fact, it probably rarely is so. But I would rather she seek her decision with deference to the Constitution, not with deference to a bunch of lawmakers whose desires can change with the shifting political landscape.

Am I reading too much into this statement?

*couple, two-tree is my new Chicago phrase, basically means a couple: "Can I get a couple, two-tree Cokes?"

Wisdom From A Thirty Year Old

2010-06-24T12:11:00.003-05:00

I'm thirty today. Well, technically I turned 30 yesterday, but this is the first day that I've ever awakened to greet the day as a 30 year old. That's pretty crazy to say out loud in my head. I figure that I should have a lot of life experiences and wisdom built up after being on this here planet for so long, and you know what...? I do. I am very wise. I'm practically Yoda...wait, no...who taught Yoda? Whoever taught Yoda, that's the guy I rank right up there with in wisdom acquired. What, don't believe me...? Fine. I'll prove it by giving you all some free wisdom today garnered in my first three decades of life. I should note, it does help to be born awesome for what I'm about to pass along to take root.

Be born awesome. It will serve you well in life.
If you climb on a chair with wheels to reach a root beer, that action may result in a broken arm. But it will be totally worth it.
Fear not. You do not have to go to jail if you expose yourself by peeing in front of the cheerleaders and the crowd during a football game provided you are 4 years old at the time.
Be wise in dangerous situations. If at all possible ensure that your older brother attempts dangerous maneuvers first. Examples may include riding a bicycle up and over and old pickup on a 2 X 12 and swinging by a cheap, old electrical cord over cactus.
Not eating your spinach may upset people early in your life. It may even cause them to withhold recess from you. This will be the first cost-benefit analysis you perform before making a decision. Choose wisely. The wise choice is recess. In case you were wondering if there's a right or wrong here. Because there is.
Do not be disheartened when you discover you say hardly a word to the first girlfriend you have. Girls are scary. Especially when they are pretty and smell nice.
Revel in the moments when disagreements are solved through conversation, but if there is no other course of action to agreement, punch your opponent in the face. Nice and hard. Make sure you do it first.
If your butt starts to itch, immediately remove yourself from the situation you've found yourself in. Do not ask questions. Act.
Be awesome at sports. Life will surely be easier for you if this is accomplished. It is possible that you will be allowed to change majors in college (despite a prohibitive GPA) simply based on the fact that you play a sport.
Go off to college. Not for wisdom - you are surely gaining that simply by looking at these letters formed into magical words. Go because it is fun. Really fun.
Do not charge lightly when taking on a 260lb running back at a full speed. Charge the opposite of lightly. Charge hardly.
At all times try not to look completely ridiculous. Dying your hair blond will make you look completely ridiculous. But once it grows out a little bit and you have a sweet late 90s frosted tips kind of look, you will once again be returned to non-ridiculousness. Possibly even awesomeness.
Take the trash out often. Preferably shirtless while wearing jorts and walking your roommates tiny dog. This is how you find a wife.
Roadtrips are the key to unlocking the mysteries of the...road...Seriously. Road trips are awesome. You will have a good time driving from College Station to Cincinnati even if the Bengals get whipped by the Steelers. Find the road. Find it often.
Do not work for Pepsi Bottling Group straight out of college. Possibly ever. Pepsi is not as fun as the commercials make it look.
When you marry, marry the most awesome woman ever. Oh wait. You can't. You know...since I did. It's not like you can do everything on this list anyway.
If you come across a river, float that river. Float the hell out of that river.
Get a dog. Not because you are scared of pretty girls that smell nice. Get a dog that is as awesome as you are. Heck, get two.
"Friends are better than gold or crowns, having a bunch won't weigh you down..." Wise words borrowed by one wise man from another wise man. Make a lot of friends. You should have friends every where in the United States at the least. And I don't mean facebook friends. I mean crash on your couch kind of friends...that's why you want them all over. It's cheaper to visit places then.
Travel the world. Much like taking a great road trip opens ones eyes, traveling the world opens ones eyes farther. It will be as though you are pushing them open even wider than can be considered comfortable with your own fingers. But those fingers are actually the fingers of the world.
If the time comes and you move away from your home, fear not. Even if you are moving to a place where more people are shot over the summer than are shot in Iraq, fear not. But do not move to the south side. Of any place. The south side is always the dangerous side.
Journal your thoughts. Your thoughts are a guidebook to your past and a map for your future. If they stay locked in your mind, then what good do they do you. So instead, write them down. Unless your writing style or thoughts are awful, then keeping them locked away would be considered wise.

If I were to sum up what I have learned in my first 30 years, I'd have to borrow another quote: "Be excellent to one another. And party on dudes."

I know that you have learned many wise things today. Wisdom is power, so as you go about your day use that power of wisdom wisely. Use it to get free stuff.

And There Was Evening and There Was Morning in London - The Second Day

2010-06-21T17:14:00.011-05:00

As you can obviously see by my lack of posting, life has gotten busy on me again. How the heck does it keep doing that? Oh that's right...I travel the entire Midwest for work and then have to spend my evenings in hotels doing the "office" work that I missed while traveling instead of blogging about my world travels. That's ridiculousness and it needs to stop right now.

There. I stopped it.

Now, for the continued adventures of Ty and Stacie in London! I believe our story left off with us returning to the tiny hotel room for a bit of shuteye after watching Phantom of the Opera. So good.

The next morning we had our sights set on a big day. Our first stop was back to Trafalgar Square to visit the National Gallery. But first we had to take some pictures on the lions. Because that looked like the thing to do there.

Taming the beasts

Next we headed into the National Gallery which was a lot of fun. We really enjoyed looking at all the amazing paintings. I'm sure we'll revisit this gallery at some point in the future.

After our visit to The National Gallery, we made our way to the other side of Trafalgar Square and to the Texas Embassy. When the Great State was the Republic of Texas, she had an embassy here in London. This particular embassy is a cantina filled with delicious Texan refreshments. The original embassy was not at this exact location, but it's close enough. We decided to take in a little DP and Lone Star on our break.

After our little break, we headed to Kensington Gardens to check it out and ultimately head to The Orangery to have afternoon tea. It is England after all. We wanted to make sure we observed some of the customs.

In Kensington Gardens

But our goal of having afternoon tea at The Orangery was thwarted. After walking a very long way, we were told there was some high-to-do going on and that we were not on the guest list. Stuck up, snobby Brits and their private parties interfering with our touristing...

Exhausted from walking, sad about no tea at the Orangery, happy to be in London

Not ones to let a minor setback ruin our day, we proceeded to carry on with our touring, making our way down to Westminster Abbey for Evensong. As we got off of the train though we made our way by the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben.

Big Ben

After checking out Big Ben it was on to Evensong. Evensong is a great way to check out Westminster Abbey. Instead of paying and taking some tour, Evensong is a mass that happens everyday at 5PM. So we were able to go in and worship while checking out the cathedral. It was beautiful and amazing. It's pretty cool to go in and worship where folks had been doing just that for over a thousand years

Westminster Abbey

After Evensong we weren't sure exactly what we wanted to do, but since we hadn't been to Buckingham Palace yet, we decided that should be the next stop. So we took a stroll in that direction. The flag was flying which apparently means the Queen is in residence and there was one guard with a machine gun patrolling the front of the palace. There was also a wedding party taking pictures by the fountain out front. We didn't go inside and I'm not certain that we even could, but it was still pretty cool to go check it out.

Buckingham Palace

After that, we made wandered around the city a bit more and wound up eating at an Italian restaurant that we saw the night before in Trafalgar Square. It was very good and there was some great people watching there. Our table was on the bottom level (sort of in the basement, I guess) and sharing the area with us was a bachelorette party, two very young kids on a date (I'd say 17 at the oldest, but that's guessing high I believe) and an odd looking couple in the back who could not or would not quit making out long enough to eat their food.

It was pretty crazy down there.

All in all, it was another great day in London. There's nothing left to say except:

THE

(of day two.)

Our Trip to London - Day One

2010-05-08T09:33:00.013-05:00

You may have noticed via Facebook or via me getting really excited and telling you or via me being gone for ten days straight that Stacie and I did a bit of traveling recently. We took a trip over the big pond to do a little European exploration. Our first stop was London. We landed just about 12 hours before they shut down all of the airspace over Europe due to Iceland's crazy volcanic eruption. It was at about 10.45PM, or as they would say 22:45, and we proceeded to take the Heathrow Express to Paddington Station. I'm not sure that was the most cost-effective way for us to get where we were going since we had to then take a taxi from there to our hotel, but I'm glad we did it because Paddington Station is beautiful. Plus that would be the only time we'd take a taxi in London, and their taxis are pretty cool compared to ours, so I didn't even know that I didn't want to miss that.

We immediately went to sleep, or at least tried to, once we got checked into our hotel room. The jet lag didn't make for a great night's sleep, but nevertheless we made it up and out around 10AM the next day to begin exploring London. Side note here: our hotel room (at the Luna Simone) was tiny, but it was nice and they served breakfast (which we were never up early enough to partake in.) And by tiny I mean maybe as big as our master bedroom at home for the whole thing, bathroom and all. And we don't have a huge master bedroom in our little condo in Chicago. But we loved our location for a first time visit. We'd probably change it up on a second trip, though.

The first day there we decided to take the train all the way out to the Tower Hill stop and then just spend the day walking back to our hotel. We wanted to wander and explore and just see the sights and get our bearings. It was really the perfect thing to do on the first day.

Naturally, the Tower Hill stop lets you off pretty close to the Tower of London and the Tower Bridge. We didn't go into the Tower of London, but we'll probably do that on our next visit. We did a lot of things, but you can't do them all. You'll notice that theme running through our trip. The great thing is that when we returned from 10 days in Europe we actually felt rested and as though we had been on vacation. I don't think that happens for most people. We didn't push ourselves like crazy. We saw the sights and just enjoyed ourselves.

Here's some other things we did that day:

A better view of the Tower Bridge.

Stacie felt sorry for this street performer because he wasn't getting much love from the crowds. In defense of the crowds he wasn't very good at standing still like he's supposed to do. And it turns out that he's from New Jersey.

The London Eye with Parliament and Big Ben in the background.

Ridin' the Eye. That's what they call it there. Actually, I just made that up. Please don't embarrass yourself in London by saying that.

Parliament and Big Ben from the Eye.

Stacie did this a lot during our trip, so I caught her a few times when I thought it looked cool.

Along our walked we passed the Globe Theatre, which we will go to later in our trip. We stopped to sit in a cafe and have a snack and a cold beverage. We grabbed lunch at this crazy market that we just stumbled upon. You can stumble upon it right here: http://www.boroughmarket.org.uk/. It was amazing how it just kept going and going and winding through alleys and streets. One of my favorite parts of London and Paris was wandering into something cool like that. We also wandered into this really cool wine store, but those pics are on another computer, so I guess we'll just have to put them on facebook because I'm in the zone here and don't want to move.

After we finished our revolution on the Eye, it was time for us to pick up the pace back to our hotel. We didn't make a lot of plans before heading to London, but one thing we did was buy tickets to The Phantom of the Opera at Her Majesty's Theatre. So, we hustled back to the hotel. Our feet were exhausted from walking all day. We changed quickly and headed out the door. We caught the bus right outside of our hotel which took us up to Trafalgar Square. From there, we walked around looking for our theatre and perhaps some food. But what we stumbled upon was the premier of a movie at The Odeon in Trafalgar Square. Apparently it was a pretty big deal in England because there was a nice sized crowd gathered watching the stars of the show go into the movie. I didn't recognize any of them. It was called The Heavy, and if you're interested you can do more research here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0473364/.

Some very nice policemen who were on duty for the premier kindly pointed us in the direction of our theatre and wished us luck getting through the crowd. We pushed through and walked about a block, turned left and there she was: Her Majesty's Theatre. At this point, we were both hungry but didn't have time to go anywhere fancy or eat anything substantial so we ducked into this little chain called Pret A Manger. It's French for "a place to eat", I believe, and they have them all over London. It's just a quick stop for soup or a wrap or something along those lines.

But we made it to the show with a few minutes to spare. It was amazing. The music, the cast, the set...it was all incredibly well done. If you haven't seen Phantom, I highly recommend it. If you have, but not in London, I highly recommend you take a trip sometime. It will be well worth it.

Stacie and I outside of Her Majesty's Theatre. I feel like the striped shirt gives me man-boob here, so I apologize, but it's our only picture we have from the evening. :(

After the show, we went to grab fourth meal at one of the restaurants right around Trafalgar Square. I think it was like going to a London version of Bennigan's. It's called Garfunkel's. We got Traditional Beef with Yorkshire Pudding - one of our many attempts at eating local cuisine. I have to say it wasn't bad.

After that, we strolled over to Hagen-Daas and grabbed an ice cream cone. Trafalgar Square was bustling with people. There were dance clubs and restaurants and cafes and movie theatres. We just wanted to hang out there and people watch a bit. Then after getting solicited to go to a dance club by a young man who said he'd take us there and get us in with a 5 Pound discount, we decided it was time to call it a night.

So back on the bus we went. Which then let us off with about a mile left to go because it was the end of the line for that time of night. We don't really know if that was the case, but after a little more walking, we thankfully crawled into bed around midnight. And lay there wide awake for a while because it was only 6PM in the US.

Well, that wraps up day one. Not bad for a first day I'd say. I'll post more photos and the rest of the trip as I get the time to do so.

Oh and P.S. - all of this happened on April 15th, my gorgeous wife's 30th birthday. Happy Birthday, Stacie!! I love you so much and you get more beautiful with every passing moment.

Stuff Conservatives Like

2010-03-26T18:05:00.009-05:00

So, I've been inspired. There is a book that I find really entertaining called "Stuff White People Like" and a blog I also find really entertaining called "Stuff Christians Like." They're truly fantastic in their own way, and I'm sure one probably spawned the other. Well, I'm white and Christian, but what I also am is conservative. I don't know if a "Stuff Conservatives Like" exists or not. And I am not going to Google for fear that it does. But what I will do is throw down my own "Stuff Conservatives Like" post. Who knows, maybe it'll become a regularly occurring feature.

I just heard my brother mumble, "Yeah, right." He knows me so well.

So what is the first foray into "Stuff Conservatives Like"? How about:

USING THOMAS JEFFERSON QUOTES AS THEIR FACEBOOK STATUS.

Ever since the recent health care "reform" legislation was signed into law there has been a very vocal crowd on ye ol' book o' faces. I must confess to being part of that, but, man, have the quotes of dead people been flying around or what? I mean, you never see those of a more liberal slant pulling quotes off of Google and slapping them on their facebook status updates do you? Of course not, and I'll tell you why.

We conservatives are obviously heartless bastards who hate the poor, the sick, minorities and Michael Moore. But we can't just come out and say, "I'm a cold-hearted, half-reptile, half-man redneck who doesn't want to share." That would make it way too easy for us to be swept aside like crazy people. No, silly, we have to prove that long before us there were heartless bastards who made this country into the place it is today, where our uninsured are dying in the streets and our poor people only have a normal cell phone, not the kind with games and internet on it.

You see, a liberal doesn't have to look to the past. They're called progressives now. Get it? Progress. Progress is forward. If they look to the past that will just slow them down. Plus, why would you have to defend your stance as a liberal. You want everyone to have health care and big houses and college educations and a steady stream of disposable income to spend on unicorn rides. And you want it to magically appear out of the Lincoln Memorial.

Who wouldn't want that? Oh, that's right. Me and my puppy kicking, dream squashing friends. But you know what, I do want unicorn rides for all! But I run into this problem when I think about money pouring out of the Lincoln Memorial and floating in the reflection pool. I don't find it plausible. Well, and I've never seen a unicorn yet.

I'm pretty sure all the stuff everyone should have has to be paid for, somehow, though. And you know what else, I bet Thomas Jefferson spent a whole lot of time thinking about what kind of a country America could be. He probably thought about it even more than Joe Biden practices his salty sailor talk. Thomas Jefferson saw the opportunities and the inherent dangers with the type of country our founders were forming. He and others warned against what could happen once we turn to the government as providers rather than defenders of liberty. So, maybe it's okay to look back and quote him every now and then.

Of course, maybe we conservatives are just too brainwashed to formulate our own thoughts and opinions. We pretty much just listen to Fox News and Rush Limbaugh all day. I mean, when we're not snacking on kittens.

I. Am. A. Genius.

2010-03-24T15:25:00.003-05:00

Well, if not a genius, I definitely have some type of 6th sense thing going on here. Seriously. Here's what I wrote back in August of 2009:

"Obviously, I'm picking the Bengals to win this division."

Sorry to those of you that started reading this piece thinking it was about something meaningful. Not this one, my friends. It is sports related, so as always, if "sports aren't your thing", feel free to check out for today. But know that you'll be given one demerit.

This is my annual review of the Come and Blog It Annual Prediction of How the NFL Season Will Play Out.

It's taken me a little longer to get to writing this one largely due to the massive amount of tears I shed after my Bengals let me down in the playoffs. It's hard to type when you keep shorting out key boards. This is going to be a short one, though, because as you can see, if I picked the Bengals to win the AFC North, and nailed it, obviously I didn't miss much. I am that good.

"But wait," some of you are saying. "What about at the bottom of your division analysis when you wrote":

"Oh forget it! I'm picking the Bungles! I was wrong about everything last year, so maybe this will be an unexpected correct pick."

Who are you? The Pick Police! It doesn't matter how I got there. I put it down in stone so it was right.

But you're not here for what I got right, are you? No. That's boring. You're here for what I completely fouled up...you people are so predictable. Fine. Here it is:

First, I picked the Green Bay Packers to win the NFC North. They went 11-5 and made the playoffs, but they didn't win it. I picked the Vikings to be second and they were pretty much awesome.

I picked the Falcons to win the NFC South. But at least I picked the Saints to...finish third and miss the playoffs...hmmm. This division always baffles me, and this year was no different. In fact, here's what I wrote:

"I think I've picked New Orleans to win this division two years in a row now. And two years in a row the Saints have let me down, despite Mr. Brees and his fantastic throwing arm."

Thanks, Saints.

About the NFC East I said:

"...this thing comes down to a Giants team that I always seem to under appreciate and an Eagles team that I constantly distrust because of Donovan McNabb's accuracy issues."

Turns out I over-appreciated the Giants by a bit this year and under-appreciated those Cowboys. But as always, the Redskins finished last. At least I can predict that one properly.

Man, I'm gonna be honest with you. I actually did a pretty nice job of prognosticating this year. But you know what that does...? That makes for one boring review of your predictions. I correctly picked 4 of the 6 playoff teams from each conference. I missed both of my Super Bowl predictions, but still, this is a pretty boring review.

NFL, I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'm putting you on notice, Colbert-style. That's right folks. The NFL is on notice. If I can predict with this accuracy what's going to happen, the league has become lackluster at best.

NFL, you'd better get back to your crazy days when it was all Steelers and Patriots and everyone else was just playing for second. Because that free-for-all for second was a lot more fun come this time of year.

If the NFL doesn't get its act together, I suggest you all come back to this page in August, print a copy of my predictions and head to Vegas, 'cause baby, you about to be rich.

For the Troops

2010-03-12T16:42:00.004-06:00

Hey folks, I mentioned in my previous post (a kind of ranty one, I'll admit) about Peter King petitioning his readers to donate to a good cause.

Well, I received an email from the USO asking me to pass along the link if I didn't mind. I don't so here's the recommend text from them:

"Hey,

I wanted to let you know about an amazing effort Peter King from Sports Illustrated and the USO are running right now. It's called the Five for Fighting campaign -- I just took part and am hoping you will join me.

Through this campaign, we can help bring support to Sgt. McGuire and his troops. They are set to deploy to Afghanistan later this year and in preparation are looking to us to help bring some of the comforts from home to their base, like a TV with video games and weight equipment.

These troops make amazing sacrifices every day. It really doesn't seem like too much to ask to chip in $5 and take part in the Peter King's Five for Fighting campaign. Will you join with me and help bring a touch of home to our troops? You can donate by clicking here:"

http://uso.org/PeterKing

If you've got a spare five-spot, help the soldiers feel a little more at home while they're serving our country.

Thanks, you three are the best!

My Fair Share

2010-03-10T15:38:00.003-06:00

Today I received a letter from US Census Bureau. You probably received one, too. It read:

"Dear Resident:

About one week from now, you will receive a 2010 Census form in the mail. When you receive your form, please fill it out and mail it in promptly.

Your response is important. Results from the 2010 Census will be used to help each community get its fair share of government funds for highways, schools, health facilities and many other programs you and your neighbors need. Without a complete, accurate census, your community may not receive its fair share.

Thank you in advance for your help."

I don't know about you, but the term "fair share" pretty much makes me gag. And this form letter, though short, was nonetheless extremely gag inducing. Of course, I'm a guy that thinks government should provide for certain things like defending our country, keeping commonly used infrastructure in tact, protecting our rights and liberties, things that fall in the big picture category. When it comes to schools, health facilities and "programs", I'm generally not a big fan of Federal involvement.

But aside from that here's what makes me gag:

FAIR SHARE: I hate the word fair except in baseball. And unless we're talking baseball, who the heck can even know what is fair? Who decides what is fair? If I'm forced to use the word, I'd say that my fair share of the things the census is offering would mean that I would get a proportionate amount of the services to my taxes paid. But I'm willing to bet what is meant here is that if my neighborhood has a generally higher income level, they're going to put less resources into our "schools, health facilities and programs" because it wouldn't be "fair" to use our taxes in our neighborhood because we can just pay for stuff ourselves.

And seriously, who decides what is fair? Bureaucrats, that's who. And what's their
motivation? Votes. Don't think for a second that most of the people in elected positions
want what's best for our country. They want to stay employed.

SO WHAT'S FAIR, THEN?: Is it fair when we all have exactly the same amount of money? Is it fair when we all have the exact same amount of homes with the exact same amount of square footage and the exact same amount of food in the exact same fridge? There's no such thing as fair in this sense! It doesn't exist. I don't believe it exists in any sense. I'd like to say that fair is when we all have the same opportunities for success, but that doesn't and will never exist. Some people will be born into families that instill in them a work ethic. Some people will be born into families that let them do whatever they want with no accountability whatsoever. Some will be given up for adoption. Some will have no dads. Some will have the best parents. Some will have a lot of money and go to college for free. Some will have no money and have to work their way through school if they want a degree. But the thing that's great about our country is your guaranteed the opportunity to strive for success. And you'll have to overcome many things that aren't fair on the way to that success.

NEED!: Ugh. As if all that "fair share" talk wasn't enough to make me throw up in my mouth a little, they had to go say that we need the things that the great government will provide us our fair share of. Programs! Health facilities! Schools! Sure, we need hospitals. We need schools. But government acts as if they weren't there we'd just let our sick die and our kids grow up as uneducated imbeciles. And the programs...well, the programs have all done their "fair share" to cause people to be overly reliant on government. Does the government believe we'd let our needy go unattended to if they weren't around? I wouldn't and neither would the rest of the country. Have you seen our country's generous outpouring of help when other countries need help? How much more do you think we'd show up to help our own, but government has wretched that from our hands and now use it against those who need it to secure their vote. Peter King is a sports writer for SI.com. Most of you have probably never heard of him, but he met a soldier at a Cardinals baseball game once and a friendship between them grew. This soldier and his troops are headed to Afghanistan to start a remote base and Peter asked what he could do for them. The soldier said he'd like for his troops to have something to do in their downtime (lift weights, video games, nice TV, etc.) like they would have if they were on a more permanent base. So, Peter went to his readers and asked for $5 to be donated to a USO site that builds these type of rec areas at a cost of $20K each. His readers donated enough in one day to build that one and 4 more for other troops stationed in different areas. The average donation was over $25. We are a generous people at our cores and we don't need the government to do every little thing for us when we hit a tough spot.

I realize this post is a little ranty, but it's been that kind of day and I felt like typing hard. I'm not against paying taxes (though I am against the income tax, talk about not "fair", and I'm against the covert removal of taxes from our paychecks so that most of us don't even know what goes out the door), but I believe there are certain things the government should use those taxes for and certain things that are our own responsibility.

And I don't like it when the government dangles "fair share" and "need" in front of my face like a carrot to get me all excited about the Census.

Now I need to go, I hear my big white phone ringing.

"Hello, Ralph..."

iTunes, Sometimes I Feel Like You Don't Know Me at All

2010-02-03T17:04:00.005-06:00

The last three days of work have been so busy. And tomorrow and Friday aren't looking any better. Oh well. Such is life sometimes.

But since I can't get it all done and everyone needs to take a breather at some point, I decided to spend some time on iTunes looking for some new music. I hadn't checked out the "Just for You" section in a while, so I thought perusing that might bring up something worthwhile. Who knows right?

I'm not sure if you can see that too well; you may have to click on it. But did you notice the gray highlighted song that iTunes recommended for me.

That's right. The University of Iowa Fight Song. Performed by the University of Iowa Hawkeye Marching Band.

What?

What could I have possibly purchased to lead iTunes to believe that not only would I want to listen to a marching band perform a high school style college fight song, but that I would then want to drop 99 cents to own the thing?

Not only that, three of the songs on that list of recommendations I own already. They're in my iTunes library, iTunes.

And then there's the Dave Matthews Band and Brad Paisley recommendations.

I never thought I'd say this, but iTunes, I'm putting you on notice, Colbert style. You think you know me and have stuff "Just for Me"? Time to start proving it or I'm just going to have to search through all your files to find my own stuff. And that could take up a lot of bandwidth.

Yeah, that's a threat.

Dear Cincinnati Bengals

2010-01-09T09:34:00.004-06:00

Dear Bengals,

Please win today. It's been 20 years since the last time you won a playoff game, and fans like me sure could use a little love. I can't even remember that last playoff win. You see, I was 9 and had been a fan for about a year and a half. There's so many things that have happened since that playoff win against the Houston Oilers...I had to look that up. Because I can't remember it.

But I do remember:

Not having the Internet. I got my first email address sometime in 1997. Seven years after your last playoff win.

The last episode of the Cosby Show. In 1992.

The day President Bill Clinton was elected. In 1992.

Making the varsity tennis team as a freshman. In 1995.

Mistakenly being put on the JV team as a sophomore. In 1996.

The first Gulf War. Just after that playoff victory.

The dissolving of the Soviet Union. In 1991. (I thought that happened after Rocky IV came out, but apparently not.)

The first time I watched Dumb and Dumber...laughed till I cried. In 1996.

Rodney King. 1992.

Michael Jordan's first retirement. In 1993.

And his second retirement. In 1998.

The first girl I kissed. In 1991. (Don't worry mom, it was on a dare at a birthday party. Pretty much the scariest moment of my young life. And awesome.)

O.J. Simpson and the white Bronco. In 1994.

Watching Point Break in the 6th grade and thinking it was the most awesome movie I had ever seen. In 1992.

The Oklahoma City bombing in 1995.

Getting ejected from a basketball game and having my chemistry teacher yell down the hall, "Get off me!", repeating pre-ejection words shouted by me just prior to a massive shove of an opponent. In 1996.

The movie Titanic. In 1997.

Scoring my first touchdown in high school. In 1997. (Stripped the football from a dude. Took it 92 yards to the house. Breathed heavily for a half hour.)

Columbine. In 1999.

Learning all the words to U Can't Touch This. 1991-1993...I'm not much of a rapper.

9-11. In '01, obviously.

My first Aggie Bonfire. In 1998.

Bonfire falls. In 1999.

Walking on to the Fightin' Texas Aggie Football team and winning the Big XII Championship. In 1998.

Bush '43 getting elected. In '00.

Meeting my wife. In '00.

Our first date. In '01.

She says yes. In '03.

We get married. In '04.

Our 5th wedding anniversary. In '09.

Bengals, please don't make me have a sixth wedding anniversary without your next playoff victory occurring. Please, go out there today and get the job done. Beat the Jets. And believe me, I'll remember this one in 20 years.

But if you don't. If you should go out onto that field today, give your all and fail, I will still be that crazy Texan who is a Bengals fan. I'll still be that guy who must explain the story of how I became a Bengal loyalist to every stranger who asks me if I'm a Dallas fan or a Houston fan. I'll do that for you.

Can you do this for me?

XOXOXO,

Crazy Texan Bengals Fan
Since 1988

Merry Christmas

2009-12-18T10:23:00.003-06:00

Once again, I find that the months have flown by between posts. I know this. You know this. So, let's not pretend like I have a new excuse or anything. It's just life. It gets busy. I believe we all experience this from time to time.

But in my defense, I did get captured by Somali pirates while I was on a super secret, highly classified mission for the CIA. Any of you that have seen me around in the last two months have actually just been seeing a very advanced hologram created by our nation's top scientists in a hidden laboratory deep beneath the surface of the Earth. However, I escaped from the pirates just two days ago, completed my mission and have finally made it back here safe and sound.

And the first thing I thought to do was blog for you.

You feel bad now for getting all upset at my lack of posts, don't you?

It's cool. Your forgiven. But just remember, until you have the whole story be careful where those heated emotions may take you. That's our lesson for today.

Class dismissed.

Wait...! Actually, I came here for a purpose. Ah, yes. To wish each and every 3 of you (that's right, I have 3 readers now...) a very Merry Christmas.

The holidays can often be a time for Stacie and me that involves much planning and doing and preparing, which is great. But sometimes it's important to just slow down and know that it's all going to be fine if we don't get it all done. How can I know this? Well, I can't really. I guess if we did no planning and preparing, we'd feel pretty lame around the Christmas tree saying, "We were going to get you gifts and whatnot, but we just didn't get around to it. Love ya bunches, though!"

I'm very thankful for Stacie in that regard. She really helps to keep the throttle down on preparation where I'd rather we go grab a beer with friends and take care of it later. Sometimes my approach is necessary, but oftentimes hers is what gets us on top of our game for the holidays. So, for that, Stacie (when you read this) I'm thankful for you.

I don't write this to paint my wife with the brush of a fun-killer, though. Not true at all. She has a great way of combining getting stuff done and having a good time. I think that's because she has a motor that won't quit. She has a desire to always be accomplishing something and the ability to match it. I appreciate that. (If you ever read scouting reports on players before the NFL draft, you'll find all the best players are describe as having a great motor...Stacie would have been a very high draft pick.)

I also don't write this to paint myself as a loser husband who only wants to hang out with friends and be lazy. No, I just don't mix the two as well. I settle in and work or I shut it down and hang out. Sometimes we need to shut it down and sometimes we need our motors to be humming along. All of this is just another reason why Stacie and I are perfect for each other. You may all get grossed out at my affection now.

Regardless of your slant though (motor on or motor off---how did we get on motors?) it's important to take time to remember what we're celebrating. With so many holidays now, it seems to me we just celebrate. Why? Who cares! Let's party!

St. Patrick's Day!!! Yay!!! Drink green beer!!!!! Awesome!!!! Why...? Oh, cuz St. Patrick ran all the snakes out of Ireland. What? Why do we care?

Halloween!!! Yay!!! Get dressed up!!!! Get free candy!!!! Act like a fool!!!! Why...? Oh, cuz it's All Hallows Eve, the night before All Saints Day. And people dressed up as ghosts and ghouls and went to homes demanding offerings to keep the real ghosts and ghouls away...What...? Really...

And then there's Christmas. Yay!!! Christmas Trees and Santa!!! Presents!!!! Time off of work!!!! But why...because we celebrate the birth of Jesus, God's Son who offered Himself up as the sacrifice for mankind. The one who paid the ultimate price of death so that we could have a way to eternal life with God. (Of course, this required His resurrection as well.)(Side note - I know that people speak of a Pagan holiday that Christians overtook as their own and turned it into what we know as Christmas, but let's be honest, modern Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus.)

Maybe it's Chicago, but there's a lot of folks up here who celebrate Christmas, not just a holiday or one of the other religious holidays around this time, but Christmas. And they celebrate Christmas while having no regard for Christ, with no claim of being a Christian, much the way they celebrate St. Patrick's Day with no regard for St. Patrick and without being Irish.

I'm not saying they can't or shouldn't. But I do find it interesting.

There's plenty of people running around (or just being lazy) and not truly celebrating. It's just a holiday to check off of the list and have as much fun as possible around. I'm not saying they don't cherish family and friends or that they don't truly have a heart for the season. But as a Christian, I feel like it is important to take a step back and a deep breath and celebrate the birth of my Savior, who knew exactly who I'd be inside and out, the good and the bad, and still chose to take my place when my debt came time to be paid.

So, Merry Christmas to each and every one of you three. My own three wisemen coming to visit my blog at Christmas...where's my frakincense and myrrh?

Monopoly City Streets

2009-09-19T08:36:00.003-05:00

Remember when you were a kid and you'd get into crazy long games of Monopoly with your friends (or in my case with my brother and cousins, Kyle and Kari). We'd stay up all night long playing that game, trying to bankrupt our competitors to become the world's newest tycoon.

Then as we got older, remember how you stopped wanting to play Monopoly as much. You once loved the game, but now you noticed something about it...it never ends. Never.

You'd play all day and all night, but now everyone playing was old enough to know how to now get into bankruptcy. Maybe Trait would grab the trains, I'd gobble up the light blue and yellow streets, Kari would get the utilities and some other minor properties, Kyle would snag Boardwalk and Park Place, then we'd all build and build and just hand money back forth until we got tired of playing.

Then we just quit playing because, really, what was the point?

I don't remember the last time I played Monopoly. Then yesterday I saw this:

Monopoly City Streets.

At first, I thought, "This is brilliant." Monopoly and Google Maps teamed up to make the whole world a giant Monopoly board. I started looking for streets to buy in Chicago and Dallas. A lot of streets were already bought up. There were buildings placed on the streets; you can now build stadiums and all sorts of crazy attractions.

But, then, I read this: "YOU MUST LOG IN EVERYDAY TO RECEIVE YOUR RENTAL" and "If, after 2 weeks, there has not been any activity on your account, the bank will repossess all of your streets."

This is truly the game of Monopoly that never ends. Not only does it never end, but if you want to win, you have to get online everyday to earn your rental payments. How many people right now are wasting their time doing this? Probably a lot. Count me out of this one, please.

But very ingenious idea, Monopoly and Google.

My Right to Health Care

2009-09-09T19:52:00.004-05:00

Alright, y'all asked for it, so I'm going to give you my dos pesos on American Health Care.

...ok, so maybe nobody actually asked for it, but that doesn't mean I can't throw out my thoughts, right? This is America. Land of the free and all.

I'm going to take the health care issue from the first person. It's so easy to talk about health care when you are talking about someone else, like some dude from Delaware and his ailing grandmother or a man with a debilitating illness in Omaha. But what about where the rubber meets the road? What happens when I think about me being that grandmother?

Hmmm...actually, let's go with me being the man from Omaha, what say ye?

Do I have a right to health care? Say I'm sick. I have insurance, but it stopped covering my costs at about $10,000 for some reason. My health care will cost me $150,000 and I may or may not get better. I'm a middle class dude and the $150,000 bill will force me into bankruptcy.

Do I have a right, as an American, to have my illness treated without paying for it myself?

I must emphatically say "no" I do not have a right to health care.

"But your either broke or dead then!"

Yeah. Under the current system, that is true. But that still doesn't mean I have a right to health care. And you know why that is?

Because in order for me to obtain health care I have to take another American's life by force.

"What...?"

Yep. Let's talk about the doctor, the guy or gal that knows how to save my life or at least salvage it. How did she get the tools to do that?

She worked her tail off, that's how. She sacrificed her time (time I spent not becoming a doctor) to get great grades in college, get into med school, graduate med school, go through internships and residency and everything else and became a doctor.

So, if I sit here and claim a right to health care, I am claiming ownership over that doctor's life. I cannot make that claim as a freedom loving American. I cannot in good conscience say that her skills and abilities are something that I have a claim on.

I believe that doctors have worked harder, studied longer and are probably smarter than I am, therefore, I believe that they should make every dime that they can for the service they provide, and to say that I have a right to their service means that either they perform it for free or someone else is taxed (taking their time and life) to pay for my health care.

And that's essentially what claiming a right to health care boils down to for me. I mean, think about the things that truly are our rights: life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness.

The right to speak freely without fear of being punished by the government for that speech (but not necessarily speech without consequences). The right to bear arms (meaning the government isn't the only one with the guns aka "power of force".) And others, such as the right to face the witnesses against us in a trial, the right to not have excessive punishment levied upon us, etc. None of the rights we claim in our Constitution are also burdens upon other people, in effect stripping them of their rights.

Undoubtedly, there are many issues with the current system of health care in America, but this idea of a right to health care that keeps creeping up is something that really gets under my skin. I'll probably need to have another blog laying out what I would do for American health care if I were king of the world. In fact, I think I will, but for now I'll just start with a bit of a tease of topics I'll broach:

What has happened to charity in America? I promise this relates to health care.
Why is health care so expensive? If nobody (or only a very few) can afford health care, how can doctors and hospitals stay in business?
Are doctors making too much money? (But wait, I thought you just said that doctors deserve every dime they can make?)
The last time you went to the doctor, how much did it cost? I don't care what you paid. What was the cost?
On what planet does it make sense to have health insurance tied to employment?
Is health insurance really insurance?

There you have it, my foray into major issues on Come and Blog It. I don't claim to be the smartest man in the world (though I am the fastest and strongest), so critique away. But I do believe that no one will ever convince me that I have a claim on a service that can only be provided by another individual.

Come and Blog It Annual Prediction of How the NFL Season Will Play Out

2009-08-27T17:33:00.016-05:00

This may be the earliest I have ever jumped into my annual NFL predictions, which if you'll kindly notice has a name now. Kind of rolls right off the tongue. Then it lands on the floor and explodes and gets all over your shoes. Sorry about that.

Technically it's about the same time as last year, but I usually get through Week 3 of the preseason before diving in to my picks.

There are a couple of reasons for the early timing of this post:

First off, I normally like to wait until most of the preseason has played out in order to have a better grasp on injuries, rookies, new coaches and players, etc. However, I've come to the realization that none of that really matters. Tom Brady was injured on the first play of the regular season last year; the Patriots still went 11-5, but missed the playoffs. Had he been injured in the preseason, I would've predicted their season to be a total disaster.

And let's be honest, with all of that preseason info thrown in last year, I correctly predicted 2 of the division champions and only 5 of 12 playoff teams. But that's what makes the NFL the most popular sports league in this country. It is a league where anything is possible and this time of year in particular optimism reigns supreme.

Secondly, I've been holding out all year for a true summer, and I just don't think it's coming. We've had a couple of really warm days, much more so than last year anyway. But this summer the consistency has been way off. It's 66 and raining today. It's August. The average temperature for July here was 68.9 degrees. Are you freaking kidding me? Much like Dr. Evil's request for sharks with freakin' laser beams on their heads, I have only one simple request as well: a July with a freakin' average temperature in the 70s!

I guess neither one of us will get our way anytime soon. That being the case, I figured I might as well embrace that which cometh with the autumn: the NFL, baby!

So, here we go. You and me. No testing the temperature of the water; we're just diving in, head first with no floaties. I don't really know what that analogy means, but nevertheless, I will see you on the other side. I've sprinkled some videos in for your entertainment as well (and mine). You'll notice a theme: they're all pretty old and pretty entertaining. That's a good theme if you ask me.

COME AND BLOG IT 2009 PREDICTION OF HOW THE NFL SEASON WILL PLAY OUT!!

Usually I start out with the AFC North, my team's home division. This year I figured I'd change it up. Let's go West to East. Left to Right. It'll be just like reading. Try to keep up...

NFC WEST

The Cardinals. Who saw that coming? Now this division has me a little confused. Seattle thinks they're going to compete again now that they took Housh away from my Bengals. Grrr. And now that Hassleback is apparently healthy. I think the Seahawks will be better than last year, but that's like saying I think the next movie that I watch (anything) will be better than the last movie that I watched (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls.) It's hard to watch a worse movie than that one. And the 'Hawks will have to work to have a worse year than last season. The question now becomes "can the Cardinals build off of last year's success?" I think they can. They have a really nice offense and a defense that is improving. So, against all that history has told me, here goes.

Prediction

ARIZONA CARDINALS

2. Seattle Seahawks - getting old
3. St. Louis Rams - getting healthy
4. San Francisco 49ers - getting on-the-job training

AFC WEST

This division got interesting in a hurry during the off season. Maybe in a bad way, but definitely interesting. Jay Cutler was a little peeved at Denver for firing their coaches and started whining. Then new coach Josh McDaniels sat Cutler down and said hey man we love you; you're our dude. And then immediately tried to trade for Matt Cassel. Cutler got super angry, demanded a trade and ended up getting traded to the Chicago Bears. All of this while Cassel went to division rival Kansas City. And once all of this went down, Brandon Marshall, troubled yet talented Denver receiver, has now decided he wants a trade, too. But since they traded Cutler, there's no way they want to trade Marshall. They'll head down a very slippery slope then. It's a bit confusing, but fun. Kind of like this:

At the end of the day, it probably doesn't matter because the Chargers are the cream of this crop. Although I like what the Chiefs are building, they just won't be there yet.

Prediction

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

2. Denver Broncos - still have talent
3. Kansas City Chiefs - still have offensive issues
4. Oakland Raiders - still have Al Davis

NFC NORTH

Much the same as the AFC West got more interesting, so did the NFC North. The Bears were the beneficiaries of Denver's inept HR moves, so now Chicago is believing they've finally found a quarterback. Especially since the only one they've ever had do anything for them was this guy:

Outrageousness indeed. That's not even a word.

Will finally having a QB put the Bears into Super Bowl contention? I don't think so. That defense has been on a downhill slide since their last Super Bowl run. And the division is filled with some good offenses, the Lions notwithstanding, of course.

This division comes down to the Vikings or Packers. If the Packers can even improve their defense a little, they could be a very tough match up for the rest of the NFC. Plus they serve a chili cheese dog at Lambeau where the cheese is mac and cheese...that should win them a title more often than it does.

Prediction

GREEN BAY PACKERS

2. Minnesota Vikings - no good QB playing
3. Chicago Bears - no good WR playing
4. Detroit Lions - no good football player playing

AFC NORTH

Obviously, I'm picking the Bengals to win this division. I mean did you see the Ocho kick that extra point? What else do you need to win it all!!!? Okay, so I'm not picking the Bengals. I want to because I want them to win. If I want it bad enough it can happen, right?

Actually, I'm beginning to have injury concerns for my boy Carson Palmer. He has not played a lot of football lately if you haven't noticed, and now he rolls up his ankle in preseason play...not a good sign. I believe if the Bengals get a full year out of Palmer they compete for the division title. But that's mainly because of their much improved defense. If the offense can even become a shadow of its former self and have an ordinary top 15 defense that could be enough.

But it's a tough division. Baltimore never seems to run out of good players and I'd write about Pittsburgh, but everyone knows about them already: great D, manageable O, wins Super Bowls.

Oh forget it! I'm picking the Bungles! I was wrong about everything last year, so maybe this will be an unexpected correct pick.

Prediction

CINCINNATI BENGALS

2. Pittsburgh Steelers - probably going to be the ones who really win the North
3. Baltimore Ravens - probably going to finish second in the North
4. Cleveland Browns - probably going to wish they were in the NFC West

NFC SOUTH

I think I've picked New Orleans to win this division two years in a row now. And two years in a row the Saints have let me down, despite Mr. Brees and his fantastic throwing arm. So now, I'm going a new route. I really like what the Falcons are doing in the post-Vick era. Matt Ryan appears to be the real deal. Michael Turner can run, White and Jennings can catch and now they went out and got Tony Gonzalez to be a security blanket of sorts for Ryan. And they've done all of this while maintaining a decent defense. I think this division will play tough, but I really like the Atlanta Falcons.

Prediction

ATLANTA FALCONS

2. Carolina Panthers - great running game, iffy QB play at times
3. New Orleans Saints - great passing game, iffy everything else at times
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - great weather, iffy football

AFC SOUTH

Can Indianapolis maintain its very sound footballing into a Tony Dungee-less era? As long as it's not a Peyton Manning-less era, all is well with Colts football. I believe a repositioning year of sorts took place for the Colts last season. I don't want to call it a rebuilding year because it wasn't really. Marvin Harrison was there, but he wasn't. The running game was there, but it wasn't. Manning was adjusting to new players; they were adjusting to him. And through all of that, the Colts still had a nice year.

The Titans will be very strong this year, too. They are a solid stable organization with two pretty fantastic running backs. Unfortunately for the other guys in this division this probably spells out a pretty tough year. I could see the Texans making some noise, but I say that every year. And Jacksonville is never a slouch of a team, but despite last year's second place finish, I think this is still Manning's division and everyone else is just playing in it.

Prediction

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

2. Tennessee Titans - Can Kerry Collins still get it done?
3. Houston Texans - Can they get out of their own way?
4. Jacksonville Jaguars - Can they ever find a decent WR?

NFC EAST

Usually a difficult division for me to predict, the NFC East has made it no easier this year. About the only thing that I can guarantee is that the Redskins will finish last. I'm having a hard time taking the Cowboys seriously. Ever since Tony Romo botched the hold in their playoff game against the Seahawks, this team has seemed more like a caricature of itself than a true Dallas Cowboys team. So for me, this thing comes down to a Giants team that I always seem to under appreciate and an Eagles team that I constantly distrust because of Donovan McNabb's accuracy issues.

What to do, what to do? Gotta go with the G-Men here. Manning seems to be improving and gaining his teammates confidence. The ground game looks good. Kevin Boss is a nice tight end. I said is, not has. And the defensive line seems to be locked and loaded again. If you get pressure on the quarterback, that quarterback becomes mediocre. Whether it's Tom Brady or Rex Grossman, they are going to struggle.

Predictions

NEW YORK GIANTS

2. Dallas Cowboys - Will the real Dallas Cowboys please stand up?
3. Philadelphia Eagles - Will Brian Westbrook hold up?
4. Washington Redskins - Will Chris Cooley ever shut up? (I kid, I like Cooley and his antics.)

AFC EAST

Two years ago, the Patriots were on the verge of another Super Bowl title when Eli Manning and the Giants D-Line defeated the 18-0 team, thwarting their efforts to surpass the 1972 Miami Dolphins as the only team to go a full season without losing. Last year, before the train even left the station, all-world QB and part time male model Tom Brady was lying in pain on the turf, out for the season. You'd think the Patriots would've been done at that point, but somehow (Matt Cassel) rebounded to go 11-5 yet still missed the playoffs. Now, where there was no debate before, some are arguing amongst themselves about whether Pittsburgh may be the team of this decade. Some say if the Steelers can get another world championship this year, they could unseat the Team of the Early 2000s as team of the...00s.? The 2000s? How do you say that anyway?

Regardless. Right now I picture Bill Belechick standing in front of this year's Lombardi Trophy saying these words:

I'm not going to stand in his way. So, Patriots, you get the nod.

Prediction

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

2. Miami Dolphins - Love that Wildcat, sick of the word "Wildcat"
3. New York Jets - Love that Sanchez, sick of Rex Ryan
4. Buffalo Bills - Love me some me, sick of T.O.

PLAYOFFS...?! PLAYOFFS...?!

NFC:

1. New York Giants
2. Atlanta Falcons
3. Green Bay Packers
4. Arizona Cardinals

Wild Cards:

5. Minnesota Vikings
6. Dallas Cowboys

AFC:

1. New England Patriots
2. San Diego Chargers
3. Indianapolis Colts
4. Cincinnati Bengals

Wild Cards:

5. Pittsburgh Steelers
6. Tennessee Titans

SUPER BOWL:

ARIZONA CARDINALS

VS.

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

CHAMPIONS:

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

Who Knows Where Thoughts Come From, They Just Appear

2009-08-17T12:27:00.007-05:00

So, the official brother of Come and Blog It, Trait over at The Contemplative Tulsan (which I would have named "Tulsa Spelled Backwards is A Slut") recently posted a Random Thoughts piece. I like to do those every now and then and was inspired to do something I've been thinking about for a while.

I will use my Blackberry to take down the random thoughts that rattle around in my skull while I'm driving around selling tools. Then when I get home tonight, I'll post it.

You never know what I'll see or hear that will inspire my thought.

This should be interesting.

1) Where'd Kotter go? Was he gone long? What was he doing? I know everyone was really excited to have him back, but where the heck was he?

2) One of my accounts is hosting a charity bbq in September. They want me to give them something to raffle off. I say I'll see what I can do, but also say, why don't I also support you with a special deal on our tools during the event. Dude totally freaks out about not wanting to look like he's using a charity event to make money. Wants the event to just be about raising money for the charity. Thinks it would look bad to use it to make money.

Really dude? Who cares if you make money and raise money at the same time? Plus, like anyone thinks you're doing this 100% out of the kindness of your heart. If that were the case, you'd have this think in a park somewhere not in your store's parking lot.

If you were reading Atlas Shrugged right now like me, you'd be shaking your head at this, too.

3) The Fox River in northern Illinois is really pretty. I'd like to canoe it sometime. Or maybe kayak it. Canoes and kayaks are pretty much the same thing except you have more room for snacks in a canoe. I like snacks while boating, so I'd probably canoe it.

4) I miss The Ticket in Dallas. Great radio. I don't think there's a funnier radio segment than "Gay or Not Gay."

5) I love electricity. I mean, seriously, how cool is that stuff? And how cool is it that man harnessed this energy current that can totally kill him? While everyone was else was cowering during thunderstorms, crazy Ben Franklin was saying, "I wonder if I can catch the flash of light in the sky and do something with it." And he did.

Then crazy dudes like Edison and the extremely underrated Tesla took it to a whole new level. Sometimes I wish I had studied electricity, but then I realize that I probably have my screws secured too tightly to do anything spectacular like those guys.

6) So, I keep a pen clipped onto my shirt all the time. A salesman should have a pen and business cards on him at all times, no excuses. Well, about 3 visits ago, I went to use my pen and couldn't find it. I went back to my truck. I looked everywhere. Nothing.

I just found it. It was hanging out inside my shirt, gettin' all cozy with my belly button. I guess I missed when I went to clip it on.

7) I've met a couple of guys within the last week whose wives just up and left them. I have no idea what to say to that. It sucks. I don't feel like that will ever be something I'll go through, but it still challenges me to be the best husband I can be. Hopefully, I'm that already to her. And it makes me hurt for them. A lot of the time I have to write down things or I forget to pray for them. Not this. I feel like every couple of hours I get burdened to lift these dudes up.

8) I like to sing songs from The Sound of Music and get them stuck in other people's heads. By people I mean, Stacie.

"How do you solve a problem like Maria..."

"Edelweis, edelweis, every morning you greet me..."

"The hills are alive........with the sound of music....."

I hope I didn't just have my man card yanked. The Sound of Music has some very manly stuff in it: Nazis, rugged mountains, intrigue,, double agents, and rampant male chauvinism. It also has all the singing...and nuns...and making clothes out of curtains...and all the singing...

9) Good night, Wesley. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.

Well, there you have it. A day riding around with Ty's brain. Hope you found it to be...better than what you would have been doing otherwise.

Where've Y'all Been?

2009-07-18T17:24:00.004-05:00

My blog has been looking all over for you.

Last time we saw you was sometime in April. You may think that this is my fault, but you'd be looking at the situation all wrong. No. You see, my blog and I have been out looking for you.

In May, we went to Milwaukee for a week to look for you. Twice. You weren't there which wasn't entirely surprising, but we had to start somewhere, right? Since I was in Milwaukee and my company was putting on some training sessions, I decided to participate in those. I was there anyway, right?

Then later in May we went to Dallas to see if we could find you. We didn't find you, but we did have a great time celebrating our little niece, Hallie's, first birthday and we saw lots of family. Me, Come and Blog It and my wife.

We also looked for y'all on the golf course once in May. I shot a 108. You weren't there either. Well, you weren't in the rough, the water or any of the sand traps. It's possible you were on the fairways or the greens.

Then, in early June, we found one of you. My cuz, Kelli came up to Chi to hang out. We had a really good time looking for the rest of you. We looked at a Reckless Kelly concert and at Mary Poppins downtown. No luck. We looked for you at the Green City Market in Lincoln Park and ate some delicious crepes while our eyes darted back and forth scanning the area. We even looked for you during my flag football playoff game. Our quarterback must have been looking for you, too because he threw 4 interceptions leading us to a nice beat down.

Kelli left town then, and we were back to square one.

Next thing I knew, it was my birthday. We decided to take a break from looking for you then. It was my birthday after all. I turned 29. I contemplated writing something poignant and introspective about that to try and lure you out, but I knew you wouldn't fall for that kind of cheese. Plus, the more I thought about it the less it seemed that turning 29 mattered.

After my birthday, we went back to the hardcore search for my readers. We looked at Million Dollar Quartet which is a musical that relives the one and only time Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee Lewis and Elvis Presley played together at Sun Records. We were really surprised to not find any of you there because it was awe-wait for it-some!

Then we checked at Schuba's at The Damnwells concert. Not surprised you weren't there. I've been to two of their live shows and they just haven't wowed me. Love their music, just not live.

Then, I put on a fake mustache and we went looking for you...you know, just in case you were intentionally hiding from us. We went to see a band called Stache, too while we were at it. No luck there either.

You had to be sad since we couldn't find you anywhere, so we thought what better place to go than the House of "Blues". We had a whole team of folks out looking for you there. We even got way up high in an opera box so we could look down on the poor saps in general admission...sorry, but we thought you might be one of the saps.

The Avett Brothers happened to be playing there, too. You weren't there, but man, you should have been. The Avett Brothers live is one of the coolest musical experiences on the face of the earth right now. I would describe it for you right now, but trying to use mere words to describe that show would be useless and futile. Find out when they are coming to your area, call my friends Cory and Millie and go with them. Trust me, they'll come for the Avetts.

We spent the Fourth of July searching for you with my friends Lance and Kali. However, unless you were at Game Stop or on my couch while we played Grand Slam Tennis and Mario Strikers then once again my search was a failure. We also tried to find you at Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinder. Once again, no luck. But man, was that a delicious place to look for y'all.

Finally, we thought we'd try looking for you in Dallas again since we were a bit preoccupied during our last search there. We looked for you at Trinity Hall with my brother-in-law and soon to be brother-in-law. Then we searched La Hacienda Ranch. After that we searched The Village Church during my wife's little sister's wedding. But it was 103 degrees that day and I was in a black suit, so I probably was a little to focused on me to find you that day.

After all of that, I thought of one last place that I hadn't looked. And here you are. All of you, right there at your own computer. Some of you are procrastinating at work. A few of you are just killing time on a Saturday afternoon. Many of you are uncontrollably weeping tears of joy now that we've reconnected. I can't say I blame you for that.

Well, I feel much better now that I've found y'all. Try not to go disappearing on me again for so long if you can help it, okay?

Apparently Our Give a Damn is Broken

2009-04-09T13:15:00.003-05:00

Today is a very busy work day for me, but interestingly enough I've gotten a second or two of downtime where I can't get to a meaningful account call nor can I move on to my next scheduled event.

So, as I'm caught between things, I thought it'd be fun to try something new: blogging from my Blackberry. So, hopefully this works out.

It's been said you can tell how popular a pastor is by how many people show up for church, but you can tell how popular God is by how many show for the prayer meeting.

That's the first thing that came to my mind as I voted in the Illinois 5th District special election to fill Rham Emmanuel's vacated Congressional seat.

I voted late in the day and was the 38th voter at my polling place. Later, I learned that the Democratic candidate Mike Quigley won the election with 70% of the vote.

Voter turnout was a paltry 9%.

Are you kidding me? Quigley is just another typical Chicago politician. He preaches change, but he's as wrapped up in the Chicago machine as anyone else.

I know that I live in a heavily Democrat populated area, but you can't tell me there aren't 25,000 Republicans in it. That's what it would've taken to defeat Quigley and push the contest to Rosanna Pulido, a true candidate of change.

Unfortunately the mantra of change is the pastor everyone loves, but actually showing up to vote, that's like going to the prayer meeting on Monday night. That's just a little too much committment.

6% of the population (70% of9%) chose who represents our district in Washington.

No wonder politicians think they can do anything. Nobody cares.

I guess we get the government we deserve.

Day One down. Can I get to Day 2?

2009-03-30T18:22:00.002-05:00

P90X.

Ever heard of it?

I decided a few weeks ago that it was something I needed to try for a couple of reasons. But before I get into that, let me tell you what exactly is this P90X I speak of. To put it simply, it is a workout program you can do from the comfort of your own home.

To give be more specific, you pay a guy to come to your home and smack you around every morning. Well, he doesn't actually show up. But he's right there on my TV, gloating about how he could "do a hundred of these push ups" while I struggle to execute my 12th.

What possessed me to invite such a barbarian into my home?

Great question. See, my friend PJ introduced me to the program a few weeks ago. He's been doing it, and it's muscled him up a bit. I've been wanting to get back the muscle definition I used to have for a while now, but even when I would go to the gym I always did the same things and never really progressed like I wanted.

Plus, the way I see it, I can order P90X, buy the necessary equipment I need and I'm out $300 or so. To keep my gym membership (in Chicago, mind you) for a year is almost a grand. Granted P90X is a 90 day workout. But let's be honest, did I go to the gym 90 days last year?

Actually, I think I did, but certainly not enough to justify the expense. And once I finish this program, hopefully, I'll be fit enough to maintain my sweet bod with regular running and biking and push ups and such. We'll see.

There's another little thing, the mean man in the TV has insisted I do.

Eat smartly.

He even gave me a book.

I should throw it at him.

I kid, I kid. I actually eat okay. Thankfully, I married a woman who, other than her notorious candy-loving sweet tooth and occasional craving for cheap hot wings, likes to eat fresh and healthy. Ergo, I eat fresh and healthy.

But still, with me doing all of this work, I don't want to screw it up by eating so-so. So, I guess the only bacon I'll be seeing for a while will be this guy:

Hit me with that fine strip o' bacon!

Bye-bye, Reese's Pieces that I love so much. Adios, too much chips and guacamole.

Those are pretty much my food vices.

I did Day One this morning. I was pretty sure that I was going to throw up half-way through, but I just paused it and laid on the floor with my eyes closed for a few minutes. Then I unpaused and the jerk told me that it was okay to push the pause button but don't sit down. He suggested I "shake it out", whatever that means. "It" was definitely almost "out" though, for sure.

Can I make Day Two? I think so. But Day 90? Lord, beer me strength.

The Other Side of the Table

2009-02-27T15:55:00.004-06:00

I've had a thought several times, but for some reason or another I just haven't put it out there yet, but basically it goes like this:

There are a lot of seriously unqualified people out there affecting people's lives.

Exhibit A: I was recently at the University of Illinois doing first-round interviews of students for our recruiting process.

Read into that what you will. The point is, I'm looking across the table at these kids, and I'm thinking, "I'm just a kid. What am I doing?" And I'm betting they're thinking, "Seriously? This guy's just a kid." I don't know. Maybe I don't look like a kid anymore, but although I'm almost out of my upper middle twenties, I don't know that I'll ever see my self as a real adult.

It was weird being on the other side of the table for a change. And you know what was the worst? I was nervous. Not as nervous as when I interviewed for jobs, but I still had a few butterflies in the basket, yet I was supposed to be "in charge." Why was I nervous to grill some kids on why they should come work for us? Who knows...?

Exhibit B: Congress.

Take a little trip through the bios of our Senators and Representatives if you've got time. Most of them have zero experience in the real world outside of politics. Sure they were smart enough to get into a great school, get a law degree or whatever, but why does that coupled with getting elected a few times all of the sudden give you the necessary experience to make decisions that affect the entire country and parts of the world? Seriously, just begin to peruse the bios of the people running this country and think about whether you'd hire these folks to manage a car wash for you, let alone decide how to confiscate and then spend billions upon billions of dollars.

Exhibit C: High School Coaches

I made several decisions and formulated several thoughts and ideas in high school based on information gathered from my high school coaches. Now, I'm not lumping every coach into this category. I know a lot of good ones who may even wind up being great ones. Coaches that I would have no problem teaching my future-as-of-yet-non-existent children things. Take my friend Zach for example. Great guy, I'm sure a great coach and one who really imparts valuable things to kids.

But many of my coaches didn't even want to be coaches. As I look back with "more grown-up" eyes. I can see that their intersection with my life was just a pit stop on the way to figuring out who they were. But there they were, teaching me how to block and tackle and hit like they were experts. There they were, giving advice on life and lessons on how to live as a young man as though they had perfected it. There they were, putting me and many others I'm sure in the wrong position because that was easier than taking the time to figure out where a young kid might be most successful down the road.

All of these examples, me included, are instances where one person or a group of people make important decisions and perform important tasks that affect other people's lives. I just don't believe people take that responsibility seriously enough. And I certainly don't believe that just because a person is in a position of authority that means they are qualified for said position of authority.

Growing up is weird. It changes my perspective. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

The Cardinals, and Other Near Misses

2009-02-06T12:31:00.007-06:00

I was so close to picking the Cardinals to go to the Super Bowl this year...I mean, they were pretty much third on my list of four possible teams that could be in the big game. It really came down to me just not being certain if their improved defense would carry them past the NFC Championship Game.

Man, I wish I could have that one back.

Ok, so, if you believe what I just wrote you obviously did not read my annual entry of prognostication on how the NFL season will play out. I can't believe you missed it; it was riveting. Highly entertaining.

However, for what it brought to the table in entertainment value, it may have lacked just as much in accuracy. But unlike other "experts" who throw around opinions and never take responsibility for them, I feel the need to step up, face the music and be held accountable for my awful predictions.

So, I present the Annual Come and Blog It Prognostication on How the NFL Season Will Play Out Music Facing Entry!

Disclaimer 1: this entry contains sports related material. I promise to do my best to make such material entertaining for all, but if "sports really aren't you're thing" you should probably check out an archived post for fun today.

Let's start with my Divisional Predictions:

AFC NORTH

Prediction Actual

1.Pittsburgh 1.Pittsburgh
2. Cleveland 2.Baltimore
3. Cincinnati 3.Cincinnati
4. Baltimore 4.Cleveland

Now, you'll notice here that I was 2 for 4. Not too shabby. I was surprisingly accurate in some of my comments as well. For instance:

"...the Steelers are having some offensive line issues, the Ravens are having major QB issues, the Bengals have defense and offensive sync issues and the Browns have defensive back and 'was last year for real' issues."

Joe Flacco ruined my Ravens comment, but other than that, I'd say the rest of those comments were very accurate this year. The Bengals defense did start to find some identity towards the end of the season.

My best prediction from this division came with these words however:

"...I see the Steelers having the most success because Ben Rothlisberger is a QB that is capable of making the line look good with some mobility and the fact that he is 8'10" and refuses to fall down when someone hits him."

How true was that this season? I must have watched 'Berger take about 90 hits and not go to the ground, and that was just in the playoffs.

Now I have to put this video here to wash the stains of Steeler praise off of my blog:

NFC NORTH

Prediction Actual

1. Green Bay 1.Minnesota
2. Minnesota 2.Chicago
3. Chicago 3.Green Bay
4. Detroit 4.Detroit

Wow, I missed on everything here. Here's my quote of significance from the prediction post:

"...I think the Packers have this thing. They return a pretty solid defense from last year and if Rodgers can just drive the bus through the parking lot that is the NFC North without crashing it into a light pole the Pack should win the division title."

Turns out, Rodgers did a helluva job. But that defense that I deemed "solid" turned out to be the bad drivers on this team.

And I thought the Lions would be bad, but 0-16? That takes skill.

AFC SOUTH

Prediction Actual

1. Indianapolis 1.Tennessee
2. Houston 2.Indianapolis
3. Jacksonville 3.Houston
4. Tennessee 4.Jacksonville

Indianapolis did a good job of letting everybody else get a bit of lead before Peyton did his thing and propelled the Colts to the 2 spot. This Titans team really caught me off guard as you'll notice from this quote:

"...The rest of the team around VY is a bit average."

See, what I meant to say was they should bench VY because he is making this team a bit average. I don't know how that wound up on my screen, but it was obviously not what I intended. I am an expert.

NFC SOUTH

Prediction Actual

1. New Orleans 1.Carolina
2. Tampa Bay 2.Atlanta
3. Atlanta 3.Tampa Bay
4. Carolina 4.New Orleans

What!? Oh I can't believe this happened! This one somehow inverted itself in my prediction post. I am calling blogger and registering a complaint right now. To think they can make me, an expert, look like such a fool and that I'll just sit here and take it! They messed with the wrong expert.

In my defense I did say:

"...But seriously, the division makes me feel like Kramer trying to fill in for Movie Phone.

'Why Don't You Just Tell Me What Order You're Going to Finish In!?'"

So once again:

AFC WEST

Prediction Actual

1. San Diego 1.San Diego
2. Denver 2.Denver
3. Oakland 3.Oakland
4. Kansas City 4.Kansas City

"...This should be a pretty straightforward division as well."

I couldn't have said it better myself. In fact, I did say that. It was so straightforward that the Chargers had to win their last 4 while the Broncos lost their last 3 to win the division.

You don't think Come and Blog It had anything to do with that, do you? You do? Well, of course I did! Here's how it went down. I called up Norv Turner and told him to get his boys in gear or I'd use the power of the blogosphere to make sure that he never worked in the NFL again. Ever. Then I called up Mike Shanahan and told him that I was cashing in the favor he owed me (I let him have the title of Ultimate Leader for his bio a few years back; he'd been begging me to let him use it for years, and finally I relented. But I said, "You owe me man!") So, I had Mike lose the last three games of the year, so that I'd pick one division correctly. I assured him that I would use the power of the blogosphere to make sure he did not get fired. I kinda forgot to do that...I got a little busy with work. And the playoffs were just so dang good...oops. Sorry, Mike. Call me.

NFC WEST

Prediction Actual

1. Seattle 1.Arizona
2. St. Louis 2.San Francisco
3. Arizona 3.Seattle
4. San Francisco 4.St. Louis

I was this close on the Cardinals. I mean it. Check out what I said:

"...The Cardinals and 49ers are not good football teams right now. Maybe they'll prove me wrong soon..."

See that. Maybe they (meaning the Cardinals) will prove me wrong (meaning go to the Super Bowl) soon (meaning this year). Now read it again:

"...The Cardinals and 49ers are not good football teams right now. Maybe the Cardinals will go to the Super Bowl this year..."

That's the kind of expert analysis you can take to the bank. And year in and year out I even do the dirty work for you by putting it in those tiny little analysis rollers for you so the bank doesn't yell at you when you strut in with the good stuff.

AFC EAST

Prediction Actual

1. New England 1.Miami
2. Buffalo 2.New England
3. New York 3.New York
4. Miami 4. Buffalo

I decided after 2006 to never vote against the Patriots as long as Tom Brady was playing for them. I voted for the Patriots this year before I knew Tom Brady would exit the season with an ACL tear. Had I known that, I probably would have picked them third and still would've been wrong.

Buffalo really let me down this year. Much to the chagrin of my friend Meg (a Buffalo native, honorary Texan and die hard Bills fan) I said this about the Bills:

"...They're not exactly at four-time Super Bowl loser potential, but maybe one-time playoff game loser potential."

Granted, this was a bit of a backhanded compliment to the team's rising potential, but given the performance of this team, I now deem the comment justified. In fact, my praise of Lee Evans prior to the season is even that much more embarrassing after what he did to my fantasy football team.

You know what? The Bills are going on notice, Colbert style. Now that makes The Bills and Winter who are on my list. They'd better get cozy because I don't see either one coming off that list any time soon.

NFC EAST

Prediction Actual

1. Dallas 1.New York
2. Philadelphia 2.Philadelphia
3. New York 3.Dallas
4. Washington 4.Washington

The Cowboys blew this one. Granted, Romo getting hurt for 4 games didn't help their cause, but the Cowboys only played up to their potential in 3 or 4 games this year. Maybe their potential is overrated. Then, they get beat 44-6 by the Eagles with the playoffs on the line.

Embarrassing.

Of course, I said this about the Giants:

"...And now that the Giants have lost some of their D-linemen to injury and retirement can they repeat the success of last season?"

I think that was a fair question. And they had a nice season. They just ran into a hot Philly team in the playoffs. But I look for the Giants to perform even better next year now that I saw this bit of journalism:

PLAYOFFS

Not a lot to discuss here folks. I correctly picked only 5 of the 12 playoff teams. Shameful.

And my two Super Bowl contestants didn't even make the playoffs (though at 11-5, it's a bit of a shame, or justice, that the Pats didn't merit an invitation.)

But that's why I, like so many of you, love the NFL. You just never know what might happen. Now I go into sports hibernation until Opening Day, with a brief glimpse at March Madness.

But in the not-so-distant future I will once again put virtual pen to virtual paper and tell you exactly what will happen in the upcoming NFL season. And you can bank on my picks. Because I'm an expert.

It's Important to Build Rapport With Your Audience

2009-01-22T17:06:00.005-06:00

I decided about 5 minutes ago that I was done working for the day. I had a whole list of tasks to get done that I started at 8AM. I have accomplished all that I can for the day; I'm tired, so I decided to do the only thing that made sense to me.

Stop working and go play The Legend of Zelda on my Wii.

Oh, that's right...old school Nintendo on my shiny new toy. Stacie and I played Zelda last night until 11.30. Any of your wives play Nintendo with y'all until 11.30 at night? Didn't think so. I win.

Last night I mentioned that we needed to find Link's boomerang to which Stacie responded, "Who's Link?" Well, it turns out she's not alone in her lack of knowledge. A quick search of the world wide web will inform you that most people think the character you use in The Legend of Zelda is, in fact, Zelda. But Zelda is the princess you are trying to save from the Evil Gannon. I'm pretty sure you don't see her at all in the entire game, so it can be understandable why one might think Link is actually Zelda.

I wrote that last paragraph in order to prove to you the vastness of the knowledge bouncing around in my brain. You see, if I convince you that I am knowledgeable in completely useless things, hopefully you will count me as knowledgeable in very useful things. It's called building rapport with the audience. Each time I build rapport with you in this post, I will note it with an * so that you can pause and really appreciate the moment.

Obviously, I am not saving Princess Zelda right now. Zelda has been in need of saving since July of 1987* so I figure she can wait a few more minutes. A lot has happened over the past few days (such as the PlayStation cell phone being put on hold due to less than desirable technical quality*) and I feel like I should comment.

First, we inaugurated America's first not-completely-white President*. Yes that's a rapport building asterisk there because I'm pretty sure everyone thinks he is black. He is. But he is equally white. Truly a president for all!! Except the Hispanics...and Native Americans...and Asians. Did I pull everyone into my very inclusive circle there. Well, if your ethnicity was not listed this is for you "...and Other/Choose Not to Answer." Actually...that's what President Obama would have to check!

If I missed anybody, I'm pretty sure Joseph Lowery, who helped lead the Montgomery Bus Boycott in 1955*, covered them.

Someday, as a white, I hope to do what is right. Amen.

In related current events, President Bush must have felt lighter than air (to find the weight of air: m/V = p / RT = 101325 N/m2 * 1 m3 / (287 J/kg-K * 273.15 K) = 1.2925 kg/m3)* when he woke up Wednesday morning. The weight of the world ( 6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 kilograms, though technically that is the mass of the earth because we get weight from the earth's gravity which obviously doesn't pull on itself)* was literally off of his shoulders. In the now 7.5 years following 9/11 he has done what he promised to do and ensured no terrorist attack took place on American soil under his watch. Everything else is debatable, but that one point is not. And for that and for his service I say thank you. I had the chance to meet and interact with President Bush once when he was the Governor of the Great State*. He's a good man. Much like I'm sure President Obama is a good man. To disagree with his policies and decisions is one thing, but to treat the man like a dog's turd is a whole other story. I trust that he did what he thought was right and what he thought was best for the country. I trust that Obama will do what he believes is right and best for the country. I'll probably disagree with him a lot, but I will never come close to showing him the disrespect President Bush was showered with daily and hopefully no one else will either. I wonder what a Bush presidency would've looked like if 9/11 never happened...

The Arizona Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl. I did not see that coming. The Cardinals last home playoff game was in 1947 in CHICAGO! And now they've won two home games and a road game and are on their way to Tampa. (Notice I did not put an asterisk next to that Cardinals tidbit because of the overkill that is Super Bowl hype I'm pretty sure most of you already knew that. But for those of you that didn't, add it to that big ol' stack of rapport I've got goin' on.)

I for one hope the Cardinals win. Not because I hate the Steelers with all the burning hotness of 10,000 suns (and I'm talking about the very hot center of the sun which reaches about 27,000,000 degrees F not the chilly 10,000 degree F surface of the sun.)* Okay that is part of the reason. I mean can you blame me. This happened:

But as a fan of a team that loses a lot (roughly a .348 winning percentage since 1991)* I feel like if the Cardinals can get it together, anything is possible. And Kurt Warner is a Renaissance man.

Let's see...PETA decided to rebrand fish as SeaKittens....hahahahahahaha...they hope this gets people to see fish as cute and cuddly not as food...hahahahahahahah....that might be the funniest thing ever. I mean, first they probably should've done SeaPuppies because I'm pretty sure the people that are getting up at 3AM, getting in their truck, going to the lake, boating to their favorite fishing hole and pulling out SeaKittens probably are dog people. Just a guess. They'd probably be okay with a few less cats...that's good stuff. Secondly, you can't just change a name. Shakespeare said it first, a rose by any other name*...

Well, kids, I've gotta jet. I'm taking my wife to see a play tonight. It's got Jeffrey Donovan from Burn Notice in it. If you don't watch Burn Notice, you should. It's kind of like MacGyver, but cooler and newer. New season starts tonight on USA.

I feel like I've built up some great rapport with you here today. We hit on some personal stuff, civil rights, math and science, video game history, and even literature. I'm a wealth of knowledge. Trust me.

The Most Ridiculous Post Ever

2009-01-16T14:22:00.004-06:00

I've got to be honest with you. I mean, if I'm not honest here, then what's the point of putting virtual pen to virtual paper for the world to read. Ok. Maybe 0.00000021% of the world to read. (That would be 15 of the roughly 6,700,000,000 who currently reside on our planet for those who need to know how I got there.)

I don't feel much like writing at this moment. So, why am I writing, you might ask? I can't really blame you for asking such intelligent questions. I've always told everyone that I have the smartest readership of all the "________ and Blog It" titled blogs. There's the readers of Go and Blog It. They're morons. Stay and Blog It's readership: Imbeciles. Leave and Blog It may have the dumbest readers of them all, though, but I think we all know why that is...and because of that author we also know that grain augers, fireworks and an old taxi cab are not toys. Right kids?

But somehow I've gotten off topic. Why write when I feel so unlike writing?

Well, I've had several moments over the past couple of weeks where I've really wanted to write. Something would hit me, and at that moment I would really want to grab my keyboard and pound it like I'm kneading a big ball of dough. A ball of dough that will rise on my computer screen, and once I hit publish, will then bake into a delicious loaf of awesomeness that we'll all slice and butter and devour as if we were aliens from the planet NoDough who've never experienced the sensation of warm bread and melted butter igniting our purple taste buds on our green alien tongues causing us to exclaim, "Scnlets chpaqy!"

Sadly, though, I've been bogged down in the marshy goo of work. I've felt like Bart, the railroad worker turned Sheriff in Blazing Saddles, when he was sinking in the quicksand on the push car. And his boss comes by and throws a rope, but sadly only to salvage the push car, leaving Bart to search for the sunken rails of the train track and inch his way to the solid earth of safety once more. I have yet to find my sunken rails in the mire of work, however. But when I get out I'm definitely gonna (SPOILER ALERT) hit my boss over the head with a shovel, get arrested and scheduled to be hung and then get miraculously freed to become the Sheriff of Rock Ridge.

So, why now? Why this post? Let's start with the second question first. I have several starts to posts that I found interesting at some point, but they weren't inspiring me quite enough especially with inadequate time to address them. And I feel that may be the case because I've been gone for a bit and feel like we need to catch up. So, I thought it best that we reacquaint ourselves with one another before I get into some post full of deep thoughts and challenging rhetoric. Mixed with tear-inducing hilarity, of course.

So, hello, my name is Ty. I like road trips, Robert Earl, reading, reveling, rafting, roller coasters, Ricky Ricardo, Rounders and alliteration.

There. I feel much better. Now, perhaps I will be able to post something with substance.

And as to the second question, which, of course, is actually the first question now moved to the second position: I just had to. I needed a break from working. I had to take my eyes off of the computer screen, close them and just type away. Like this: "i canoot bleieve I'm typing with my eyes closed. this is Awesome@". Actually that wasn't as bad as I was expecting.

I wanted to post. I tried to post. I couldn't post. And then, I said, "No way man! You are posting. Whether you like it or not."

So, I decided to post the most ridiculous things that came to my brain. And I don't know your thoughts, but I'd say, "Goal Achieved." I would say "Mission Accomplished" but that's kind of lost it's meaning unless one is parachuting down to an air craft carrier with a banner behind them that reads "Mission Accomplished" you know? I went to Kinko's but they were all out of banners, so let's just go with "Goal Achieved."

We Didn't Know What to Think of Him...

2008-12-25T09:06:00.003-06:00

Until He Sang "Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad."

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Currently, I am two states closer to Texas, hanging out in Tulsa, Oklahoma with all of my side of the family. Well, most of it anyway. And thus far it has been fantastically entertaining. Families can be that way when they all get together.

My brother had knee-surgery on Monday morning. We got here on Monday evening. So half the time has been spent getting his knee in and out of the rehab machine and helping him out with various necessities. Plus we've got him all hopped up on pain pills. No one minds, but we would obviously all rather he be up and running around with all of us. Poor guy has been down and out for the family craziness.

To top it off, Sara, Trait's wife, came down with strep throat just before his surgery. Sara bounced back with a vengeance Tuesday evening, though, which was great since Donald (my step-dad) had promised to take her and Stacie on a shopping spree for their Christmas present. However that left my mom and I as the only two able bodied people there to cook dinner, care for Cale (my one year old nephew) and care for Trait. We got 'er done, though.

And the girls had a great time on their shopping spree. Two days before Christmas, these two ladies went with Donald to the mall and about three hours later returned with the kind of spoils that would take me 2 weeks of shopping to acquire. Nice work, ladies!

Our two dogs are here, too, and at first were quarantined to the backyard. But if you've ever met Reese and Bradie, you know that they don't like to not be around people, and they are very persistent. So after much back door scratching, we've finally quarantined them to the kitchen, where their main jobs are to not get hair on the carpet in the other rooms and to be vacuum cleaners for the kitchen floor.

There is so much food here, that I can't fathom how we could possibly eat it all. Dessert, enchiladas, casseroles, nachos, Little Debbie snacks, fruit, more dessert, chips, steaks, potatoes, turkey, more dessert...if we can all fit through the door to head out it will be a miracle. All the moms (Angie, my mom, and Sara's mom Kelli) have been cooking up a storm. It is a very delicious Christmas.

I've gotten in one game of Scrabble with my mom so far. It was a barn burner, too. We were tied 250-250 with only about 1/4 of the game to go. I ended up winning but only because I was able to land the word "entertain" on a triple word score. We've also played one game of Cranium with the fam, but we have yet to settle that beautiful Island of Catan. Maybe later.

But the funniest part so far is how often we've had to run back and forth to the store. It's just like the Robert Earl Keen song "Merry Christmas from the Family." The first one was a run for ice. I said to Trait, "Hey man, should I get an extension cord, too." He got the joke. If you know the song, you get it, too. Now we've made four or five subsequent trips to the "Kwik Pak Store" to get "some ice and an extension cord."

But we have yet to make Bloody Mary's "because we all want one." We still have one morning left...

It's great to get to be with my whole family on Christmas. I hope you are enjoying your families this Christmas season as well. And we'd like to wish you all a Merry Christmas from the Family!

Who Doesn't Love Recess?

2008-12-02T09:26:00.010-06:00

Apparently everybody in America.

America declared recess yesterday. And apparently we've been at recess since December of 2007!

But everyone is all like, "Oh no. We're in a recess." and "If we're not in a recess, we're not far from it." and "This recess is really going to hurt my business."

Remember when everyone wanted recess? I mean, in 7th grade once (when recess is supposed to start being a bad thing) we crawled out of the windows to go play Wall Ball and military style basketball when recess was finally offered.

Remember jungle gyms and swing sets and see-saws and football games and freeze tag? Recess is awesome. Why would America not want...hold on a sec.

What's that...? Recess-shun.

Recess-shun?

Same thing right?

No....

Hmmm.....oh....well that kind of changes this post a little.

So, apparently recess and recession are not the same thing. In fact, they are kind of the opposite. Recession is probably more similar with detention. Nobody wants it (except when Zack Morris kept trying to get it because Kelly Kapowski was going to be there.) It's not fun. And you just have to wait it out for 30 minutes to an hour. If this recession is longer than an hour I'm gonna be really pissed. I'm supposed to meet some friends after it to get a coke at Sonic and do the drag.

So, now that we've found ourselves in this detention hall called Recession, what should we do while we're here? Some people have decided to spend the whole hour scheming about how to get out sooner. They're offering bribes of about $750 billion to various school bullies in here with us thinking they can sneak everyone out.

But all that's done is gotten all the bullies in detention riled up and wanting in on the sneak out job. Plus they have to borrow that money from other people not in detention...it's a mess.

Personally, I say we just do our time. Let the clock tick and let's get out of here. But I get the feeling no one else in Recession hall agrees. It seems like everyone wants to find the easy way out. But the bottom line is we're in detention for a reason. Let's do the time and think about what we did wrong and promise never to do it again.

Oh, I forgot, that's called taking responsibility for our actions. People don't do that anymore.

Wait a minute. Two kids in here just agreed with me. One kid named Texas and one kid named South Carolina. Weird parents, I guess. Here's what they had to say:

"Governors Against State Bailouts
Hard to believe, but not everyone in politics wants a free lunch.
By RICK PERRY and MARK SANFORD posted in the Wall Street Journal

As governors and citizens, we've grown increasingly concerned over the past weeks as Washington has thrown bailout after bailout at the national economy with little to show for it.
In the process, the federal government is not only burying future generations under mountains of debt. It is also taking our country in a very dangerous direction -- toward a "bailout mentality" where we look to government rather than ourselves for solutions. We're asking other governors from both sides of the political aisle to join with us in opposing further federal bailout intervention for three reasons.

First, we're crossing the Rubicon with regard to debt.

One fact that's been continually glossed over in the bailout debate is that Washington doesn't have money in hand for any of these proposals. Every penny would be borrowed. Estimates for what the government is willing to spend on bailouts and stimulus efforts for this year reach as much as $7.7 trillion according to Bloomberg.com -- a full half of the United States' yearly economic output.

With all the zeroes in the numbers, it's no wonder Washington politicians have lost track.

That trillion-dollar figure is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to checks written by the federal government that it can't cash. Former U.S. Comptroller General David Walker puts our nation's total debt and unpaid promises, like Social Security, at roughly $52 trillion -- an invisible mortgage of $450,000 on every American household. Borrowing money to "solve" a problem created by too much debt seems odd. And as fiscally conservative Republicans, we take no pleasure in pointing out that many in our own party have been just as complicit in running up the tab as those on the political left.

Second, the bailout mentality threatens Americans' sense of personal responsibility.

In a free-market system, competition and one's own personal stake motivate people to do their best. In this process, the winners create wealth, jobs and new investment, while others go back to the drawing board better prepared to try again.

To an unprecedented degree, government is currently picking winners and losers in the private marketplace, and throwing good money after bad. A prudent investor takes money from low-yield investments and puts them in those that yield better returns. Recent government intervention is doing the opposite -- taking capital generated from productive activities and throwing it at enterprises that in many cases need to reorganize their business model.

Take for example the proposed Big Three auto-maker bailout. We think it's very telling that each of the three CEO's flew on their own private jets to Washington to ask for a taxpayer handout. No amount of taxpayer largess could fix a business culture so fundamentally flawed.

Third, we'd ask the federal government to stop believing it has all the answers.

Our Founding Fathers were clear and deliberate in setting up a system whereby the federal government would only step in for that which states cannot do themselves. An expansionist federal government of the last century has moved us light-years away from that model, but it doesn't mean that Congress can't learn from states that are coming up with solutions that work.

In Texas and South Carolina, we've focused on improving "soil conditions" for businesses by cutting taxes, reforming our legal system and our workers' compensation system. We'd humbly suggest that Congress take a page from those playbooks by focusing on targeted tax relief paid for by cutting spending, not by borrowing.

In the rush to do "something" to help, federal leaders would be wise to take a line from the Hippocratic Oath, and pledge to do no (more) harm to our country's finances. We can weather this storm if we commit to fiscal prudence and hold true to the values of individual freedom and responsibility that made our nation great.

Mr. Perry, a Republican, is the governor of Texas. Mr. Sanford, a Republican, is the governor of South Carolina."

I kinda like these kids, Texas and South Carolina. Maybe we'll finally start to wait this little setback out after all. And while we're in here maybe we can catch up on some schoolwork and learn how to not get sent here again.

But until then, I'm gonna go see if I can find Kelly. I heard she got framed so she'd have to serve detention with us and she's rockin' some awesome early '9os flowery pants...yowza.

Fightin' Texas Aggie Repost

2008-11-27T12:07:00.003-06:00

So, it's Thanksgiving Day and Stacie and I are serving dinner to some friends of ours that are stranded here in Chi-town with us over the holiday. I wanted to post something for those of you who may be bored at your parents' house and are checking every site that you know to pass the time. But since we are cleaning and cooking, the best I can do is revisit a post of Thanksgiving past. 2006 to be precise. Oh and as for the title, when you do something over and you went to Texas A&M, it should be called a "Fightin' Texas Aggie Re-fill in the blank." Rebag if you're going back to bed. Retake if you dropped a course. Rebeer if you need another beer. Re-anything really.

So for your reading pleasure a Fightin' Texas Aggie Repost:

WHO GIVES YOU THE BIRD ON THANKSGIVING?

And I'm not talking about your grandma serving you some delicious turkey either.

I'm talking about driving down the road on Thanks-freaking-giving Day and getting the bird from two dudes in a pickup. Not kids either. One was no less than 45. The other, no less than 60.

Let me take you back there with me. (Do that Wayne's World thing with your hands and make that "doo-dee-doo, doo-dee doo" noise now, please.)

So, I'm driving to my Aunt Nedra's to see my dad's side of the family for Thanksgiving. We got up early that morning, took the dogs to Carrollton and now it's about 8:30 AM, and we are cruising.

The next thing you know there is a cop on the side of the road with someone pulled over. (Now keep in mind...I am not speeding. Been busted for that twice this year already, so I posess extra motivation to drive the speed limit.)

So, what do people do when they see a cop? They all slow way down and get in the lane opposite where he has someone pulled over. So far so good. We all move to the left lane. Then, when you pass by the cop you resume your normal speed.

Here's where our story takes a foul turn. Pun intended.

Everyone but a truck two spots ahead of me speeds up. I can see this guy is on his phone. No big deal if you don't want to speed up, but pull to the right if you're going to go 57 in a 70. He never moves, so the car in front of me begins to pass him on the right.

I think to myself, "Okay...I'll do that, too."

The only problem is that when this guy realizes he's only going 57 and he's being passed on the right he decides to speed up. At this point I am ahead of him, but not so far ahead as to make the safest move into his lane. I see I am coming very quickly upon the truck ahead of me. What to do?

No way am I not getting in here. This dudes just being a jerk now that he knows he's getting passed. So I mash it and slide in between him and the truck, with plenty of room to spare, but I'm sure Mr. Indecisive had to put the brakes on.

Well, now Mr. Indecisive is very decisive. He decides to ride my tail as close as he can. His truck is slightly larger than mine, but I'm not intimidated. I do however decide that if he wants to speed, I'll let him by.

So I get around the semi beside me and pull to the right. He begins to pass me, but instead of passing on by, slows to my speed so we are even and issues his unseasonal gesture. Along with his old man in the seat next to him.

I'm pretty shocked, but pretend not to see it. Don't want to give them any pleasure, you know?

The car behind us saw it, though. And then they speed up to us and in an effort to make sure we see it, proceed to return the same gesture to the men in the pickup as they pass them...on the right.

We soon enter a construction zone so I have to follow behind these guys for miles. 68S-MJ2. 68S-MJ2.

When we leave the construction zone, these men have forgotten, once again, the speed limit, but they are at least on the right side of the road. As I speed up to 70 again, I slide by them and never glance their way. Like I never even noticed their unseemly act.

On Thanksgiving Day.

Movember

2008-11-12T09:16:00.007-06:00

I just learned of Movember a few days ago. It's like November, but with an "M." I'm sure y'all already made that connection, though.

I'm gonna keep this short and sweet...I'm growing a mustache to help raise money and awareness about men's health issues, mainly prostate cancer.

I'm going to look ridiculous, I realize this. But if by looking ridiculous for a month, I can get a few bucks raised to fight prostate cancer...well, so be it. Just try to take me serious throughout this process. I'll be taking and uploading pics as the process completes itself.

Now here's the crazy part: our team, 'Stache Away Cancer is trying to raise $100,000 for this cause. Wow, you say. That's a pretty lofty goal considering there are just two of you on the team right now. Yes, that's true. But here are the two reasons you should drop us a little coin and pass this along to anyone you know to help us out:

A) That's a lot of cancer researching.

B) My friend Justin can't grow a mustache. So, he always wears a fake one at Halloween (or other times...) and sometimes we get him to do this when we've been bouncing around a few German establishments drinking from a boot:

Or this:

Stacie designed that one.

Justin is still doing his part, trying to grow a 'stache, but not to much avail. What he has agreed to do, however, if we are to raise $100,000 is:

TATOO A MUSTACHE ON HIS FINGER!

That's right! If we can raise $100,000 he will never be 'stacheless. So that's two great causes in one!

Let's do this people, yes to fight prostate cancer, but also to always be able to take pictures like this:

So if you have $5 or $5,000 you'd like to contribute to this cause just click this link:

https://www.movember.com/us/donate/donate-details.php?action=sponsorlink&rego=2101556&country=us

If you have no money, please pass this along to your friends and family with money.

Or join our team by emailing Cory Minton at cminton@luciditycg.com.

If you have no money and love cancer, don't do anything at all.

That's One, Mr. Obama

2008-11-05T09:21:00.003-06:00

Not yet even inaugurated and the Obama Administration has already affected my life in a negative way.

I've read plenty this morning touting the historical significance of the moment and how whether we agree with Obama's policies or not, his administration could be a good thing for the country. Well, since I was probably the first person to be touched in a personal way, I feel I must share.

You may have noticed last night that there was a huge rally for Obama in Grant Park in downtown Chicago. You may have also noticed that I live in Chicago. You may have also noticed that yesterday was a Tuesday. And it might also have come to your attention in previous posts that I play flag football on Tuesday nights.

You see where I'm going here?

I lost my football game last night.

Big time.

Obama had the audacity (see how I flipped it on him) to schedule his big rally on a Tuesday night in Chicago and managed to swipe several of my fellow football players to come "support" him. As if he needed more support. You know what I needed? More football players!!

So what did I do? I grabbed a couple of guys I'd never met before who had just finished up a game and practically begged them to help us have enough people to field a team.

Mr. Obama, I laid down my dignity in an effort to win a football game because of you.

Have you ever tried to win a flag football game with your own team let alone a hodgepodge group?

Well, I tried. We were out of sync. We couldn't protect the quarterback. We couldn't cover their receivers.

Sure you could blame this on our athletic ability or the fact that we don't have a great playbook.

But why take responsibility for this loss myself when I know good and well that the President of the United States is supposed to do everything in his power to ensure I am successful.

And that would include moving his rally to Wednesday night. Or maybe even doing it earlier in the day to get it out of the way. We all knew who was gonna win this thing anyway. Get your celebratin' done so I can have a full team!

That's one, Obama.

Don't make me get to three.

Man Moments

2008-10-22T13:34:00.006-05:00

For some reason yesterday morning, I thought back to a time in college. I'm not entirely sure what caused this momentary flashback, but it was there.

"Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear." Empire Records. Anybody?

Anywho. So, I was taken back to a night during my junior year standing outside of a friend's house. We had just finished with a meeting for an organization when one of the guys there said his truck wouldn't start. Naturally, all of the men began to walk that direction to assess the situation. Usually my assessment would go something like this:

"Pop the hood."

hood pops open

"Yep. That's an engine."

looks a little closer

"Something's keeping that thing from turning on."

closes hood

However, that night as he turned the key, I heard a familiar sound. I knew what was wrong. I knew what was wrong.

Anybody got a screwdriver, I ask. Next thing I know, screwdriver in hand, I crawl underneath the truck, locate the starter and begin tapping on it. He turns the key and the engine comes to life.

I tell him that his starter is failing and that he should probably get that taken care of soon. He drives away probably thinking I'm a car genius. That's not true in the slightest. I've just come across starter related issues before and was in the right place at the right time.

But here's what I was thinking about: that made me feel like such a stud. Manly, you know? I mean, c'mon, crawling under a pickup and fixing a mechanical problem. It felt good.

I think we need that as men. Those moments when we totally come through in a traditionally manly way. That's not to say that a woman couldn't do what I did. Heck, I guarantee you that my cousin Kelli knows much more about the inner workings of an engine than I do, but my point is men need to have manly moments.

Which leads me to last night.

I find three things curious about what led to the events of last night:

1) The story I just told you about remembering feeling particularly manly.

2) The fact that I was unusually careful about which shirt I chose to wear to my flag football game last night. Selecting one, that I knew I could sort of replace if I chose to do so.

3) The fact that I had just had a conversation with my sales manager about how it takes a bit longer to recover from sports injuries than it did a few years ago.

So, last night I head to my football game a little more pumped than usual. Why? Because I was playing quarterback.

I hadn't played a game at QB since I've moved to Chicago. The team I found to play on was already assembled and already has their quarterback, and he does a good job. It just so happens that he couldn't make the game last night, so I nominated myself for the job of fill-in. I was pumped up, but also nervous because I wanted to make a good impression and win the game, so I was hoping the rust wasn't too thick.

The first drive was awesome. We moved the ball right down the field and scored a touchdown. That definitely calmed the nerves a little.

Sadly, the next drive I threw a pick six. Underthrowing my intended target on a short flag route (the receiver runs straight and then breaks at an angle toward the sideline.)

To get you to the point of this story quickly, a blown call cost us one touchdown (as I was reaching the ball across the goal line the defender hacked my arm causing me to fumble; attempting to strip the football isn't legal in flag but it went uncalled). And their only offensive score came on a deep pass against one of our more reliable defenders (fluke.)

Fast forward to the last few minutes. We're down 14-6 and we're driving. We were fired up and wanted to win this game. I had found some success running the football when the coverage was good, so with about 30 seconds left in the game and us driving I decided to take off.

I slip through a couple of defenders, and as I approach another I decide to spin and hope that keeps him from pulling my flags.

And that's when the lights went out.

Next thing I know, I 'm on the ground. I remember spinning. I remember a flash of pain. And what sounded in my head like a car crashing.

My hands are on my face. Blood is on my hands. Stars are in my head.

Slowly everything starts to settle down. I know that the refs have stopped the game. Someone says there are nineteen seconds left.

I sit up. Then I stand up, wiping blood on my shirt. My carefully chosen shirt. The tears from the initial impact have faded away. I can see pretty clearly. My face hurts, but other than that, I'm okay.

The refs are pulling me off the field. My team is finding a QB.

"I can play," I tell no one in particular. "I'm gonna play."

"No. You have to see the medic," says the ref. "Lie down here. Tilt your head back."

I do as he says. He tells me the medic is right over there, and I should go see him.

"Tell him to come here, " I say.

He goes and gets the medic. I stand up as he comes over.

"Oh...,"he says. "Let's see. Yeah. That's broken. Here's an ice pack and here's..."

"Can I play?" I interrupt. "There's nineteen seconds left. Then I'll be right back here to see you."

"I guess. Are you sure you want to?"

I go back on the field. The team had already sorted out the new positions, but I tell them I'm good; let's finish this.

*I must note here that my friend Cory Minton did attempt to get me to go and sit down and not play. (This should keep him in slightly less hot water with Stacie for not stopping me.)

We're about 16 or 17 yards from the end zone at this point. On the very first play with my new look nose, I attempt a pass but get hammered by the defensive lineman who was rushing.

In flag football.

No sympathy on this field tonight. The clock stops for the penalty.

12 seconds left.

Incomplete pass. Clock stops.

5 seconds left. Last chance.

I drop back. I look right and as I my eyes scan to the other side of the field I see a hole opening up and my receiver, Chris Bartas, moving right towards it. I throw. He catches.

Touch. Down.

14-12.

Sadly, we don't convert the two-point try, so the story ends with a loss. But I have to be honest with you. That was a moment that I felt like a man. Throwing a pontentially game tying touchdown with a broken nose. How many people have done that?

I don't tell you this story to boast in our near comeback. I don't tell you this story to let you know that I am now the proud owner of a broken nose (though some of you probably need to know that, so, hey I broke my nose).

No, I tell you this story because as men, we need to take opportunities to feel like men. We need to remind ourselves that being a man has nothing to do with the losers we see portrayed in modern sitcoms. Or the losers we see in modern advertising who can only be motivated if the end result includes beer, TV or women.

There are the everyday moments when we can achieve this feeling. And then there are the bigger moments that come around less frequently.

It was as if throughout the day, I was being prepared for my mid-sized man moment and the backstory for this post. And it felt good to step up to the challenge. I encourage you to do likewise.

Joe the Plumber

2008-10-17T17:43:00.003-05:00

I haven’t written much of anything about politics during this emotionally charged political season, and I feel like that has a lot to do with the fact that I’m not impressed by either candidate. Now, I have certain fundamental beliefs which are more represented by one candidate than the other, but at the end of the day I ask myself, "Really, America. This is the best we could come up with?"

So, why am I writing today? Well, they brought one of my own in to the mix. That’s why I felt the need to inject my thoughts into this campaign.

You see, there are many times when I go out in my super stylish 7 jeans or my awesome Buffalo jeans with a cool Jedidiah t-shirt. But inevitably while I’m out something happens.

I flash a little crack.

It used to bother me, but that was until I realized something.

I am ¼ plumber.

Being one quarter plumber is not to be confused with PCS (premature crack syndrome). I have a friend with PCS and it is a serious, often untreatable condition that causes the crack to start a little higher than it should and leads to crack exposure at an above average rate.

That’s not my issue at all. My grandpa on my Dad's side was a plumber. Plus my dad taught me the only two things you have to know to be a plumber: Sh%t flows downhill and payday's Friday. Therefore I’m ¼ plumber. I can’t help but show off the goods every now and then. I’m also ½ roughneck, but that’s for another post.

So, being one quarter plumber, it is my duty as a Plumber-American to comment about my brother Joe’s unusual rise to stardom and subsequent attacking over this past week.

First, for those of you hidden under a giant rock, Joe the Plumber met Barack Obama on the campaign trail and essentially said, "I’m a plumber. I want to buy the plumbing business that I work for, but if I do that it puts me into your category that you’re going to tax at a higher rate making it harder for me to be successful. Why are you going to do this?" Obviously this is not word for word, so here’s the link to the clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baIFocVnJpc

Notice that Obama says at the end of the clip:

"When you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody."

Joe the Plumber has not said who he is voting for, but the attempts to tarnish this man’s character are everywhere. In fact, just this morning the Chicago Tribune website’s main page had a link that read:

"Joe the Plumber’s Story Has Some Cracks."

Perhaps some headline writer just couldn’t resist the chance to print that lead and had to dig up some dirt on this man (I can’t fully blame them for that), but it seems this man is being taken to task to discredit him. That’s fine. If Joe the Plumber isn’t all he’s "cracked" up to be, I think it’s okay if we get to the bottom of that.

There's also stories out about how he isn't a licensed plumber, owes back taxes, couldn't make $250,000 in a year selling toliets made of solid gold and now SNL is going to do a skit this weekend about how Joe the Plumber is actually John McCain's made-up invisible friend (that's kinda funny).

But the real story here should not be Joe. I don’t care if Joe was a Republican plant who really makes $10 Gazillion a year and had to look plumber up in the dictionary to find out what a plumber actually does, and I also wouldn't care if he was on the cover of Plumbing and Mechanical Magazine (the dream of every plumber, my grandad was on it twice, the first time in the latter part of '36).

The real story should be that Barack Obama’s policies align more closely with Marxism and Communism than they do capitalism. This is not the first time Obama has let on that he prefers a more "fair" socialist system, but this is the most publicized.

Like, Joe the Plumber, my vote is between me and the ballot box, but if you know anything about me and you read this piece you probably have an idea which way I’m leaning. I don’t point these things out about Obama to get everyone to vote for John McCain. As I stated in the beginning I’m not so crazy in love with Johnny Mac either. And I think both men will have a tough row to hoe (or pipe to snake, to keep my references in sync) come inauguration time, and I’d be surprised to see either one of them make it to a second term.

I point this out because I want as many people as possible to understand that Obama believes in some economic policies that are scary to me. I believe that if you work hard for something you deserve to keep it. America is the land of opportunity even in her worst economic moments. If you work hard, save more and spend less, you'll find yourself in a great economic situation in no time.

If you believe that our country would be better off with a more Marxist form of economic policy, then Obama is your man. But if captialism is your bag baby, well, John McCain will have to do for now. Until 2012 when my man Joe the Plumber "cracks" his way into the race.

I’m sorry. I can’t help myself.

Last Last Time

2008-09-18T22:39:00.003-05:00

Remember when you first got the Internet? I don't, exactly, but I remember getting my first email address. And I know it must've been my senior year of high school (1997-98) because of my desire to be tyger35.

You see, 35 didn't become my football number until that year. I played center in 7th, 8th and 9th grade and wore number 51, that being an ineligible number, of course. Then in 10th grade, my buddy Robert and I made the varsity squad, Coach Fryer got us confused and they put Robert at center and me at guard/tackle depending on where the linebackers lined up (I was faster than other guard/tackles so I would chase down and block linebackers or pull to open up holes.) We just went with it and didn't find out until after the season that he thought he had us in our correct positions all along.

I had to do a number change that year, too, because they ordered new uniforms for the varsity team and didn't order a number 51. So I went with 55.

In a game during my junior season, playing guard/tackle I pulled on one play to kick out the end and open up the hole for the running back. Well, I knocked my guy down and our RB went through the hole. I got off of the ground and proceeded to chase our RB down, pass him about 30 yards downfield and block another guy. Coach saw that on tape and said he didn't realize I was that fast.

So, my senior year they moved me to fullback/tight end so I needed an eligible number. And 35 it was. Turns out I also played some O line that year when some injuries hit us and I also wore 52, but mostly I wore 35. For the most part, I played defensive end and not much offense.

Wow. And that detour was totally not what I sat down to write. But that is how I know exactly when my first email address was created.

Soon after that, however, I realized that I would need an address that was somewhat more professional for college entry information and soon after that resumes and job offers.

So I got tythompson at the same domain.

And somehow that email became my spammy, business email that I hate to look at. My tyger35 email is fun-loving, laid back and can often be seen downing a Shiner. Not tythompson, though. But it's not his fault. He's sick. And today I have decided to take back my email account. I got on tonight and had just over 3000 unread messages in my inbox (most spam) and then another 1900 in my spam folder (delete.) I've tried to do this before, but today I'm going to win this inbox back.

So, I went through all 3000 messages (because sadly, important emails still head to this account, so I have to screen them to make sure I don't delete something important.) It's been a daunting task that I've put off for a while now, but I am now going to log into this account each day and unsubscribe to anything that needs unsubscribing to and report as spam anything that needs reporting.

But I thought I'd share some of the fun stuff I noticed this evening with you. Obviously I got all of the emails about growing my man-parts, the poor souls in Africa who can't get to their money without my help and so on. But here are the special ones that I feel like you can only get if you neglect an email account for at least 3 years:

Apparently FUNKYDANKISGREAT tried to sign me up for a YouTube account.

There is a website out there called Free Rub that tries to hook people up to give massages to each other...yeah right.

I apparently am a perfect candidate for cooking school, obtaining a nursing degree, pursuing a career in writing, teaching abroad or becoming a medical transcriptionist. Wait a minute...that last one might make a dream of mine come true. I'm gonna go get that one out of the trash.

Brian Coleman wants to let me know that voice rehearsal lessons are cancelled this week. He must've heard me sing.

Tyeisha Thompson has photos waiting for her at Sears.

I've just won a free Wal-Mart Gift Card!!! My lucky day!!!

Katie Weese sent me an evite to her summer kick-off party. I don't even know Katie Weese, so that was very nice of her. What a cool chick. I clicked on the evite and it turns out I had been removed from the guest list. Tramp. I knew I couldn't trust her.

Burt Chevrolet in Englewood, CO thanks me for my business. I don't know about you, but Burt's our code word for danger.

Awesomeness. Plain and simple. Tomorrow I begin the reclamation project. Hopefully for the last time. Wish me luck.

Nine Eleven

2008-09-11T16:51:00.005-05:00

Where Were You

Most Americans probably remember exactly where they were on the morning of September 11, 2001. I am no different.

I had just made it to the West Campus Library which is the library right next to the May's College of Business at Texas A&M University. People used to say that you went to Evans (the main campus library) to study, but you went to West Campus to hang out. I'd say that was about right. I was a senior at Texas A&M and pretty much had a routine down at this point. I would bus to campus, unless I was running late and then I would drive and park in the pay lot. Then I would make my way to class, backpack casually thrown over one shoulder, thinking more about who I was going to hang out with at lunch than I was about what I might be taught in the classroom.

Today, I was early. That really wasn't so unusual then. When riding a bus to school, you never knew exactly when you'd arrive on campus. So, I did what I always did when I was early and detoured to the library's computer lab to goof off on the net and look for people I knew to say hi to.

Today, I found a group of friends immediately when I walked in, huddled around one computer. This was fairly odd since YouTube hadn't yet taken over the world, so I was instantly curious. My friends caught me up on what was going on, but none of us thought terrorism was in play. The first plane had done its damage. The second was yet to come. We all considered this to be a major tragedy, but an accident nonetheless. I made my way to class and found a seat. And sat.

Five minutes passed.

Ten minutes.

Fifteen.

Finally, my professor came in and informed us that a second plane had hit the second tower. Our government suspects terrorism and there will be no classes at Texas A&M University today.

We were all a little stunned, but we got up from our seats, filed out of the class and dispersed across the campus. I went back into the computer lab and found my group of friends. It was a very weird feeling to be under attack. I was 2,000 miles away from this battleground, but it was my country being bombarded. We had a friend living in New York City, in the Battery Park City area of Manhattan, at that time. We tried to call him, but if you tried to call anyone in New York on that morning, you know what level of success we had.

It turns out that he was outside of the World Trade Center that day. In fact, he was helping a man who had been hit by falling debris and was bleeding when the second plane hit. At that point, the cop who was trying to direct them to a hospital told them to get the hell out of there. He was unable to return to his apartment for several days until the city completed structural checks of the surrounding buildings for safety.

After our unsuccessful attempt to reach our friend, I decided that standing in the computer lab all day wasn't doing anyone any good, so I headed out.

I began to walk across campus at this time. I was pretty certain I could catch up with my close friends at the Memorial Student Center. The MSC had been home base for me for over 3 years now and today was no different. It was not even the first time I made my way here during a tragedy. When I was a sophomore during the fall of 1999, Bonfire fell.

For those of you unfamiliar with the A&M culture, we Aggies had been building a huge fire for the better part of a century which we would burn the week of our football game against t.u., better known to the rest of the country as the University of Texas. The fire is symbolic of our burning desire to beat the Longhorns complete with an Austin city limits sign and a t.u. frathouse (an old outhouse) on top.

The Aggie Bonfire reached a maximum height (and a world record) of 110 feet in 1969. Out of safety concerns it was thenafter limited to 55 feet tall. At its peak height, the flames could be seen from 25 miles away.

Since its inception there had only been one year that Bonfire did not burn. In 1963, President Kennedy was assasinated just before the fire was to be lit. Out of respect for the fallen President, Bonfire remained cold that year. However in 1999 once again, and possibly for good, the Texas A&M-sanctioned Bonfire did not burn.

But that year, the tragedy befell the A&M community directly. Around 2AM on November 18 as the final touches were being put on our Bonfire, the stack suddenly and swiftly collapsed, injuring 27 and killing 12 fellow Aggies.

I didn't know anyone injured or killed in the fall personally, but my wife, who I had yet to meet, did. This time I heard about it on the radio while driving my pickup to class. And I was not surprised when I found out classes were cancelled for the day. As I made my way to the MSC on that day, I remember the campus being eerily quiet. It was as though everyone was holding their breath in unison hoping for the best as we still were unaware of the toll that would ultimately be paid. Even the birds on West Campus, known as much for their squawk as for their unsightly droppings on cars, seemed to know that day was a day for silent vigil.

I thought about that day as I once again made my way to the MSC to be with friends, to wait, to pray. When I arrived, I found projector screens set up in the Flag Room tuned to news broadcasts of the attacks. I also found friends and the opportunity to pray as a group. And we sat and watched for most of the day.

You know the rest of the story. The Pentagon. Flight 93.

Soon after September 11, 2001, we began to get an idea of who was behind the attacks. Once we knew this, my roommates and I turned our dartboard into "Terrorist Darts." We printed out pictures of all the known terrorists (including a huge one of Bin Laden) and began piercing their images with deadly accuracy.

But probably one of the moments for which I am most proud of my school came when in less than two weeks, some quick-thinking Aggies organized a Red, White and Blue Out of Kyle Field for the game versus Oklahoma State. This included getting the word out, finding a screen printer to make over 80,000 shirts in about a week and coordinating a successful salute of patriotism and solidarity with New York City and the rest of America. All of the proceeds went to the New York Firefighters 9/11 Relief Fund.

That's me in the bottom left corner of second deck. I'm wearing the white shirt.

I hope you appreciated this little trip back in time. Those are two moments which I will never forget. One an accident. One an attack. Both tragedies. But what terrorists and tragedies don't understand is that each time we are hit, we huddle closer together. We forget our differences for a while and focus on our commonalities. We show more grace to each other less tolerance for those who want to attack us. I thank God that we've put seven years between us and that day.

Here's to seven hundred more.

A Tale of Two Feelings

2008-08-27T18:23:00.009-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was at Casey Moran's (a local public house next to Wrigley Field), and I felt the weirdest thing I may have ever felt. No, it wasn't the dollar cheeseburger I'd just pounded. And it wasn't the free 3-1-2 I was drinking either. It may have had something to do with the measly pay I'd just received for working my hind parts off at Lollapalooza. But, that was not it either.

I walked into Casey Moran's for our paycheck pick-up party wondering to myself if I could get the Texas Ranger's game on TV while we were there, but to my surprise I noticed almost every TV had the Bears' preseason opener beaming back at me (the other TVs had Cubs and Sox on them). Of course, I was not surprised that a Bears' game was on TV in a Chicago bar. What surprised me was that preseason football had started already. And I was a little surprised at how into it Bears' fans are.

And then it dawned on me...it's here. Hey everybody! Football season is here! Time to draft your fantasy teams! Make sure your TV is set up properly! Dance in the streets! Shout from the rooftops! After seven long months of darkness, the light will shine again soon!

Hooray, Football Season! Old School Style!

And then...something else entered my joyful heart. Something not so joyful. Something sad.

You see, in Chicago the dawning of football season also means the dying of summer. In Texas, the birth of a new football season comes with no such sacrifice. If anything we only move to a cooler summer, but it's still summer. But not here. Soon, the leaves will change colors. The days will grow short. The snow will fall. The people will shovel.

The city is alive right now. With the sound of music...wait. That's the hills. The city is alive with the sound of summer. Beach volleyball. Patio seating. Barbecue grills. Dogs swimming. Flip-flops flipping. And flopping.

But to have football season arrive means to have summer take a few final bows and exit from the stage. No matter how hard we shout, "Encore!" our summer will yield the stage for 8 more months.

So for the first time in my life, I am torn at the arrival of football season. Damn you, old man winter! You'll rue the day you did this to me. I will single-handedly lead the charge for global warming and "Old Man Winter" can become "Dead Man Winter" which will give way to, " 'Daddy, tell me about Winter. Was it cold?' 'Oh, son, Winter is just a myth. It never really existed. Like O'Doul's and Coors Cutter.'"

However, being that it is football season and there's nothing that I can do to stop it, I now present to you my annual prediction of how this NFL season will play out. I think I need a name for it, but I'll work on that next year. Last year, I was miserably inaccurate so if I pick your team to win something I'd try not to get your hopes up this year. As always, I will critique myself at year's end and you are no longer obligated to read on if "sports aren't really your thing".

AFC NORTH:

Might as well start at the division that is home to my favorite team, the Cincinnati Bengals. When the laughter dies down we'll begin.

Have we all composed ourselves?

I think this division may have the most negative question marks (as opposed to the NFC East which I think has the most positive question marks). You see, the Steelers are having some offensive line issues, the Ravens are having major QB issues, the Bengals have defense and offensive sync issues and the Browns have defensive back and "was last year for real" issues.

Out of all these teams, I see the Steelers having the most success because Ben Rothlisberger is a QB that is capable of making the line look good with some mobility and the fact that he is 8'10" and refuses to fall down when someone hits him. Excuse me while I go call Ralph on the Big White Phone after praising Ben.

Ok. Plus the Steelers have a solid defense. Sadly, I have to give them the nod. Most likely the order of the next three teams won't matter since the AFC North drew the AFC and NFC East to play this year and therefore have some of the toughest out of division schedules in the league. I'm guessing the wild card comes from somewhere else.

1. Pittsburgh
2. Cleveland
3. Cincinnati
4. Baltimore

NFC NORTH:

This division has some interesting story lines this year. Aaron Rodgers takes over for Brett Favre, can Adrian Peterson stay healthy for a full season, will the Bears ever find a QB, and can the Lions start out 6-2 and miss the playoffs again?

The answer to who wins the division is hidden in one of those story lines, but far be it from me to guess how this will shake out. Oh, wait, I am guessing how it will shake out. Let's see...eenie, meenie, miney, mo...I kid, I kid.

I think the Packers have this thing. They return a pretty solid defense from last year and if Rodgers can just drive the bus through the parking lot that is the NFC North without crashing it into a light pole the Pack should win the division title. Their only competition should be from the Vikings who boast a fantastic defense and running game, but a QB who hit a few cones last year driving the bus.

"They were cones!"

1. Green Bay
2. Minnesota
3. Chicago
4. Detroit

AFC SOUTH:

This division is pretty straightforward. If Peyton Manning is healthy, the Colts should take the title. If not, that doesn't mean they won't take the title, but everyone else might have a shot. Right now, Peyton is a little banged up, but promises to be fine for the season opener, so we all know who my numero uno in this division-o is going to be. But what about the two spot?

Jaguars? David Garrard played really well last year, only throwing two interceptions. The running game is solid and so is the defense. Wide receiver is a big question mark right now, though, so if I need a first down to seal a win or extend a drive who do I go to?

Titans? This team has quite possibly the leagues most exciting player on their team. I speak of Vince Young, naturally. But for some unknown reason, the Titans haven't even pretended to try to get him a real receiving threat. The rest of the team around VY is a bit average.

Texans? I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and be proud of the team that bears such a magnificent name, but so far, I've been bamboozled. Hoodwinked. I been had! It seems like the pieces are finally in place: a solid, young defense; a potential star at running back; a fantastic wide out; a very serviceable tight end; and a QB who has the potential to not suck. Is this team ready to play or am I getting the business again?

1. Indianapolis
2. Houston
3. Jacksonville
4. Tennessee

NFC SOUTH:

Oh, NFC South...I don't believe I've ever even gotten close to figuring you out. That leaves me to only one conclusion. You must be a woman. Well, Ms. South, shall we dance again? I'll lead. Try to keep up this time.

The Saints were the hot pick last year. I even picked them to go to the Super Bowl after their fantastic 2006 season. And now what? Do I pick them again? They seem to have all the pieces including newly acquired TE Jeremy Shockey. Their defense may have seen better days, but that offense is scary-ish and performed well at the end of last season.

The Buccaneers have 18 QBs on their roster, so you have to think one of them can throw. They have a defense named after them (the Tampa 2) and they have a coach that fielded a winning team for the Raiders. Interesting.

I like the Panthers every year because my friend Patrick is a Panthers' fan. Well, that's not the only reason. I also like their defense which may have a healthy Julius Peppers. I like Jake Delhomme, too, though he's been known to kill a game or two with the pick-6. But it's not like the Panthers are awful. And now I've met another guy that's a Panthers fan...what to do?

The Falcons...hmmm...so they're sans Dog Killer, and everyone is pretty certain their the worst team in the league. I'm not so sure I agree with that theory (which probably means they are the worst team in the league.) First of all, Matt Ryan is their starting QB. Sure he's a rookie, but what does he have to lose. Everyone thinks they're going to suck mightily so the pressure should be off. They also plucked Michael Turner from free agency. The dude had 4 carries for 113 yards in a preseason game already. I'm not ready to give this team the heave-ho yet.

But seriously, the division makes me feel like Kramer trying to fill in for Movie Phone.

"Why Don't You Just Tell Me What Order You're Going to Finish In!?"

1. New Orleans
2. Tampa Bay
3. Atlanta
4. Carolina

AFC WEST:

This should be a pretty straightforward division as well. The Chargers are one of the best teams in the league thanks to a very respectable defense and a man known simply as LT. Plus ol' Phil Rivers probably won't cost them any ballgames, so what's not to like. Well, Shawn Merriman apparently is playing on a pretty banged up knee. Other than that, I've got nothing.

So on to the race to be VP of this western ticket (it is election season after all). The Raiders...? They do have Darren McFadden. They are just not a well-run organization right now...sorry, Raiders, you're not on the short-list.

Chiefs, then? Damon Huard is not going to last very long in a debate with Jay Cutler. Neither is Brodie Croyle. But I do like Larry Johnson and Dwayne Bowe. I'd like them more if they were on a good team.

So, by default we're gonna have to go with the Broncos. Woo-hoo! Chargers-Broncos 2008! Hope! Change!

1. San Diego
2. Denver
3. Oakland
4. Kansas City

NFC WEST:

Remember when this used to be a good division...the 49ers, led by Joe Montana. The LA Rams led by...hmmm...the Falcons with their...wait NFC west? The Saints and how they...wait a minute! I thought New Orleans was...West? Hold on a minute...wikipedia.com...search NFC West...

Okay...turns out from 1981 to 1997 the 49ers won the division all but 4 times. That's 13 division titles for the Niners, 4 for the rest of the teams for those keeping track at home.

I guess the NFC West has always been dominated year after year by one team. Since the Seahawks have won it four straight years, let's go ahead and make it 5. The Rams were pretty banged up last year, so they may rebound and look a little better. Maybe. The Cardinals and 49ers are not good football teams right now. Maybe they'll prove me wrong soon, but I think this division is a safe bet for now.

1. Seattle
2. St. Louis
3. Arizona
4. San Francisco

AFC EAST:

Last year I proved that even amateur prognosticators such as myself can learn valuable lessons. After picking the Patriots not to win the East in 2006, I've decided to never not pick the Patriots as long as Tom Brady is wearing the Flying Elvis logo (as deemed so by TMQ of ESPN.com). Last year I was rewarded with a correct Super Bowl pick. However, the Giants snuck in and messed up my chances of picking a correct Superbowl Champion. So, once again we race for 2nd Place.

The Jets now have Brett "Real, Comfortable" Favre. Does this make them contenders? Most seem to think so, but I'm not so sure. He has to learn a new offense and he doesn't exactly have hall of famers out there to throw to. That being said, he didn't have HOFers in Green Bay last year either.

The Dolphins are in a rebuilding phase. The contractor overseeing construction is Bill Parcells, so their future is probably promising. However, their present probably has a lot of caution tape blocking off dangerous, unfinished corridors.

I like the Bills. I think they have a defense that shouldn't blow the game for you, a running back on the rise in Marshawn Lynch, a speedster in Lee Evans who can stretch the field for Trent Edwards and the offense. Their not exactly at four-time Super Bowl loser potential, but maybe one-time playoff game loser potential.

1. New England
2. Buffalo
3. New York
4. Miami

NFC EAST:

Now for the division that probably should be home to my favorite team. I grew up in Texas. Pretty much everyone I know is a Cowboys fan. Yet, somehow, I managed to become a Bengals fan...go figure. Anywho, as I said at the top of these predictions, this division has the most positive question marks. What I mean by that is every team stands to look pretty good this year. Can Jason Campbell step up and lead the Redskins to the title; if Donovan McNabb plays a full season, how good can the Eagles be; plus, how good can Brian Westbrook be; how good can Marion Barber be as the featured back; do Tony Romo and Terrell "Eldorado" Owens need a coverage drawing receiver; can the Giants repeat and will Eli Manning perform better with a ring on his finger (wedding and Superbowl)?

For the most part, I think you have to lean Cowboys in this division, though. And now that the Giants have lost some of their D-linemen to injury and retirement can they repeat the success of last season? Who knows!? That's why this is so fun!

1. Dallas
2. Philadelphia
3. New York
4. Washington

Now for Playoff Predictions!

Pittsburgh

Indianapolis

New England

San Diego

Wild Cards:

Denver

Buffalo

Green Bay

New Orleans

Seattle

Dallas

Wild Cards:

Philadelphia

New York

It's always tough to guess who might be playing in that final game of the year. Injury bugs bite teams. Some teams underperform. Some teams overperform. Bad weather can affect playoff outcomes. Who knows? But at the end of the day it is my job to look into the future and pick the outcome of the Super Bowl. So, I'm going to safely pick the teams who look the best in each conference.

Dallas Cowboys vs. New England Patriots

The Cowboys seem to be the best team in the NFC if they can get their act together and win a playoff game we'd all appreciate it.

The Patriots lost one game last year. Granted it was the Super Bowl, but seriously, what's changed from last year to this year. Will they win all of their regular season games again? Doubtful. But the champ hasn't been knocked down yet, so I'm sticking with the Pats.

And you're Super Bowl Champions....

Gotta go with the New England Patriots. And for good reason. They're probably a little pissed about last year and Wade Phillips and the Cowboys lack the experience to go to battle against Cheatin' Billy B and the Pissed off Pats.

Remember, if I picked your team to do anything half-way decent this year, be prepared for a long season.

And, Winter, I'm putting you on notice, Stephen Colbert style.

I Feel the Need...the Need for Speed!

2008-08-23T10:45:00.031-05:00

You may have noticed the Top Gun reference in the title. At least, I hope you did. If you were born pre-1986 and can't quote 75% of Top Gun where the heck have you been for the last 22+ years?

Maybe this picture will help you understand why I have Top Gun on the brain:

So, this photo was taken at the Chicago Air and Water Show that happened last week. Actually...loads and loads of stuff happened last weekend. And really this was at the pre-show at the Gary-Chicago Airport. But let's start with the Chicago Air and Water Show because that's really where this story gets interesting.

To shorten what could be a dangerously long story, our friends Cory and Millie (who we have recently met at our church)(and who are an Aggie and a Vol respectively) work for a company that sells Oracle software. Oracle sponsors some stunt pilots under the name, wait for it, Team Oracle. Team Oracle is led by Sean D. Tucker who does things in a plane like this (you get a pretty good idea after 15 seconds):

So, Cory and Millie score us all some VIP passes to the pre-show on Thursday night at the Gary-Chicago Airport. For a while we just walk around watching jets and planes do some unreal stuff. As Cory would say, it will melt your face off. Then we finally notice that no one where we're at has VIP passes, so we think that there has to be more to this and decide to see how close we can get to everything that's happening.

Well, close as we can get turns out to be in the hangar where all of the Team Oracle planes and pilots are hanging out. We meet Sean D. and take some pictures with our Gig Em thumbs out.

Then we chat it up a bit about his awesomeness when out of the blue he throws out the best pickup line ever. On mine and Cory's wives.

"Hey, you ladies want to go flying?"

How many times has that worked. Every time. That's how many. Think about it for a second. You're a dude hanging out in a bar. Or a restaurant. Or a church. Wherever you pick up ladies. And you walk up and say, "Hi. You look pretty tonight."

And then up walks Joe Flyboy and he says, "Hi. Wanna go flying?"

Who wins? Not you.

So, of course our ladies immediately say, "YES!" while Cory and I start to figure out what we're gonna do when Sean's plane disappears with our wives to some remote island full of flyboys and stolen ladies.

So, the next morning at 11AM we take Stacie and Millie to the awesomeness that is flying in a stunt plane. As they were getting into their gear someone asked if they were nervous or thought they might throw up. Cory's friend Justin who was with us piped up and asked if you could throw up from jealousy. I think you can. Here's some preflight photos:

We couldn't see what happened after take off since they were way off over Lake Michigan, but they did some pretty amazing stuff. The did barrel rolls, loops, and some free falls. Each girl was in the front of their own plane and the pilots let them each fly the plane. They got to fly their own barrel rolls and loops.

Anybody jealous, yet? I know at least one dude that is.

Post flight pics:

At the end of the day, it was a pretty amazing time. And Sean was kind enough to bring our wives back to us, but he did warn us that he just took them on the most expensive free flight they'll ever go on. Anybody know where I can get a pilot's license and buy a plane at?

But the fun didn't stop there. Sean then asked us if we were going to the Air Show. Of course we were. And he said, let me get you some VIP passes to sit in the Blue Angels friends and family section.

Ahhhh, yeah!

Since Stacie's parents were coming into town we asked if we could have a couple of extra passes and he obviously said he could get as many as we needed.

So, the next day we were front and center for the Chicago Air and Water Show. There were 3.1 million people on the lakefront to watch the show and we were among the 25 or so that were front and center. We filled up a 4G card with pictures, but I'll just drop a few for you here. If you ever get a chance to sit in the Blue Angels VIP section after your wife flys in a professional stunt plane, I highly recommend it.

The Blue Angels lined up before takeoff at the Gary-Chicago Airport

Two stunt planes performing at the show.

A patriotic parachuter makes a perfect landing. Say that ten times fast.

"Fat Albert", the Blue Angels' C130 showing off his skills.

These guys gave the play by play for the Blue Angels.

Here they are in their diamond formation.

I have no idea how they don't hit each other.

Here's five doing a huge loop.

A nice closeup.

These two just crossed. And right in front of us.

This was kind of awesome.

That's actually four jets. How they get that close to each other is beyond me.

All six breaking apart.

Millie and Cory, the hookup artists.

The fam.

Me and Stacie

Me and Cory. Looking cool.

As if that weren't enough for the weekend, after the Air Show, we come back to find our local block party in full force right in front of our condo. So, naturally we jump right in. It was great to finally get to meet some of our neighbors that we hadn't had an opportunity to introduce ourselves to yet. Turns out one of them heads up marketing for Miller and hooked our street up with free beer. Gonna have to keep her on the street.

Plus, it only took about 10 minutes before we turned it into a College Station, TX party. Since Cory, Stacie and I were Aggies and since the Moffett's are obviously from Texas, we had neighbors bringing out cowboy hats and playing Robert Earl Keen on the iPod outside. Crazy. I half expected it to turn into an all-out street dance or see someone bring out a live goat. (That's for all my Brady and Van Alstyne peeps.)

To top it all off, on Sunday we decided to pull ourselves out of redneck-dom by our bootstraps. We cleaned up and headed to the theater district and watched the musical Jersey Boys. And it was fantastic. You should go check it out, but I must warn you, the songs will be stuck in your head for about a week since you know all of them.

And that, my friends, was last weekend in Chicago. Tune in next time for more crazy adventures from the Thompson Family! And remember...

You can be my wingman anytime.

Storm of the Century!

2008-08-08T08:53:00.005-05:00

Okay, I'm into exaggerated titles today. And yes, this is my second post of the day. Let's just call this, two posts from your favorite blogger and a Popsicle joke. (The two of you who listen to the Range know what I'm talking about.)

See, the way it works, is I give you two blogs (this being number two) and a cheesy joke that you have to guess the punchline to before the end of this post. It's a bonus for my readers for doubling up today. You're welcome. Here's the joke:

What happened to the cow who went for a drive?

Okay, so this posting is really just a chance to post some pictures of the storm that blew through Chicago the other night. People around here were freaking out, and it did cause some damage. But I feel like we got these every few months or so in Texas. You know the kind: lots of wind and rain, tons of lightning, a few possible tornadoes.

Apparently these types of storms don't happen that much up here because it is still a topic of conversation even though it blew through on Monday night. There were downed trees (some fell on cars), there were in fact three official tornadoes spread throughout the area and we apparently saw 80% of the lightning strikes one would see here in a full year in just one night. Decent storm.

But the best line I heard all week was from Roe Conn on the Roe Conn Show: "Three touchdowns in one night? You don't here that in Chicago very often!" ZING...

Lightning Striking the Sears Tower

Lightning over the Skyline

Lightning in my Neighborhood. I live about a half mile south of that church where the lightning is striking.

And now the moment you all have been waiting for: the answer to you cheesy Popsicle joke!

What happened to the cow who went for a drive?

SHE GOT A MOO-VING VIOLATION!!!

Don't tell me that doesn't get the day started off right!

Chicago Flag Football Champions!

2008-08-08T08:40:00.004-05:00

We did it! The first flag football team that I played on here in Chicago has become the champions of the city!

Well...maybe not the entire city. We did win our league, however. Which was a pretty big league!

Well...it was comprised of 6 teams.

Okay, so maybe the title should be City of Chicago, Tuesday Night, Diversey Field Men's 7 on 7 Champions. That's a bit of a mouthful, so we'll just go with Champions of the City. Hey, we won our league. Who says we couldn't have beaten every team in the city?

The team is full of guys that I did not know at all before getting on the team. I went through Chicago Sport and Social's message board, found a guy named Leo who wanted a couple of extra players for his team, emailed him and the rest is history.

It's a pretty cool place that we play, too. We're at a park where the Hancock Tower and the city skyline is in the background and Lake Michigan is just to the east. It's pretty awesome.

And now I've got a whole bunch of new friends that I didn't have before I sent that email to Leo. New friends and a championship t-shirt...I don't care who you are, that's a good thing.

My Awesome Wife!

2008-07-31T23:13:00.004-05:00

So, we've lived in Chicago for about 10 months now, give or take. And Stacie has already made her way into the Chicago Tribune! Page 4 of the Business section on Monday, July 28.

For those of you that don't know what she does, I'll break it down for you. She's a designer and she's awesome at it. She does all sorts of stuff from wedding invitations to 43,000 sq. ft. offices.

The latter is what she was recognized for in the Tribune article.

So, I know you probably can't read the article, but they talk about how Upshot (Stacie's company) in an effort to meet the needs of their employees (Gen Y'ers) "empowered 28 year old Stacie Thompson to design their new 43,000 square foot office space."

She was even quoted as saying, "By allowing people to be comfortable in their work environment and allowing them to interact with each other and play, you get so much better work."

My wife. I outkicked my coverage when I married this gal.

Dear Craig,

2008-07-30T08:59:00.002-05:00

I don’t really know how to start this letter. You know how I feel about you, and that’s what makes this so hard. You recently caught me in an act to which I have no defense. My actions cannot be excused. Nevertheless, I feel the need to explain myself to you in the hopes that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

As men, we often have to hide the way we truly feel about each other. But there’s a place that we can go to where we can freely express ourselves. We don’t have to worry about the judging eyes of society. You and I have been to this place together often. But you caught me sharing that experience with another man recently. And the way I was caught…such an impersonal way for you to find out. I knew that there were cameras there, but I had no idea that he and I would be filmed and then have it broadcast right into your home…I am almost as distressed about how you found out as I am at the fact that you found out. You should have heard this from me.

What hurts the most is to think back to the many times we had done this and how much each time meant to me. I remember the time we drove all the way to Arizona together. If I remember correctly, it happened three times in less than 24 hours out there. One of those times we were outside on the grass.

Then there was the time we were really high. We just decided to do it on a whim, overcome with the emotions of saying goodbye to one of our favorite people who had to move to Milwaukee.
And of course, there was that last time. Right before I moved to Chicago. It meant so much to me. And I know it did to you, too.

Sadly, this is not the first time I did this with another. I feel I must be completely honest with you. Jaime and I have been doing this together for years. This is probably not so surprising to you since several times the three of us did it together. I thought once we’d be caught for sure when Jaime ended up on the Internet. Somehow I was cropped out of the picture, thankfully. I know for a fact that you and Jaime have done it without me, too. But that does not excuse what happened the other night.

I guess my only shallow defense is that it’s hard to be in a new place and not have anyone to do it with. So, when my old roommate came to Chicago we just got caught up in the excitement. The opportunity presented itself, and I knew he would be into it, so we went for it. This is probably what you saw:

I hope someday that we can put this behind us and watch another Rangers game together, expressing ourselves freely as men to each other in the Ballpark. We should invite Jaime, too. And let’s not sit so high next time. It’s too hard to see. But if we go back to Spring Training we can totally sit in the outfield grass again.

If it helps, I was thinking of you the whole time.

Hopefully yours,

T-Y